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THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 

GIFT  OF 

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ry,  paesid 


SECTIO  sr  of  all 

books  issi  rs  of  the 

Legislatu  session. 

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of  the  Library. 


THE 


SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD 


GREATEST   PLAGUE  OF  LIFE 


MR.  AND  MRS.  HONEYDEW 


LEARNED  OF 


HOUSEKEEPING 


BY  CHARLES  CHAMBERLAIN,  JR. 


NEW   YORK 
J.    S.    REDFIELD,  PUBLISHER 

140   FULTON    STREET 

1873. 


Entered  according  to  act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1872,  by 

J.   S.   REDFIELD, 
In  the  Office  of  the  Librarian  of  Congress,  at  Washington,  D.  C. 


EDWARD. 0.    JENKINS, 

PRINTER  AND  STEREOTYPER, 

NO.  20  N.  WILLIAM  ST.,  N.  Y. 


PREFACE. 

A  PROMINENT  journalist  once,  in  giving 
directions  to  a  non-plussed  reporter,  briefly 
said,  "  Find  one  fact — or  two — draw  on  your 
imagination  for  the  rest,  and  make  a  good 
story." 

The  reporter  did  so — and  the  account  was 
a  success,  in  a  journalistic  point  of  view. 

It  is  not  pretended  that  the  imagination 
has  not  been  called  upon  for  a  part  of  the 
present  volume  ;  but  that  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Honeydew,  and  dear  Mamma,  and  the  "la 
dies  of  the  employment  bureau,"  as  a  friend 
once  heard  the  "  help  "  of  America  styled  by 

one  of  the  "  fraternity,"  are,  to  a  certain  ex- 

(3) 

332686 


4  PREFACE. 

tent,   real   characters,   is  a  word  of  truthful 
information. 

To  some,  there  may  be  a  similarity  of 
circumstance  with  personal  experiences ;  to 
others,  there  may  be  exhibited  a  picture  of 
what  some  one  has  suffered. 

Such  as  it  is,  the  work  is  sent  forth, 
clothed  in  such  garments  as  seemed  most 
becoming  to  its  unpretending  personality. 

C.  C.  jr. 

NEW  YORK,  November,  1872. 


INTRODUCTORY. 

"  If  I  had  servants  true  about  me,  that  bear  eyes 
To  see  alike  mine  honor  as  their  profits — 
Their  own  particular  thrifts — they  would  do  that 
Which  should  undo  more  doing." 

Winters  Tale,  i.  a. 


GOOD  old  Sam  Johnson,  who  is  more  worth 
ily  correct  in  some  of  his  definitions  than 
either  of  the  more  pretending  lexicographers, 
who  comes  closer  to  Shakespeare  in  his  plain, 
undressed  and  fitting  similes,  gives,  in  the  first 
edition  of  his  dictionary,  a  few  definitions — 
such  as  in  1755,  printed  in  the  craziest  of 
crazy  antique  lettering,  he  gave  to  the  think 
ing,  writing,  speaking  world,  from  which  to 
frame  their  plainest  Anglo-Saxon. 

Dr.  Johnson  was  not  "  up  "  in  the  modern 
improvements  in  accessories  to  the  servants. 
No  such  word  as  laundress  appears  in  any  of 
the  earlier  editions  of  his  work — it  is  so  near- 

(5) 


6  INTRODUCTORY. 

ly  a  modern  invention  that  we  must  go  to 
Webster  for  it;  who  defines  the  "  institution  " 
thus: 

.  LAUNDRESS. — A  washerwoman  ;  a  woman  whose  employ 
ment  is  to  wash  clothes. 

But  good  Dr.  Johnson  does  find  other 
words,  and  he  defines  them,  in  that  same  old 
book,  as  follows : 

COOK. — One  whose  profession  is  to  dress  and  prepare 
victuals  for  the  table. 

WAITING  MAID,  ) 

f  An  upper  servant,  who  attends 
WAITING  WOMAN,  V 

\      on  a  lady  in  her  chamber. 
WAITING  GENTLEWOMAN,  ; 

NURSE. — A  woman  that  has  the  care  of  another's  child ;  a 
woman  that  has  care  of  a  sick  person ;  one  who  breeds, 
educates  or  protects ;  an  old  woman  in  contempt.  , 

If  the  definition  of  good  old  Dr.  Johnson 
were  exemplified  in  the  character  of  the  Ser 
vant-Girl  of  the  Period,  there  would  be  grand 
reasons  for  congratulations ;  but  the  distinct 
classes  into  which  servants  are  divided  are 
so  peculiar  in  their  individuality  that  it  is 
impossible  to  draw  a  comparison. 

They  do  not  fraternize  with  each  other. 
The  Irish  does  not  like  the  German,  and  the 


INTRODUCTORY.  7 

Ethiopian  element  does  not  stand  in  any  di 
rect  relationship  with  either  of  the  others. 
The  latter  class  may  be  left  out  of  the  calcula 
tion  in  the  consideration  of  the  help  upon 
which  the  housekeepers  of  America  are  de 
pendent. 

The  Cook  of  the  Period  is  the  most  im 
portant  of  all  the  servants.  When  the  wants 
of  the  inner  man  and  the  inner  woman  are  to 
be  ministered  to,  and  when  the  plain  duty  is 
to  "  prepare  victuals  for  the  table,"  and  nothing- 
more,  it  becomes  a  necessity  that  the  persons 
employed  should  be  cooks  by  knowledge,  and 
not  by  accident  or  prospective  instruction, 
which  they  expect  from  the  "  misthress  " — 
and  which,  unfortunately,  the  mistress  is  too 
often  unable  to  give  them. 

The  tide  of  immigration  brings  to  this 
country  a  class  of  people  who  hope  to  find  in 
America  a  solace  for  the  woes  of  their  own 
land,  and  they  bear  with  them  the  seeds  of  a 
presumptive  arrogance  which  ripens  as  soon 
as  exposed  to  the  atmospheric  influences  of 
the  new  social  climate  into  which  they 
come. 


8  INTRODUCTORY. 

The  Irish  girl  who,  when  asked  why  she 
came  here,  answered  very  quietly,  and  with 
the  genuine  national  wit,  which  does  not  seem 
to  be  conscious  of  its  own  existence,  "  It  was  n't 
for  want,  that  I  came  here,  sur — shure  I  had 
enough  of  that  at  home!"  told  the  truth. 
They  do  not  come  here  "  for  want  " — they 
come  to  rule  or  ruin,  in  the  households  of  the 
American  ladies  ;  and  they  generally  manage 
to  ruin. 

Plenty  of  food,  however  coarse,  is  what 
they  desire ;  clothing  is  an  outside  matter,  in 
more  ways  than  in  the  wearing  of  it;  and  that 
the  bed  upon  which  they  lie  may  be  feathers 
instead  of  straw,  is  what  they  desire,  in  the 
way  of  comfort.  They  are  used  to  few  of  the 
luxuries  of  life  when  at  nome,  and  they 
should  not,  therefore,  be  expected  to  know 
how  to  prepare  them  for  others.  Their  preten 
sion  to  the  knowledge  of  cooking  is  a  fault  for 
which  they  are  not  responsible,  and  it  is  a 
serious  reason  for  deprecation  that,  in  the 
education  of  American  women,  the  household 
duties  are  too  often  neglected. 

The   "  Intelligence   Office  " — an  institution 


INTRODUCTORY.  9 

which  has  grown  out  of  the  necessity  for 
servants,  is  like  a  double-edged  knife — it  cuts 
both  ways — takes  a  fee  from' the  servant  who 
wants  a  place,  and  takes  another  from  the  mis 
tress  who  desires  the  servant ;  and  the  same 
girl,  after  having  hired  out  for  a  week,  often 
obtains  a  week's  wages  after  working  a  couple 
of  days,  and,  being,  found  inefficient,  goes 
back  again,  seeking  another  situation  from 
the  same  office,  till  her  countenance  becomes 
as  familiar  to  the  habitue's  of  the  establishment, 
not  as  a  "  household  word,"  but  as  a  house 
hold  nuisance.  She  becomes  more  arrogant  in 
her  manner  from  the  little  knowledge  of  cook 
ing  which  she  may  have  obtained  from  her 
semi-occasional  service,  is  not  thankful  for  the 
beds  in  which  she  has  been  permitted  to  sleep, 
and  contrives  to  pick  up  sufficient  informa 
tion  to  know  how  to  broil  a  steak,  or  put 
together  the  simple  ingredients  for  a  rice 
pudding,  and  then  starts  out  as  a  "  cook." 

And  so  it  is  with  all  the  rest ;  the  "  help  " 
of  the  present  day  are  living  libels  upon  good 
old  Dr.  Johnson,  and  belie  his  just  definitions 
in  every  act  of  their  daily  existence,  not  to 


I0  INTRODUCTORY. 

say  their  daily  service,   for  which  they  are 
paid  the  most  exorbitant  wages. 

A  good  friertd  of  [the  author,  who  pulls 
with  him  in  the  harness  during  the  hours 
of  Editorial  life,  and  who  is  himself  a  "  house 
keeper,"  tells  his  experience  in  his  pleasant 
home.  "Paul  Peebles"  is  a  good  fellow- 
years  of  hard  work  in  journalism  have  taught 
him  to  tell  the  truth — he  does  so,  trippingly, 
and  the  liberty  is  taken  of  giving  his  pleasant 
letter,  just  as  he  sends  it : 

MY  DEAR  C :  O  ver  "  the  walnuts  and 

the  wine,"  the  other  night,  you  were  good 
enough  to  confide  to  me  your  purpose  of 
portraying  the  woes  of  American  house 
keepers. 

Do  you  know  that  you  have  undertaken  a 
stupendous  task  ? 

To  tell  the  story  of  all  the  woes  that  go  to 
the  making-up  of  our  domestic  life,  would  be 
to  rip  off  roofs  with  all  the  zeal  and  four  times 
the  rapidity  with  which  Asmodeus  ever  per 
formed  that  "  daring  act."  I  have  n't  the 
slightest  doubt  that  you  are  equal  to  the 


INTRODUCTORY.  II 

emergency  —  for,  upon  my  life,  I  can't  re 
member  that  you  were  ever  fairly  bowled 
over  in  any  effort  you  saw  fit  to  make — but 
(mark  my  words !)  you  will  find  this  subject 
grow  upon  your  hands  until  it  reaches  gigan 
tic  proportions.  There  is  positively  no  end 
to  it.  I  do  not  clearly  see  how  there  ever  can 
be  an  end  —  unless,  indeed,  the  ingenious 
device  set  afloat  by  Punch  many  years  ago 
should  be  reduced  to  an  actual  fact  by  some 
inspired  Yankee,  skillful  in  the  manipulation 
of  automatic  machinery. 

Ah  !  my  dear  old  fellow  ! — if  we  could  only 
wind  ourselves  up  in  the  morning  and  run 
down  at  nightfall — wind  up  the  house,  the 
furnace,  the  cooking-range,  the  bed,  the 
parlor,  the  nursery,  children  and  all  —  set 
them  to  clicking  for  a  certain  number  of  hours 
per  diem,  and  stop  the  pendulum  when  we 
pleased — would  there  be  any  need  then  of  a 
more  complete  Millennium  ?  I  trow  not. 

But  you  can  't  wind  up  a  serving-maid. 
She  would  not  "  stay  "  wound,  even  if  it  were 
possible  to  wind  her  around  your  finger.  No ! 
it  cannot  be  done  !  We  housekeepers  are  all 


12  INTRODUCTORY. 

slaves  — as  much  so  as  Wamba  or  Gurth 
were  when  they  wore  the  collar  of  Saxon 
Cedric. 

What  then  ? 

Nothing ! 

But  you  have  asked  me  to  tell  you  the  story 
of  my  experience,  or  a  part  of  it.  Suppose  I 
retort,  like  the  Needy  Knife-grinder — "  Story  ! 
God  bless  you,  I  have  none  to  tell !  "  Yet,  in 
my  case,  such  retort  would  not  be  apt  nor 
true ;  for  was  there  ever  yet  forlorn  and 
vexed  householder  who  had  not  a  story  which 
he  could  tell  concerning  that 

"  wrong  and  outrage  with  which  the  earth  is  filled," 

wherever  and  whenever  The  Servant  is  in 
question  ? 

Comfortably  ensconced  in  my  easy-chair, 
therefore,  this  inclement  November  night, 
with  slippered  feet  before  a  rousing  fire,  and 
a  choice  selection  from  that  box  of  Partagas, 
which  you  gave  me,  between  my  lips,  I  keep 
my  promise,  and  try  to  meet  your  require 
ment. 

Let  me  see ;  it  was,  I  think,  some  five  years 


INTRODUCTORY.  13 

ago  that  Mrs.  Peebles  and  I  took  our  first  les 
sons  in  housekeeping  and  the  science  of  do 
mestic  economy.  Our  first  servants  were 
Irish ;  our  next,  Ethiopians ;  the  third  set, 
Low  (very  low)  Dutch  ;  the  fourth,  High  (un 
commonly  high)  German  ;  our  fifth,  Swedes  ; 
our  sixth,  John  Chinaman — and  then  we  ran 
the  gamut  backwards. 

"  A  comprehensive  scale,  this !"  you  will 
say.  So  it  is.  But  I  shall  spare  you  all  de 
tails,  except  those  of  the  most  harrowing  and 
heart-rending  description.  My  eyes  begin  to 
fill,  already,  at  the  remembrance  of  past  woes. 
Will  your  lachrymal  ducts  distill  tears  in 
sympathy  with  mine  ? 

To  begin  at  the  beginning  : 

Number  one  was  an  Irish  person.  She 
came  to  us  highly  recommended.  As  with 
dog  Tray,  so  with  her ;  she  was  gentle,  she 
was  kind,  and  her  like  you  'd  never,  never 
find  ;  at  least,  that  was  the  meaning  of  the 
commendatory  epistle  with  the  perusal  of 
which  she  favored  Mrs.  P.  We  tried  her, 
and  she  tried  us ;  and  presently  there  was 
an  end  of  all  experiments  with  the  femi- 


14  INTRODUCTORY. 

nine  portion  of  that  excitable  race.  If  you 
will  permit  me,  I'll  drop  the  veil  over  all  the 
Bridgets,  and  go  on  to  recall  the  memories 
of  worse  experiences  than  the  Irish  maidens 
ever  gave  us. 

Our  second,  third,  fourth,  fifth  and  sixth 
ventures  having  all  resulted  in  one  single  dis 
covery — namely,  that  the  biggest  Intelligence 
Offices  had  been  absurdly  misnamed  (their 
products  not  possessing  the  slightest  atom  of 
intelligence,) — I  advertised  for  a  German  wo 
man,  and  immediately  received  visits  from 
fifty  vigorous,  strong  -  armed  females,  the 
greater  number  of  whom  spoke  broken  Eng 
lish.  I  picked  out  one  who  appeared  to 
promise  a  good  deal — that  is  to  say,  as  nearly 
as  I  could  understand  that  she  promised  any 
thing.  Her  speech  ran  somewhat  in  this 
way  during  the  three  days  of  her  tarry  with 
us: 

"  Haf  you  got  no  oder  bots  dan  dese  ? 
Ich  kann  nicht  my  dinner  cook  mit  such  bots  ! 
Der  last  place  I  vos  in,  die  laty  paught  me 
all  der  bots  I  vanted." 

Mrs.   Peebles   did   not  clearly   understand 


INTRODUCTORY.  15 

what  it  was  that  Gretchen  desired,  but  when, 
with  the  aid  of  Adler's  "  Lexikon,"  I  suc 
ceeded  in  enlightening  her,  she  instantly  cried 
out  against  what  she  was  pleased  to  term 
"  the  abominable  impudence  "  of  our  maid 
servant. 

"  Why,"  said  Mrs.  P.,  "  what  does  she 
mean  ?" 

"  I  really  don't  know,  my  dear !"  I  replied. 

"  Why,  Paul,  our  iron  pots  were  all  bought 
new  last  spring,  and  it  can't  be  possible  they 
are  all  worn  out !" 

"  Can't  say,  Mrs.  P.  Perhaps  the  young 
ladies  whom  you  have  been  in  the  habit  of 
entertaining  below  stairs  have  worn  them  out. 
Better  go  and  see." 

Mrs.  Peebles  took  the  hint,  explored  the 
kitchen  closets,  dived  into  the  cellar,  and 
found  her  nice  new  iron  pots  stowed  away  in 
the  potato-bin — each  with  a  big  hole  in  the 
bottom. 

I  immediately  went  out  and  bought  a  new 
supply.  „ 

But  this  concession  did  not  satisfy  our 
German  maiden.  She  had  boundless  aspira- 


1 6  INTRODUCTORY. 

lions.  She  was  a  person  with  "  views."  She 
was  troubled  by  literary  tendencies.  The 
pictorial  publications  selected  by  me  at  the 
news-stands  for  the  edification  of  my  "  part 
ner,"  began  to  disappear,  and  were  subse 
quently  recovered  from  among  the  pots  and 
pans  and  skillets.  Fragments  of  German 
newspapers  began  to  lie  about  the  house  ;  let 
ters  in  German  hieroglyphics  were  handed 
in  by  the  postman  at  brief  intervals,  and  they 
were  answered  only  after  my  library  desk 
had  been  despoiled  of  paper,  pens,  ink  and 
envelopes.  Greasy  smutches  began  to  be 
unpleasantly  manifest  at  the  edges  of  my 
book-shelves.  And  it  was  not  long  before  a 
lovely  little  edition  of  Zschokke,  which  I  had 
brought  home  from  Munich  (to  look  at,  for  I 
could  n't  read  it),  vanished  so  utterly,  that  to 
this  day  I  have  not  set  eyes  upon  it. 

I  sent  that  girl  away. 

She  was  succeeded  by  a  fellow  -  country 
woman,  who  spoke  no  word  of  English  under 
any  circumstances  whatever.  She  also  de 
parted,  after  a  brief  and  eminently  unsatisfac 
tory  trial. 


INTRODUCTORY.  I/ 

This  sort  of  thing  was  not  pleasant,  of 
course.  But  what  could  we  do  ? 

I  forgot  to  mention  that  when  we  gave  up 
experimenting  with  the  Irish  maidens,  and 
fell  back,  so  to  speak,  upon  the  steadier  Ger 
mans,  I  found  that  their  places  miscalled  Intel 
ligence  Offices  always  involved  me  in  the  pay 
ment  of  a  fee  exactly  double,  that  charged  at 
the  head-quarters  of  the  Irish.  So,  when  our 
second  German  venture  came  to  naught,  I 
disbursed  another  two-dollar  bill,  carried  the 
amount  to  profit  and  loss,  besought  the 
man  in  charge  of  the  "  Bureau  "  (that's  what 
an  Intelligence  Office  is  called  in  German)  to 
send  us  a  capable  woman  ;  and  then  waited. 

We  waited  for  three  days  before  one  came. 
During  this  interval  I  got  up  very  early  in 
the  morning,  went  down  on  my  knees  before 
the  kitchen  range  to  make  a  fire,  succeeded 
in  raising  a  vast  volume  of  smoke,  found  I 
could  n't  make  the  fire  burn,  got  myself  laugh 
ed  at  by  my  wife,  who  said  she  could  beat  me 
making  fires,  and  became  rapidly  transformed 
into  a  drawer  of  water  and  a  carrier  of  coals. 
Snubbed,  but  calm,  I  delegated  all  the  hard 


1 8  INTRODUCTORY. 

work  of  the  household  during  those  three 
days  to  Mrs:  Peebles,  who  proved  herself 
equal  to  the  emergency,  as  she  always  does ; 
and  I  think,  on  reviewing  the  situation  after 
the  lapse  of  a  year,  that  my  respect  for  that 
lady's  qualities  then  and  there  became  fixed. 

But  relief  came  at  last.  That  is  to  say,  we 
thought  it  was  a.  relief.  But  it  was  n't. 

The  new-comer  looked  like  a  lady.  She 
was  tidy,  neatly  dressed,  composed  in  manner, 
civil  in  speech,  and  her  English  was  not  bad. 

The  third  day,  she  refused  to  go  down- 
cellar  to  break  up  some  kindling-wood  for  my 
wife.  My  wife  went  to  break  it  up  for  herself. 
I  came  home  just  in  the  nick  of  time  to  call  up 
my  wife  out  of  the  damp  cellar,  which  was 
a  place  not  at  all  suited  to  her  bronchitis,  and 
to  hear  her  story  of  the  servant's  refusal  to 
do  her  bidding. 

I  was  mad — I  confess  it.  It  was  but  the 
righteous  wrath  of  an  injured  man,  whose 
wife  had  been  compelled  to  do  the  menial 
office  for  which  her  servant  was  paid  at  the 
rate  of  fourteen  dollars  monthly.  Being  mad, 
I  became  peremptory,  not  to  say,  sharp.  I 


INTRODUCTORY.  19 

went  into  the  kitchen,  taxed  our  servant  with 
her  misconduct,  and  directed  her  to  go  at 
once  to  the  cellar  and  carry  wood  and  coals 
up  to  my  wife's  room. 

She  refused,  point-blank. 

I  continued  mad. 

"Do  you  refuse  to  obey  my  order?"  I  in 
quired. 

"  Yes,  I  do.  I  won't  break  up  kindlings, 
and  I  won't  carry  coal  up-stairs." 

"  Very  well — then  leave  the  house." 

"I  won't." 

This  was  a  nice  condition  of  things.  But 
discipline  above  all  else.  I  gave  the  girl  ten 
minutes  to  get  out  of  the  door. 

Instead  of  getting  out,  she  went  off  into  a 
violent  fit  of  hysterics,  tumbling  down  on  the 
floor  all  in  a  heap,  and  shrieking  dismally — 
greatly  to  the  discomfiture  of  Mrs.  Peebles. 

"  My  dear,"  said  I,  addressing  that  estima 
ble  lady,  "  will  you  be  so  good  as  to  bring  me 
a  wash-bowl  full  of  water?  This  girl  seems 
to  require  an  application  to  her  head." 

My  wife  brought  the  bowl  of  water. 

I  poised  it. 


2O  INTRODUCTORY. 

Maiden  on  the  floor  glanced  venomously  at 
me  out  of  the  corner  of  her  eye — rose  with 
extreme  rapidity — opened  upon  me  with  a 
torrent  of  abuse — and  left  the  premises  within 
five  minutes.  Ever  since  that  time  I  've  kept 
a  large  bowl  of  water  handy.  It  was  a  grand 
discovery.  There  are  some  creatures  that 
don't  like  water. 

But,  bless  me !  my  dear  fellow,  if  I  were  to 
to  go  on  unfolding  to  you  the  long  catalogue 
of  similar  accidents  that  the  serving-maids 
bring  upon  "  virtuous  Americans,"  I  should 
have  to  ask  for  the  whole  space  in  your  book 
— and  you  want  the  most  of  that  for  yourself. 
Let  me  pass  on  to  my  Swedish  experience. 

It  was  a  queer  occurrence,  but  it  was  true, 
that  the  first  Swede  we  tried  was  the  counter 
part  of  Christine  Nilsson.  My  wife  was  just 
the  least  bit  in  the  world  dubious  about  en 
gaging  her,  having  heard  of  cases  of  suscepti 
ble  husbands.  But  I  convinced  her  that  I 
was  adamant  —  and  so  I  am.  Don't  laugh, 
you  cynic  ! 

The  Swede  proved  to  be  a  simple,  quiet 
creature,  whose  "given"  name  was  utterly 


INTRODUCTORY.  21 

unpronounceable  by  any  but  Scandinavian 
tongues,  but  who  gave  us  an  English  name 
by  which  to  call  her,  and  I  think  my  dear 
wife  got  on  better  with  her  than  with  any  of 
her  predecessors.  At  least,  I  heard  fewer 
complaints,  and  when  Mrs.  P.  came  into  my 
library  evening  after  evening  looking  cheer 
ful,  I  concluded  that  some  of  the  domestic 
storms  had  finally  been  calmed.  I  still  rest 
under  that  delusion.  I  hope  that  it  will  not 
be  dispelled  by  subsequent  developments.  I 
ask  no  questions,  and  I  am  not  troubled. 

Who  was  the  man  who  uttered  this 

aphorism  ?  "  After  all,  it  is  the  best  wisdom 
to  treat  with  absolute  indifference  or  con 
tempt  a  great  deal  that  happens  in  this  world 
of  misunderstandings."  He  could  not  have 
been  a  housekeeper — or  he  must  have  been 
profoundly  wise,  patient,  charitable,  even 
magnanimous.  I  know  a  dozen  families  whose 
existence  is  a  daily  torture  because  they  can 
not  regard  either  with  indifference  or  con 
tempt  the  little  nuisances  that  hive  them 
selves  within  the  four  walls  of  the  dwelling- 
house.  "  Misunderstandings  " — quotha  !  Is  it  a 


22  INTRODUCTORY. 

misunderstanding  when  your  paid  servant 
gives  you  daily  insult?  Is  it  misunderstand 
ing  when  she  uses  your  choicest  china,  instead 
of  the  stone- ware,  to  entertain  her  "  company  " 
in  the  kitchen?  Certainly  not.  But  there 
is  a  decided  misunderstanding  when  you  re 
quire  her  to  pay  for  the  costly  French-china 
platter  which  she  has  carelessly  shivered  into 
fragments  ;  and  a  great  row  instead  of  a  mis 
understanding,  when  you  forbid  the  visits  of 
her  lovers,  who  are  invariably  her  "  cousins." 
In  point  of  fact,  with  very  few  exceptions, 
the  housekeeper's  lot  in  this  country  is  a  hard 
one.  It  is  a  continual  struggle — literally  "  one 
down,  and  t'  other  come  on ! "  No  sooner  are 
you  rid  of  one  nuisance  than  another  appears, 
and  so,  I  suppose,  it  will  continue  until  our 
American  idea  of  equality  is  amended  by  the 
English  method.  Abroad,  you  can  get  civil 
service  ;  here,  you  pay  three  times  the  price 
demanded  by  English,  French  or  German 
cooks  or  waiters  in  their  own  countries,  and 

get what  ?   Impertinence,  dishonesty,  and 

the  privilege  of  doing  your  own  work  your 
self  in   the  interregnum  between   successive 


INTRODUCTORY.  23 

dynasties.     That  is  what  you  get  ,by  being  a 

"  man  of  family  "  in  this  Great  Republic 

and  quite  as  large  a  share  of  it  as  he  desires 
has  already  been  visited  upon 
Your  crony, 

PAUL  PEEBLES. 

My  friend  Peebles  tells  his  experience  truth 
fully  ;  and  he  sends  just  a  few  lines  more — 
perhaps  intended  as  a  postscript  to  his 
letter — in  which  he  gives  the  benefit  of  his 
researches  into  the  character  and  characteris 
tics  of  the  Scandinavian  element  of  servant- 
girlism,  as  follows : 

MY  DEAR  C :  Thinking  over  the  let 
ter  I  sent  you  last  week,  it  has  occurred  to 
me  that  there  is  one  phase  of  the  Servant 
question  to  which  I  have  made  no  reference. 

Do  you  know  that  the  Scandinavian  ele 
ment —  just  now  increasing  largely  in  this 
country — is  remarkable  for  one  mental  pecu 
liarity  ? 

The  Swede,  the  Norwegian,  and  the  Dane 
speedily  become  homesick. 


24  INTRODUCTORY. 

My  wife  has  just  told  me  of  a  curious  reve 
lation  once  made  to  her  by  a  serious  young 
Swede,  to  the  effect  that  when  she  could  n't 
get  her  money  from  her  employer,  she  went 
out  and  threw  herself  under  a  tree,  and  nearly 
cried  her  eyes  out.  It  was  a  foolish  act,  per 
haps,  but  natural.  When  a  person  is  four 
thousand  miles  away  from  home,  and  can  't 
get  his  or  her  money  for  service  faithfully 
performed,  it  is  enough  to  make  anybody  cry 
— or  swear.  I  never  swear  myself,  consider 
ing  profanity  an  immoral  practice.  But  I 
think  I  should  cry. 

The  weeping  Swede  who  reposed  this  con 
fidence  in  Mrs.  P.  went  on  to  tell  the  story  of 
her  life  in  and  out  of  Sweden.  The  upshot  of 
it  was,  that  all  the  Swedes  hate  to  leave  their 
stony  and  sterile  homes,  and  only  come  here 
because  they  can  make  money  more  rapidly 
among  us.  But  they  never  settle  down  into 
a  comfortable  life  until  they  get  all  their 
family  and  friends  around  them.  Then  they 
cheer  up,  and  are  pleasant,  sunny  folk.  The 
greater  number  of  them,  being  Lutherans, 
find  their  highest  enjoyment  in  going  to  the 


INTRODUCTORY.  2$ 

churches  in  which  the  services  are  conducted 
in  their  own  tongue — not  particularly  for  love 
of  Gospel  truth,  but  chiefly  because  it  is  the 
Scandinavian  habit  to  gossip  "  after  meeting." 
Give  the  Swede  his  family,  his  church,  and 
his  dish  of  gossip,  and  he  will  be  happy  as  a 
bee  among  the  flowers.  Deprive  him  of  one 
of  these  and  he  goes  about  your  house  with 
the  air  of  a  dismal  Jemmy. 

Conceding,  therefore,  that  the  Swedes  are 
multiplying  among  us — the  Census  says  so, 
and  therefore  it  must  be  true — let  the  fact  be 
known  that  if  we  desire  to  encourage  the 
immigration  of  a  thrifty  and  excellent  people, 
we  must  either  help  them  to  bring  over  all 
their  friends,  or  be  prepared  to  witness  end 
less  cataracts  of  tears. 

The  subject  becomes  mournful;  let  us  drop 
it.  Your  PEEBLES. 

So  much  for  my  friend  Paul.  He  leaves 
the  subject  of  the  Servant-Girl  of  the  Period 
at  once  to  the  author,  and  gives  a  send-off  in 
his  letters  which  points  a  moral  and  adorns 
this  particular  story,  at  its  very  beginning, 
2 


26  INTRODUCTORY. 

with  the  lessons  to  be  drawn  from  his  expe 
rience. 

The  question  of  just  what  we  should  expect 
our  servants  to  do,  is  one  which  not  even  the 
best  of  housekeepers  could  be  supposed  to 
solve ;  what  we  should  have  a  right  to  expect 
of  them  is  quite  a  different  matter.  Whether  it 
be  in  the  City,  where  changes  of  servants  may 
be  kaleidoscopic,  and  the  opportunities  are  of 
fered  by  the  hundred,  or  whether  it  be  at  the 
seaside,  in  a  pretty  cottage  such  as  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Harry  Honeydew  found  at  Long  Branch, 
the  annoyances  to  which  the  housekeepers 
are  subjected  are  too  great  in  number  either  to 
be  classified  or  enumerated.  The  men  and 
women  of  America  are  the  victims  of  the  ca 
price  or  the  ignorance  of  those  whom  they 
employ  to  do  their  household  work,  and  the 
experiences  of  the  Honeydews  may  not  be 
an  exaggeration,  when  a  parallel  is  fairly 
drawn  with  the  records  of  other  households. 

That  there  are  faults  in  household  manage 
ment  is  far  too  easy  of  discernment  to  admit 
of  a  contradiction ;  the  errors  are  the  errors 
of  the  present  time,  and  the  contrast  between 


INTRODUCTORY.  2/ 

the  honest  life-love  weddings  of  years  past, 
and  the  tinsel-weddings  of  the  present  day 
shows  the  partial  reason  for  the  trouble  which 
exists. 

Time  was,  when  people  settled  down  in  life, 
to  fight  its  battles  and  to  enjoy  its  pleasures, 
with  a  just  estimate  of  its  responsibilities,  and 
with  a  quiet  determination  to  be  to  each  other 
what  the  solemnization  of  the  marriage  con 
tract  intended,  and  to  erect  for  themselves  at 
least  one  angel  of  the  household,  in  the  person 
of  the  wife,  who  should  be  all  that  God  means 
the  woman  to  be,  when  she  places  her  love 
and  her  destiny  in  a  husband's  hands.  There 
were  generous-hearted,  noble  women  in  those 
days,  as  our  good  mothers  show  us,  and  as 
the  lines  of  family  portraits,  with  their  unique 
costumes,  tell  us  from  the  picture-cords.  And 
there  are  just  as  good  and  generous-hearted 
women  now,  and  there  are  many  good  wives 
of  the  present  days  of  extravagance  in  life, 
who  keep  the  white  ribbons  of  their  wedding 
cards  untainted  by  falsehood,  and  the  flowers 
of  their  wedding  bouquets  fresh  in  their  matri 
monial  responsibilities  and  life. 


28  INTRODUCTORY. 

There  is  opportunity  for  the  new-made  wives 
to  study  the  example  of  their  good  old  grand 
mothers,  and  while  the  possession  of  the 
world's  goods  in  abundance  gives  them  every 
scope  for  enjoyment,  and  no  fear  of  privation, 
they  may  weave  a  protecting  web  of  honest 
livery  about  their  new  lives,  by  allowing  the 
tinsel  of  their  wedding  days  to  wear  off,  re 
fusing  to  carry  its  flimsy  characteristics  into 
their  home  life  and  habits,  where  they  may  be 
better  fitted  for  the  duties  and  responsibilities 
of  their  positions,  and  avoid  one  of  the 
greatest  plagues  of  life,  in  the  inefficiency 
of  servants,  by  learning  the  lesson  of  what 
they  would  be  compelled — and  should  know 
how — to  do,  were  there  no  servants  to  send 
distress  into  their  households. 


THE 

SERVANT-GIRL  or  THE  PERIOD. 


CHAPTER  I. 

MRS.   HONEYDEW  MAKES  A  DISCOVERY. 
"DEAR?" 

"Well,  darling?" 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  were  inclined  to 
be  affectionate,  one  morning — and  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Honeydew  had  a  right  to  be  affection 
ate,  if  they  chose. 

'T  was  Sunday  morning — and  the  lady  and 
gentleman  alluded  to  were  comfortably  happy 
— comfortably  happy  because  they  did  not 
want  for  anything,  especially — and  happy,  in 
the  abstract,  because  they  loved  each  other. 

Sunday  morning,  then,  and  at  a  New  York 
hotel ;  time,  eleven  o'clock,  just  after  break 
fast  ;  Mrs.  Honeydew  in  the  daintiest  of  dainty 


30      THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

slippers,  and  the  nattiest  of  pretty  morning- 
gowns  ;  Mr.  Honeydew  with  a  velvet  smok 
ing  jacket,  prettily  trimmed,  with  very  use 
less  pockets  in  either  side,  the  whole  garment 
the  handiwork  of  Mrs.  Honeydew,  done  at 
odd  times,  all  in  secret,  and  a  birthday  pres 
ent  for  her  "  darling  husband  " — a  pair  of  slip 
pers,  worked  in  golden  beads  and  monogram 
on  a  groundwork  of  velvet — a  good  cigar,  in 
a  well-colored  meerschaum  holder — the  slip 
pered  feet  upon  a  footstool,  the  jacket  (with  a 
well-formed  pair  of  shoulders  inside,  of  course) 
resting  upon  the  back  of  a  well-stuffed  chair ; 
and  the  Sunday  papers,  either  for  political, 
social,  or  romantic  reading. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  had  gone  through 
the  chrysalis  changes  of  a  fashionable  wedding 
—lots  of  cards — lots  of  presents — all  the  day 
light  shut  out  and  all  the  gas-light  shut  in  at 
their  afternoon  reception.  After  the  ceremony, 
a  trip  by  way  of  Albany,  Rochester,  Buffalo, 
Niagara,  the  Lake,  St.  Lawrence  River,  Lake 
Champlain,  Lake  George,  and  the  Hudson 
River  to  wind  up  with,  at  a  cost  to  Mr. 
Honeydew  of dollars;  and  they  had 


MRS.   HONEYDEW   IS  TIRED.  31 

been  three  months  in  their  comfortable  hotel- 
quarters  at  the  cost  of dollars  per  day 

for  rooms  and  board,  and  the  cost  of 

dollars  for  "  extras." 

The  indefinite  question  by  Mrs.  H.,  and  the 
reply  of  Mr.  H.,  in  the  monologues  which  we 
have  used  for  the  opening  of  our  initial  chapter 
were  apt,  and  expressive — and  so,  Mr.  Honey- 
dew  turned  his  not  unhandsome  face  towards 
his  brown-eyed  wife,  and  waited  for  the  con 
tinuation  of  her  idea — that  is,  if  she  had  one — 
and  he  did  the  lady  the  justice  to  suppose 
that  she  had. 

"  I  'in  tired,  dear,"  was  all  the  answer. 

"  Tired,  darling  ?     Tired  of  what  ?" 

"This  hotel  life — I  want  to  go  to  house 
keeping." 

Mr.  Honeydew  turned  more  than  his  face, 
this  time,  towards  his  pretty  baby-wife.  The 
slippered  feet  came  down  from  the  ottoman, 
and  he  turned  squarely  around. 

He  couldn't  well  imagine  why  she  was 
tired;  he  wasn't.  He  had  been  thoroughly 
well  satisfied.  The  ice-water  had  been  placed 
at  his  door  by  the  attentive  and  well-feed  wait- 


32       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

er  at  eight  o'clock — the  newspapers  had  been 
thrown  over  the  transom,  and  had  fallen  be 
side  his  bed — but  the  early  morning  compan 
ionship  of  Mrs.  H.,  with  her  pure  white  face 
beside  him,  and  her  wealth  of  brown  hair 
lying  in  contrast  upon  the  pillow,  had  proven 
a  greater  attraction  than  the  morning  news. 
He  had  taken  a  second  nap — had  kissed  her  a 
most  affectionate  of  Sabbath-morning  greet 
ings — had  leisurely  dressed  himself — had  taken 
a  long  time  to  shave — had  arranged  his  well- 
cut  moustache  to  look  at  its  best  advantage — 
had  taken  a  good  breakfast — and  was,  as  we 
have  said,  comfortable. 

Mrs.  Honeydew  looked  marvelously  pretty. 
She  had  thrown  herself  down  upon  the  lounge, 
in  extenso — she  was  a  full-length  picture  of  a 
lady  who  had  just  discovered  a  newly  impend 
ing  development  of  her  married  life,  and  had 
arranged  her  general  appearance  to  make  the 
avowal  to  her  husband,  just  as  it  should  be 
made;  for  a  woman,  to  be  effective  in  an. ap 
peal  or  in  a  censure,  should  be  pretty— and 
Mrs.  Honeydew  was  even  more  than  passably 
good  looking. 


MRS.    HOXEYDEW   TAKES  ADVICE.  33 

She  met  the  glance  of  Mr.  Honeydew  with 
a  smile  which  had  more  anxiety  in  it  than  she 
was  probably  aware. 

They  had  lived  through  their  love  life,  so  far, 
in  complete  accord  with  each  other.  Mr.  Hon 
eydew  had  done  all  that  he  could  do,  or  could 
be  expected  to  do,  to  make  happy  the  life 
of  the  little  lady  with  the  brown  hair,  whom 
he  had  taken  to  his  heart  as  "a  household  an 
gel  ;  but  the  angel  had  lately  taken  occasion 
to  profit  by  the  visits  of  "  dear  Mamma,"  to 
obtain  what  "dear  Mamma"  maintained  to 
be  good  sound  advice;  and  the  lady  just 
mentioned  thought  it  no  more  than  proper 
that  the  angel  taken  to  Mr.  Honeydew's 
heart  should  have  a  more  substantial  place  of 
worldly  residence  than  a  suite  of  apartments, 
at dollars  per  week,  in  a  nice  hotel. 

Mr.  Honeydew  was  well  to  do— he  had  an 
actual  interest  in  a  broker's  business — he  had 
a  contingent  interest  in  some  "  lots  up  town  " 
— and  as  he  could  afford  a  home,  Mrs.  H. 
had  decided  in  her  prettiest  way,  that  he 
should  provide  for  his  household  angel. 

"  Dear  Mamma  says,  darling — "  commenced 
2* 


34       THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

the  lady,  in  a  slightly  tremulous  accent,  for  it 
was  the  first  real  effort  of  her  life  to  devise  or 
to  carve  out  anything  like  a  reality  of  what 
she  was  expected  to  do,  in  her  new  relations 
— "dear  Mamma  says,  that  we  should  go  to 
housekeeping.  You  know,  dear,  now  that  we 
are  married  there  may  not — "  here  the  lady 
blushed  becomingly — "  there  may  not  always 
be  only  two  of  us — and  you  know,  dear,  that 
hotels  are  not  pleasant." 

Mr.  Honeydew  smiled — he  let  fall  the  paper 
which  he  had  just  taken  up,  and  the  little  lady 
on  the  sofa  took  the  smile  for  one  of  approval. 

He  had  nothing  to  say  in  contradiction. 
Whether  the  lady,  or-  her  mother,  was  re 
sponsible  for  the  suggestion,  he  adopted  it, 
and  merely  nodded  assent  at  what  might  be 
an  impending  contingency. 

When  the  gentleman  threw  around  and 
about,  and  turned  over,  in  a  moment's  con 
sideration,  just  what  the  force  of  his  wife's 
argument  might  be,  he  drew  a  cloud-picture. 
He  saw  himself  in  his  own  house  —  neat, 
pretty,  not  extravagant,  and  well  appoint 
ed — he  saw  Mrs.  Honeydew  going  about 


MR.  HONEYDEW'S   PICTURE.  35 

superintending  things  generally — as  of  course 
she  would  be  expected  to  do — and  saw  not 
two  rooms,  but  several,  in  which  they  could 
move.  There  was  their  charming  bed-room, 
all  fixed  out  in  black  walnut  and  white  mar 
ble — with  a  blue  carpet  (Mrs.  H.  's  favorite 
color) ;  then  there  was  the  dressing-room  at 
tached,  with  his  pet  shaving  -  stand  in  a 
prominent  position  and  good  light,  by  a 
convenient  window ;  there  was  his  sweet 
little  wife's  pet  bureau — a  new  one,  to  be 
purchased — cheval-glass,  drawers  and  every 
thing  complete  ;  the  library,  with  all  his  bach 
elorhood  accumulation  of  books  and  papers, 
and  the  pictures;  the  dining-room,  in  wal 
nut  or  oak,  with  nice  high-backed  chairs, 
leather-cushioned  and  brass-nail-studded — m 
short,  there  was  the  whole  house,  just  as  he 
would  like  to  have  it — rand  it  should  be  his — 
not  a  vine  and  a  fig  tree,  but  his  own  proper 
(hired)  house — and  they  two  were  to  live  in  it. 
After  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  had  both 
breathed  just  a  little  more  freely,  and  the  ice 
in  the  matter  had  been  finally  broken,  there 
was  a  very  satisfactory  matrimonial  talk. 


36      THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

There  was  at  least  one  portion  of  a  stock 
in  household  furniture  to  start  on :  there  were 
the  wedding  presents — kind  friends,  generous 
and  thoughtful,  had  loaded  down  the  table  in 
the  present-room  with  all  sorts  of  suggestive 
contributions.  There  were  several  dozens  of 
spoons — and  there  was  a  predominance  of  la 
dles  in  the  general  assortment,  very  surprising 
in  extent,  and  very  unavailable  as  to  quantity. 

But  they  could  be  exchanged.  Dear  Mam 
ma  said  so,  and  of  course  she  was  right ;  then 
dear  Mamma  had  some  table  and  bed  linen 
which  her  dear  daughter  could  have — and 
there  were  several  articles  of  furniture  (not 
elegant,  but  very  precious  from  their  associa 
tions)  which  she  would  be  glad  to  give  them. 

And  the  dear,  loving,  delightful  lady  had 
saved  them  a  deal  of  trouble  in  the  selec 
tion  of  a  house ;  there  was  a  pretty  brown- 
stone,  English  basement  one  in  -  street, 

convenient  to  the  Park,  from  which  the  family 
—friends  of  one  of  Mamma's  old  friends — had 
recently  removed — and  she  had  inquired  all 
about  the  rent. 

In  one  of  their  daily  excursions— which  al- 


A   LITTLE   LETTER.  37 

ways  ended  in  time  for  Mrs.  Honeydew  to  be 
at  home  for  dinner — dear  Mamma  had  taken 
her  up  to  see  the  house — the  refusal  had  been 
obtained — and  now  the  proposition  was  made 
— at  the  proper  time  most  certainly. 

Mr.  Honeydew  thought  well  of  the  general 
proposition  :  there  was  an  hour  of  delightful 
conversation — plans  were  made  and  unmade 
— the  advertising  columns  of  the  Herald  were 
overhauled — the  most  eligible  "  wants  "  for 
a  cook  and  a  waitress  were  marked  for  an  ex 
amination — there  were  two  kisses  each  upon 
the  happy  prospective  result,  and  Mr.  Honey- 
dew  went  out  for  a  walk,  sending1  a  little  note, 
written  by  his  wife,  to  the  residence  of  her 
dear  Mamma. 

The  lady  was  happy  when  she  wrote  it,  and 
it  read  as  follows  : 

-  HOTEL. 
Sunday  Morning. 
My  Darling  Mamma — 

Harry  and  I  will  take  tea  with  you  this 
evening.  We  want  to  talk  over  the  house 
matters.  It  is  all  arranged. 

Your  loving  daughter, 

MARIAN. 


CHAPTER  II. 

MRS.   HONEYDEW'S   TOUR  OF   EXPLORATION. 

WHAT  a  pleasant  little  tea-party  it  was  in 
dear  Mamma's  cosy  dining-room,  that  Sun 
day  evening!  How  pleasant  the  good  lady 
was,  and  what  a  nice  cigar  had  been  laid 
aside  for  Mr.  Harry  Honeydew,  when  they 
had  adjourned  to  the  library,  and  the  well-laid 
plans  for  their  housekeeping  were  talked 
over ! 

The  minuteness  of  detail  with  which  the 
fine  points  of  the  arrangement  were  taken  up 
was  refreshing ;  and  when  the  two  started  for 

their  apartments  at  the  Hotel,  Mrs. 

Honeydew  was  ready  for  an  early  departure 
next  morning,  in  quest  of  the  necessary  force 
of  servants  to  run  the  new  establishment  suc 
cessfully. 

And  then,  it  was  talked  over  when  they 

were  at  home  in  their  pretty  rooms  at 

(38) 


MRS.  HONEYDEW'S  TOUR  OF  EXPLORATION.  39 

Hotel;  and  Mrs.  Honeydevv  seemed  to  feel 
very  jolly  at  the  prospect,  and  Mr.  Honeydew 
began  to  count  the  limited  number  of  his 
hotel  breakfasts  to  come,  and  wondered  where 
abouts  in  the  New  Home  he  should  hang 
the  pictures  which  now  graced  the  walls  of 
his  "  private  parlor,"  Room  No. . 


One  of  the  waiters  at  the Hotel  was 

somewhat  surprised  at  eight  o'clock  on  the 
Monday  morning  following  the  pleasant  little 
tea-party  at  dear  Mamma's.  Mr.  Honeydew 
had  company  at  breakfast;  the  little  lady  with 
the  lustrous  eyes  and  the  soft  brown  hair,  who 
had  become  Mrs.  Honeydew  a  few  months  be 
fore,  came  down  to  her  early  breakfast  with 
her  hat  and  cloak  on,  and  laid  a  pair  of  pretty, 
light-colored  kids,  with  dear  little  glove-fast 
eners  mounted  in  ruby,  alongside  her  plate 
with  an  air  of  confidence  which  showed  that 
she  intended  to  go  somewhere — and  "  meant 
business." 

She  had  cut  several  sparkling  advertise 
ments  from  the  paper,  had  put  them  in  the 
small  pocket  of  her  side-satchel,  and  was  go- 


40       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

ing  out  upon  her  trip  of  exploration ;  so  she 
finished  her  breakfast,  put  on  the  gloves,  and 
walked  out  with  Mr.  Honeydew  from  the 
"  ladies'  entrance." 

A  pretty  spring  morning — so  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Honeydew  struck  off  from  the  Avenue,  and 
together,  they  walked  down  town. 

It  would  have  been  more  agreeable  had  the 
lady  taken  a  carriage  to  make  her  rounds ; 
but  she  stopped  in  her  walk,  bade  Mr.  Honey- 
dew  an  affectionate  street-corner  farewell, 
and  then  examined  the  contents  of  the  little 
Russia-leather  bag : 

EAST  — D  ST.,  THIRD  FLOOR— A  RE  PECTA- 

ble  Protestant  woman  as  cook  in  a  gentleman's 
family  ;  understands  all  kinds  of  cooking,  soups, 
meats,  game  and  desserts ;  has  lived  in  some  of  the 
best  families  ;  reference  from  her  last  place. 

EAST  — TH  ST.— TWO  RESPECTABLE  GIRLS ; 

one  as  cook  and  to  do  the  coarse  washing  and 
ironing;  the  other  as  chambermaid  and  waitress; 
best  city  reference. 

TH  AV.,  CORNER  OF  — TH  ST.— A  NEAT 

tidy  girl  as  cook,  washer  and  ironer  in  a 
small  private  family ;  is  willing  and  obliging  in 
her  manners  and  is  not  afraid  to  work ;  has  the  very 
best  city  reference.  Apply  for  two  days. 

_  WEST  — TH  ST.,  NEAR  — TH  AV.— A  YOUNG 

woman  as  cook ;  would  assist  with  washing 
and  ironing :  best  city  reference. 

_  WEST  — TH  ST.,  BETWEEN  — TH  and  — TH 
ays.,  up  one  flight  of  stairs,  room  5.— A  respect 
able  girl  in  a  small  private  family ;  is  an  excellent 
cook  and  has  no  objection  to  assist  in  the  washing 
and  ironing;  four  years'  reference  from  her  last 
place. 


FIVE  CHANCES  FOR  A  COOK.  41 

Here  were  five  chances  for  innocent,  unso 
phisticated  Mrs.  Honeydevv  to  find  just  what 
she  wanted  ;  so  she  stepped  into  a  convenient 
drug-store,  begged  the  favor  of  a  seat  for  a 
few  moments,  and  repaid  the  favor  of  the 
seat  by  the  purchase  of  a  new  puff  and  a 
paper  of  Lubin's  best  toilet  powder. 

The  careful  hands  of  Mr.  Honeydew  had 
sorted  out  the  advertisements,  leaving  the 
lady  to  take  them  in  a  progressive  order,  in 
consideration  of  the  fact  that,  it  was  necessary 
to  travel  about  by  the  most  convenient  and 
time-saving  routes,  so  that  the  would-be 
housekeeper  saw  an  easy  task  before  her. 

Certainly,  in  all  the  long  list  of  females 
who  were  willing  to  serve  as  cooks,  and  had 
no  objection  to  assist  at  the  washing  and  iron 
ing,  there  were  more  than  she  desired,  and  on 
the  way  to  the  first  of  the  ladies'  houses,  in 

East Street,  third  floor,  Mrs.  Honeydew 

turned  over  in  her  mind  how  nice  it  would  be 
to  have  a  cook  in  the  house  who  knew  every 
thing,  and  who  could  get  up  her  dear  hus 
band's  dinners  just  as  he  would  like  to  have 
them.  Any  candidate  for  the  position  who 


42       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

could  answer  all  her  questions  would  be  a  jew 
el,  and  so  she  turned  off  from  the  Avenue  into 

East Street,  with  her  dainty  Polish  boots 

coming  down  fairly  and  squarely  upon  the 
plebeian  pavement,  as  though  the  best  favorite 
of  court  circles  had  deigned  to  lend  her  pres 
ence  to  a  not  parti cularly  aristocratic  neigh 
borhood. 

The  confidence  with  which  the  little  lady 
went  eastward  was  no  secondary  considera 
tion  in  the  beginning  of  her  day's  work. 
She  was  the  happiest  little  woman,  with  few 
actual  but  many  prospective  responsibilities, 
that  could  be  imagined. 

Many  a  time,  and  often,  she  had  started 
out  shopping ;  but  the  work  of  servant- 
hunting  was,  as  yet,  a  luxury  ;  so  she  was 
bold  in  heart,  confident  and  expectant,  as  she 

began  the  search  for  No.  —  East Street, 

third  floor,  to  seek  the  Protestant  lady  who 
was  willing  to  go  as  cook  into  a  gentleman's 
family,  and  who  knew,  according  to  her  own 
statement,  all  that  it  was  necessary  to  know — 
and  perhaps  more — of  all  kinds  of  cooking. 

Now,  Marian  Honeydew  was  an  enterpris- 


A  STRANGE  NEIGHBORHOOD.  43 

ing  little  woman  ;  she  had  correct  ideas  in 
some  things,  and  somewhat  chimerical  ones 
in  others.  But  in  the  main,  she  was  right, 
and  so  she  tripped  along,  "  bound  east,"  with 
a  hearty  will,  and  full  confidence  in  the  result. 
Mrs.  Honeydew  had  never  been  so  far 
from  the  dividing  line  of  the  East  and  West 
before,  except  to  go  to  the  ferries,  and  once 
to  the  launching  of  a  steamer,  to  which  she 
went  with  Papa,  on  a  very  festive  occasion ; 
so  she  found  herself  in  an  unfamiliar  neigh 
borhood;  and  in  that  neighborhood  she  felt 
herself  to  be  thoroughly  adrift.  There  was 
not  the  orderly  appearance  and  the  cleanli 
ness  which  she  had  found  in  the  narrow  com 
pass  of  the  street  where  dear  Mamma  lived 
and  Madison  Avenue ;  there  were  several 
carts  in  the  street — carts  without  horses — and 
the  carts  were  standing  before  sundry  dingy 
buildings  and  before  sundry  stable  doors  ;  the 
tires  upon  the  wheels  of  the  carts  were  rust 
ed  and  dirty,  and  boys  were  playing  hide  and 
seek  in  and  below  the  vehicles.  The  gamins 
of  the  East  side  looked  and  laughed  at  Mrs. 
Marian  Honeydew,  but  Mrs.  Marian  Honey- 


44       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

dew  did  not  take  time  to  laugh  at  them  ;  she 
was  studying  the  street  numbers,  and  wonder 
ing  how  much  farther  off  the  desired  house 
might  be,  and  just  how  far  eastward  the 
street  might  extend. 

"  You'se  lookin'  for  some  un,  ma'am  ?"  ask 
ed  a  chubby-faced  lad,  with  a  greasy  cap  on 
his  head,  and  a  dirty  rubber  ball  in  his  left 
hand.  "  Who  d  'ye  want  over  'ere?" 

The  lad  was  good-humored,  and  his  face 
looked  honest,  so  she  laid  her  gloved  hand 
upon  his  shoulder  as  he  looked  inquiringly 
up  at  her,  gathered  her  skirts  a  little  more 
carefully  from  the  unswept  pavement,  and 
gave  him  a  couple  of  five-cent  pieces  for  his 
politeness. 

Unfortunate  coinage  of  the  United  States 
mint !  No  sooner  had  he  received  the  money, 
than  his  face  was  lighted  up  with  a  broad 
smile,  and  he  looked,  first  at  her,  and  then  at 
his  dirty  companions  in  their  interrupted 
game  of  base-ball. 

"  Look  a-here,  Johnny  !  See  what  this  'ere 
lady  's  give  me  ;  she  wants  to  find  some  one  ; 
come,  you  fellers,  an'  help  her  ! " 


NO.  —   EAST  STREET.  45 

And  the  "  fellers  "  alluded  to  came,  prompt 
ly — four  in  number,  and  each  evincing  his  ap 
preciation  of  what  she  had  so  kindly  done  for 
one  of  them  by  suggesting  a  similar  present, 
and  offering  valuable  assistance  in  her  search, 
either  without,  or  for  a  consideration. 

Meekly,  she  told  her  trouble,  and  with  a 
generosity  of  character  which  will  (some  day, 
perhaps)  elevate  that  boy  to  a  high  municipal 
office  on  a  Reform  ticket,  the  lad  first  ad 
dressing  her  told  his  companions  to  "take  a 
back  track  an'  let  the  lady  alone,"  and  escort 
ed  her  to  the  house  she  sought. 

No.  —  East  Street  was  one  of  the 

features  of  the  city — a  tenement  house,  equip 
ped  with  a  fire-escape,  the  front  of  the  building 
ornamented  with  brown-stone  caps  to  the 
windows,  and  bearing  somewhat  the  appear 
ance  of  a  well-built  factory,  transformed  into  a 
dwelling.  There  was  a  wide  "  stoop,"  of  seven 
or  eight  steps,  and  a  front  door  which  would 
have  borne  a  highly  respectable  tenement- 
house  aspect,  only  that  the  lower  panels  had 
been  kicked  clean  of  any  varnish  or  paint  by 
the  boot-toes  of  impatient  urchins,  and  the 


46      THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 


No.  —  which  had  been  put  upon  the  center 
of  it,  in  the  palmy  days  of  the  establishment, 
had  been  covered  over  with  black  paint  by 
some  enterprising  juvenile  artist,  and  then 
circled  with  chalk  by  an  assistant,  while  above  it 
was  the  dignified  inscription,  in  crazy  char 
acters  : 


HOSE 

O.  10.  B. 

BULLY. 


A  frouzy-headed  Irish  woman  stood  lean 
ing  against  the  side  of  the  partly  open  door, 
and  to  her  Marian  Honeydew  addressed  her 
conversation — in  a  tremblingly  anxious  tone. 
The  Milesian  lady  took  in  at  a  single  glance 
the  errand  and  disposition  of  the  lady,  answer 
ing  her  question  almost  before  it  had  been 
completed. 

"  My  name 's  Mulrooney — Ellen  Mulrooney, 
ma  'am — and  the  lady  you  're  lookin'  for  has 
jist  gone  across  the  sthreet ! " 

In  a  mildly  positive  accent,  Marian  explain 


A  LADY  SNUBBED.  47 

ed  the  object  of  her  visit — that  she  wanted  a 
cook,  the  woman  who  had  advertised  that 
morning,  in  the  paper — and  she  noticed,  in 
the  meantime,  that  the  eyes  of  the  Mulrooney 
were  directed  across  the  street,  in  a  peculiarly 
unintelligible  manner. 

"  Ye  want  the  lady  who  advertised,  ma  'am  ? 
well,  she  ain't  home,  I  tell  ye !" 

"  I  can  wait  for  her  then,  if  you  please — " 
suggested  Mrs.  Marian  Honeydew,  putting 
on  a  bolder  face,  and  resolved  to  go  through 
the  whole  programme,  submit  to  be  de 
layed  and  even  questioned,  by  the  frouzy- 
headed  female,  for  the  sake  of  the  cook  who 
knew  all  about  the  game  and  desserts  of 
which  her  dear  Harry  was  so  fond. 

There  was  a  look,  quizzical  and  half  insult 
ing,  from  the  woman  still  leaning  against  the 
door-post,  and  then  a  leer  of  satisfaction,  as 
Mrs.  Honeydew  stood  up  one  step  higher, 
almost  beside  her,  with  two  children  who  had 
followed  gaping  up  at  her  from  the  pave 
ment.  • 

"  Well,  ma-am— to  tell  ye  the  thruth,  ye 
need  n't  wait — ye  wont  suit  her!" 


48      THE  SERVANT  GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

Marian  turned  from  the  indignant  Ellen  Mul- 
rooney — 'twas  like  a  blow  between  her  pretty 
dark  eyes,  now  flashing  with  ill-pent  vexation, 
this  sudden  dismissal  from  further  enquiry, 
while  a  low,  ringing  laugh  resounded  from  a 
two-story  frame  house  directly  opposite. 

The  applicant  for  the  place  had  bargained 
with  Ellen  Mulrooney  to  inspect  the  ladies  who 
came  in  answer  to  the  six  line  advertisement ; 
telegraphic  signals  to  her  accomplice  had 
conveyed  the  news  that  she  was  "  not  at 
home,"  and  Ellen  Mulrooney  had  conveyed 
that  meaning,  as  she  closed  the  door  and  left 
our  anxious  servant-seeker  standing  on  the 
steps. 

Marian  could  have  cried — but  she  did  n't ; 
all  the  "  decision  of  character,"  as  dear  Mam 
ma  was  pleased  to  call  it,  which  came  to  her 
by  inheritance  of  disposition  from  her  respect 
ed  maternal,  came  to  her  aid,  as  she  coolly 
stood  upon  the  stone  steps,  and  referred  to 
the  advertisements  which  Harry  had  so  nicely 
arranged  for  her. 

A  carriage,  coming  out  from  one  of  the  ad 
jacent  stables,  rolled  past  the  door,  and  the 


A  SECOND   TRIAL.  49 

appearance   of  a  well-dressed   lady  arrested 
the  attention  of  the  driver. 

He  looked  at  Marian  Honeydew — she  look 
ed  at  him  ;  he  stopped  and  drew  up  his  frac 
tious  horses  at  the  curb-stone. 

"  Are  you  engaged  ?"  she  asked. 

"  No,  Miss,  not  for  an  hour." 

"  Then  drive  me  to  No.  —  Avenue,  corner 
of  West Street." 

She  entered  the  open  door  of  the  coach 
without  more  ado,  and  while  she  was  being 
driven  off  to  the  West  side  of  the  town,  re 
flected  upon  her  first  experience,  and  kept  on 
reflecting,  till  "  Here  you  are,  ma'am ;  shall  I 
wait  for  you  ?"  aroused  her. 

This  time  things  had  a  better  appearance. 
The  house  was  a  large  one,  evidently  a  board 
ing-house,  and  she  rang  the  bell  with  confi 
dence. 

A  tidy  waitress  answered  the  call,  and  she 
enquired  of  the  girl  whether  a  servant  had 
advertised  from  the  establishment. 

A  girl   had  advertised   for  a   situation   as 
cook,  and  Mrs.  H.  was  shown  into  the  board 
ing-house  parlor  to  await  her  coming. 
3 


50      THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

The  "neat,  tidy  girl"  soon  made  her  ap 
pearance,  and  that  neat  appearance  won  the 
heart  of  pretty  little  Mrs.  Honeydew. 

The  girl  was  the  type  of  an  Irish  blonde — 
hair  of  an  indefinite  auburn,  clear  blue  eyes, 
rather  a  round  face,  but  a  generous  one,  and 
she  did  look  neat  and  tidy  in  her  dress. 

"You  advertised " 

"  Yes,  ma'am,  for  a  place  as  a  cook,  an'  I'm 
not  afraid  to  work." 

The  woman  had  evidently  studied  the  ad 
vertisement,  and  proposed  to  comply  with  its 
conditions  at  the  very  outset  of  the  enquiries. 

"  You  can  cook  ?" 

"  Yes,  ma'am,  I  can." 

"  All  kinds  of  dishes  ?" 

"  Yes,  ma'am,  most  all  kinds.  How  large 
a  family  have  ye  ?" 

"  Myself  and  husband — " 

"  Any  children,  ma'am,  to  wash  for  ?" 

"  Not  yet,"  blushed  Marian,  the  question 
was  so  suddenly  sprung  ;  "  I  am  lately  mar 
ried." 

"  Have  ye  kept  house  before,  ma'am  ?" 

"  Yes,  with  my  mother." 


THE  JEWEL  SECURED.  51 

"  Does  your  mother  live  with  you,  ma'am  ?" 

Mrs.  Honeydew  could  not  quite  see  why 
such  a  question  had  been  put,  but  she  mildly 
answered  in  the  negative,  to  which  the  girl 
continued  —  the  neat,  tidy  girl,  who  wasn't 
afraid  to  work : 

"  An*  the  wages,  ma'am  ?  I'll  come  for 
fourteen  dollars  a  month,  one  evenin'  an'  every 
other  Sunday  out." 

After  several  questions,  and  a  detailed  de 
scription  of  how  her  husband  liked  to  have 
his  dishes  cooked,  and  how  she  would  not 
want  her  until  the  beginning  of  the  next 
week,  and  how  she  could  have  the  Sunday 
out,  but  not  the  "  one  evening,"  and  to  which 
negation  the  girl  consented,  she  agreed  to 
come  to  Mrs.  Honeydew,  and  "  knew  she 
would  suit,  if  the  lady  would  give  her  a  fair 
thrial." 

So  far,  so  good  ;  and  so,  with  the  good 
news  to  be  taken  to  dear  Mamma  at  once, 
and  to  Harry,  when  he  came  home  to  dinner, 
Marian  felt  that  she  had  secured  a  servant, 
just  to  suit,  and  ordered  the  driver  to  set  her 
down  at  dear  Mamma's. 


CHAPTER  III. 

A  PAIR  OF  FAMILY   PORTRAITS. 

WITH  ill-concealed  impatience  evinced  in 
her  action  and  words,  our  expectant  would- 
be  housekeeper  was  set  down  by  the  coach- 
driver  at  the  door  of  her  mother's  house — a 
brown-stone  front  of  commanding  exterior, 
in  a  fashionable  neighborhood.  She  sprang 
up  the  steps  of  the  wide  portals  with  scarcely 
two  bounds,  and  pulled  the  bell  with  more 
decided  impatience  than  one  would  have  sup 
posed  the  dainty  hands,  encased  in  number 
five-and-three- quarters  Jugla's  best,  could 
have  been  guilty  of.  The  bell  rang  furiously, 
and  the  girl  who  answered  the  summons  flew 
to  the  door  with  more  speed  than  was  her 
wont,  even  upon  special  occasions. 

With  only  a  nod  to  the  girl,  Mrs.  Honey- 
dew  sprang  upstairs  and  into  dear  Mamma's 
room,  where  there  was  an  exhibition  of 


DEAR   MAMMA.  53 

family  portraits,  one  of  them  done  in  water 
colors. 

At  sight  of  the  old  lady,  who  sat  compos 
edly,  we  will  not  presume  to  say  indolently, 
in  an  easy  chair,  the  little  lady  burst  into 
tears,  and  sobbed  rather  hysterically  as  she 
hid  one  half  of  her  face  in  the  dainty  folds  of 
her  little  6x9  handkerchief;  for,  in  all  things, 
Marian  had  an  eye  to  the  pretty,  and  she 
knew  just  how  to  handle  a  mouchoir  when 
weeping. 

Just  here,  a  word  or  two  of  description  as 
to  Mamma  may  not  be  incorrect:  she  was 
stout,  a  little  above  fifty  in  age,  well-preserved, 
and  with  a  countenance  which  bore  unmis 
takable  evidence  of  what  she  was  pleased  to 
call  her  "  strength  of  character."  At  one  time 
she  had  been  good-looking,  perhaps  hand 
some,  and  she  was,  barring  a  peculiar  hard 
ness  of  outline  in  her  face,  rather  attractive 
than  repulsive. 

"  Well,  what  is  it  now,  Marian  ?"  was  her 
pertinent  question,  in  one  of  her  "  decided  " 
tones,  as  her  daughter  threw  herself  upon 
the  sofa. 


54       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

"  Matter  enough,  Mamma,"  replied  Marian, 
in  one  of  her  decided  tones ;  "  I  've  been  hunt 
ing  after  a  girl,  and  I  've  got  one,  at  last." 

She  told  over  to  her  mother  all  the  varied 
experiences  of  the  morning's  work,  winding 
up  the  description  with  a  graphic  picture  of 
the  neat,  tidy  cook  whom  she  had  engaged, 
stating  wages,  conditions,  and  what  the  new 
help  was  expected  to  do. 

Dear  Mamma  smiled  faintly  ;  but  there  was 
a  self-satisfaction  in  the  glance  which  spoke 
volumes.  She  was  an  effective  mother-in-law, 
a  not  overly  indulgent  mother,  and  she  saw 
her  golden  opportunity. 

Of  foreign  birth,  and  welF  equipped  for 
active  service  in  her  home  campaigns  by 
a  good  temper  of  her  own,  she  prided  herself 
particularly  upon  her  talent  in  the  regulating 
of  other  people's  affairs.  She  was  a  tireless 
worker ;  that  is,  when  her  own  especial  con 
venience,  if  not  her  own  comfort,  was  imme 
diately  concerned.  Of  foreign  extraction — 
German — she  had  come  over  to  this  country 
at  an  early  age,  the  wife  of  a  ship  captain, 
who  had  married  her  in  one  of  the  German 


WHAT  MAMMA   HAD   DONE.  55 

ports,  and  brought  her  over  to  his  own  home 
— brought  her  over  to  help  him  carve  their 
own  way  in  the  world,  which  she  had  done, 
working  and  saving,  through  years  of  slight 
comfort  and  some  necessities,  till  there  were 
lucky  turns  in  her  husband's  business  affairs  ; 
and  then,  with  all  the  pride  of  which  she  was 
capable,  they  had  branched  out  in  a  fine  es 
tablishment,  with  several  grown-up  daughters, 
one  of  whom  she  had  married  successfully, 
and  away  from  home ;  another  of  whom  she 
had  condescended  to  bestow  upon  Mr.  Harry 
Honeydew. 

It  may  have  been  that  Marian  found  a 
pleasanter  home  with  Harry  Honeydew  than 
she  did  within  the  limits  of  dear  Mamma's  pa 
rental  establishment,  for  the  title  to  the  house 
was  in  that  lady's  name,  and  as  she  pretended 
to  handle  a  certain  income  from  real-estate 
investments,  she  claimed  the  privilege  of  the 
dispensation  of  the  income  as  she  saw  fit. 

She  had  nicely  planned  out  the  way  of  life 
which  the  young  people  should  lead.  She 
wanted  Marian  to  go  to  housekeeping,  and  of 
course  expected  to  maintain  a  certain  right 


56      THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

of  supervision  over  the  internal  arrangements 
of  the  establishment  which  she  had  selected. 

And  so,  there  were  a  pair  of  family  portraits, 
that  morning — one  in  delicate  water  colors, 
and  one  in  decided  oil,  with  a  good  high  tone 
to  it ;  and,  without  being  altogether  an  illit 
erate  rendering  of  the  English,  there  was  a 
German  accent  to  Mamma's  language  which 
sometimes  rendered  it  forcible,  without  in 
tention  : 

"  So  you  've  got  the  girl,  have  you — and 
when  is  she  to  come  ?  " 

"  On  Monday,  I  told  her,  if  the  house  was 
ready  by  that  time  ;"  was  the  meek  reply, 
which  to  Marian  seemed  just  what  to  say,  and 
to  her  mother,  not  quite  what  she  should  have 
answered. 

"  Then  we  must  close  the  thing  up  at  once 
— what  does  Harry  say?" 

"What  should  he  say — have  n't  I  told  him 
that  I  wanted  it — and  should  n't  he  do  all  that 
I  want  him  to,  now  that  he  is  my  husband  ?  " 

Mrs.  Honeydew  brightened  up  a  little — she 
felt  the  master's  part  of  Mamma's  nature  ris 
ing  up  in  her,  and  there  was  an  importance 


POLICY  AND   COLOGNE-WATER.  57 

in  the  new  situation  which  she  felt  that  she 
should  appreciate. 

"  True  enough,  my  dear ;  but  you  know 
the  work  must  not  be  too  sudden  ;  time 
enough  to  do  quite  as  you  want  in  everything, 
when  you  are  settled.  I  have  been  to  the 
agent's  for  you  this  morning,  and  the  lease 
will  be  all  ready  this  afternoon.  Will  you  go 
up  to  the  house  with  me  ?  " 

There  was  a  sigh  of  relief  from  pretty  little 
Mrs.  Honeydew,  as  she  arose  from  the  sofa, 
brushed  her  brown  hair  back  from  her  face, 
bathed  her  eyes  with  diluted  eau  de  cologne, 
and  took  just  a  little  brush  of  the  chamois 
powder-pad  over  her  cheeks  and  chin ;  Mam 
ma  could  always  settle  things  so  nicely,  and 
so  quickly,  and  it  was  such  a  relief  to  her. 

The  visit  to  the  new  domicile  being  decided 
upon,  the  two  set  off — this  time  in  an  ordinary 
street  car,  and  proceeded  to  inspect  the  new 
residence  in  which  Harry  Honeydew  and  his 
song-bird  were  proposed  to  be  caged. 

And  it  was  a  neat  little  box  of  a  house,  to 
be  sure.     It  was  nicely  situated  near  one  of 
the  best  avenues,  it  had  a  good  exposure  in 
3* 


58       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

the  rear,  was  just  in  the  centre  of  a  row  of 
neat  little  houses,  and  it  was  altogether  a  de 
sirable  investment,  at  the  modest  sum  of  one 
hundred  and  fifty  dollars  per  month,  nicely 
furnished. 

True,  some  of  the  furniture  was  a  little  the 
worse  for  wear,  and  there  was  not  quite  the 
assortment  of  A — I  hair  mattresses  which  one 
could  desire  ;  but  it  was  good  enough  to  start 
with.  Harry  would  of  course  purchase  a  piano, 
for,  since  they  had  been  boarding,  Marian's 
music  had  been  neglected ;  and  there  was  a 
suite  of  bed-room  furniture  to  be  obtained  for 
Marian's  room  ;  and  the  dining-room  would 
look  much  better  in  oak  and  walnut  than  in 
the  present  equipments  which  were  placed  in 
it ;  but  all  these  could  soon  be  obtained. 

There  was  a  general  inventory  of  the  avail- 
ables  made — there  were  some  very  appropriate 
whispered  calculations  as  to  the  general  effect 
of  the  improvements  suggested,  some  few  cal 
culations  as  to  the  probable  cost — and  Marian 
went  home  to  her  room  at  -  —  Hotel,  threw 
off  her  cloak  and  hat,  and  watched  the  hands 
upon  the  Geneva  clock,  ticking  away  upon  the 


NEWS   FOR   HARRY.  59 

mantel,  confident  that,  when  Harry  Honey- 
dew  came  home  to  dinner,  she  had  a  nice  little 
story  to  tell  him  of  the  day's  work,  and  what 
might  come  of  it. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

MR.   HONEYDEW   DOES   HIS   DUTY. 

MR.  HARRY  HONEYDEW  rode  up  town  in  a 
coupe' — that  is,  he  "  tossed  up  "  a  nickel  at  Del- 
monico's  in  Broad  Street,  won  the  toss,  and 
so  rode  up  in  the  coupt  at  a  friend's  expense — 
as  many  of  the  Wall  street  fellows  do,  by  the 
way,  either  with  or  without  the  "  flipping  up 
the  currency." 

What  the  story  was  that  his  wife  told  him, 
though  very — and  properly — interesting  to 
the  parties  concerned,  would  be  of  little  im 
portance  in  detail  in  our  volume ;  neither 
would  a  description  of  the  seductive  matri 
monial  kisses  with  which  Marian  took  care  to 
punctuate  her  sentences  be  quite  appropri 
ate.  Sufficient  is  it  to  know  that  the  plan 
which  dear  Mamma  had  clearly  devised,  and 
with  which  she  had  "stuffed"  her  daughter, 

in  advance  of  Mr.  Honeydew's  arrival  home 
(60) 


MR.    HONEYDEW'S   CONVERSION.  6l 

to  dinner,  as  a  pupil  would  have  been  "  stuff 
ed  "  for  a  school  examination,  was  told  over, 
with  the  doubtful  parts  of  the  story  in  the 
most  delicate  parenthesis. 

Harry  found  his  little  wife  just  tired 
enough  to  be  interesting ;  for  any  lady,  when 
fatigued,  and  pretty  in  her  fatigue,  who  almost 
supplicates  for  sympathy,  with  a  pouting  lip 
and  a  pair  of  pretty  dark  eyes,  is  morally  and 
matrimonially  certain  of  securing  that  sym 
pathy  in  a  ready  consent  to  her  expressed  or 
implied  wishes,  if  the  party  of  whom  she  sup 
plicates  be  her  husband,  and  if  the  couple 
should  chance  to  have  been  lately  married. 

And  we  have  said  that  the  lovemaking  of 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  was  not  yet  over, 
and  that  Marian  was  decidedly  pretty,  and 
left  the  presumption  that  her  husband  was 
a  willing  convert  to  the  pleasant  side  of  their 
proposed  housekeeping  experiment. 

The  aspect  of  their  bedroom  and  parlor 
at  the Hotel  had  changed  since  morn 
ing.  In  contrast  with  what  they  were  to 
have  in  the  snug  little  English  basement 
house,  (convenient  to  the  Park,)  the  area  in 


62       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

which  they  were  at .  present  compelled  to 
move  seemed  decidedly  insignificant.  What 
were  two  windows,  looking  out  on  Broadway, 
when  compared  to  the  several  windows  of 
the  several  stories  in  that  particular  house  in 
which  they  proposed  to  live  and  have  their 
being  !  And  what  were  the  table-furniture 

and  cuisine  of  the Hotel  to  the  display 

of  wedding-present  silver  on  their  own  buffet 
in  their  new  home,  and  the  breakfasts  and  din 
ners  which  their  newly-engaged  cook  was  to 
prepare  for  them !  Mrs.  Honeydew  had 
framed  her  domestic  picture  in  so  pretty  a 
setting  that  Harry  was  jubilant,  and  his  wife 
contented  at  the  prospect. 

This  jubilation  caused  him  some  anxiety, 
to  be  sure.  According  to  the  inventory  which 
had  been  taken  down,  there  were  several  im 
portant  deficiencies  to  be  supplied  in  the 
appointments  of  the  new  house  ;  the  pots,  ket 
tles  and  pans  needed  a  general  overhauling, 
and  some  additions  ;  the  iron  utensils  were 
pretty  generally  worn  out,  and  some  of  the 
tin-ware  was  in  a  dilapidated  and  unservicea 
ble  condition — saucepans  with  very  thin  bot- 


MRS.    HONEYDEW'S   DUTY.  63 

toms  were  not  up  to  the  requirements  of 
Marian's  idea  of  what  saucepans  should  be  ; 
and  to  her  own  discretion  and  her  daintily 
gloved  hands  were  given  the  business  of  pur 
chasing  what  she  needed  in  that  line,  and  a 
general  assortment  of  ordinary  glass-ware,  to 
gether  with  the  selection  of  such  pieces  of 
stone-ware  or  china  as  were  necessary  to  re 
place  those  which  were  fringed  upon  their 
edges  or  variegated  in  appearance  from 
stove-burns  or  cracks. 

Wall  Street  did  not  see  the  junior  partner 
of  Margin,  Short  &  Honeydew,  Stock  Brok 
ers,  until  late  in  the  afternoon  of  the  next 
day. 

The  kind  friends  of  dear  Mamma's  friends, 
who  were  "  going  away  into  the  country," 
very  graciously  permitted  Mr.  Honeydew  to 
view  his  intended  residence  early  in  the 
morning,  and  the  lady  of  the  establishment 
volunteered  and  gave  him  good  advice  in  the 
selection,  while  suggesting  what  might  be 
needed,  and  as  a  surprise  to  his  sweet  wife — 
who  seemed  so  much  at  heart  in  the  whole 
arrangement — he  proposed  to  startle  her  by 


64      THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

doing,  unasked,  what  he  presumed  to  be  his 
duty. 

The  black-walnut  and  marble-top  suit  of 
chamber  furniture,  with  the  cheval-glass  bu 
reau,  were  selected,  paid  for,  and  ordered  to 
be  sent  on  the  Monday  following ;  the  carpet 
man  was  directed  to  take  the  measurement 
of  the  room,  and  the  blue  and  white  carpet 
was  selected  and  ordered  to  be  made  by  the 
same  time  ;  the  peculiar  ideas  of  his  own  (the 
fruit  of  his  home  living  and  bachelor  days) 
were  given  form,  shape  and  substance  in  an 
elegant  buffet ;  after  the  buffet,  the  dining- 
table  with  the  proper  extension  and  the  new 
chairs  were  added  ;  he  found  a  complete  set 
of  glass-ware  was  a  good  thing  to  buy,  and 
the  monogram  could  be  nicely  engrav.en  upon 
it,  in  due  season,  with  the  initial  letters  of  his 
name  and  Marian's  in  a  neat  wreath,  upon 
each  piece  ;  so  he  completed  his  orders,  gave 
directions  to  send  the  bills  to  the  office,  and 
went  down  town  to  business,  with  a  confused 
idea  of  what  the  stock-board  quotations  were 
the  afternoon  before,  and  a  very  distinct  idea 
that  he  was  setting  out  in  the  world  as  a  mar- 


THE  WORK  COMMENCED.  65 

ried  man,  and  the  head  of  a  prospective  house 
hold,  in  sober  earnest. 

And  how  with  Mrs.  H.? 

Xn  hour  after  her  husband  had  gone,  she 
was  standing  upon  the  doorstep  at  dear  Mam 
ma's,  anxious  to  carry  the  good  news  to  her 
and  quite  willing  to  receive  and  act  upon  the 
advice  of  the  lady  who  knew  just  what  to  do, 
and  how  to  do  it. 

The  advice  was  timely ;  it  suited  dear 
Mamma  to  give  it.  There  was  a  semblance 
of  authority  in  the  position  which  met  her 
preconceived  ideas  of  the  proper  superinten 
dence  over  her  daughter's  domestic  affairs 
which  struck  her  in  her  most  vulnerable  point. 
Her  decision  of  character  had  full  scope,  and 
a  trip  with  Marian  up  to  the  new  house  soon 
settled  the  question  as  to  what  was  immedi 
ately  necessary  to  be  done.  All,  or  nearly 
all,  of  the  worn-out  things  were  discarded  ; 
even  a  genteel  request  to  know  if  they  could 
have  the  house  before  Monday,  was  made  in 
a  polite  and  entreating  manner ;  and  by  three 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon  several  large  baskets- 
ful  of  necessary  things  were  delivered,  and 


66      THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

the  bills  sent  to  Mr.  Honeydew's  office,  and  a 
special  messenger  dispatched  with  a  note, 
written  in  a  delicate  hand  by  Mrs.  Honey- 
dew,  to  be  left  at  the  Hotel.  It  was  short, 
affectionate,  but  effective,  and  a  stratum  of  true 
womanly  feeling  ran  all  the  way  through  it, 
shining  out  from  within  the  envelope,  as 
Harry  Honeydew  saw  it  sticking  in  the  frame 
of  the  parlor  mirror,  as  he  came  into  his 
rooms  that  afternoon. 

"  MY  DARLING  HUSBAND, — Mamma  and  I 
have  been  up  to  the  new  house.  Perhaps  we 
may  get  in  before  Monday  ;  so  I  have  gone 
over  to  Mamma's  to  see  about  the  silver  and 
the  other  things.  I  am  so  tired  that  I  shall 
not  be  home  to-night,  and  there  is  so  much  to 
do.  Come  over,  please,  after  dinner ;  or  come 
over  and  dine  at  Mother's,  if  you  want  to. 
You  won't  be  angry,  pet,  will  you  ? 

"  Your  wife,  MARIAN." 

"  P.  S. — As  you  are  such  a  good  boy,  I 
send  you  a  kiss  Q)  here." 

The  circle,  which  was  supposed  to  con 
tain  the  affectionate  matrimonial  kiss,  looked 


NOT  ANGRY,   BUT  SURPRISED.  6/ 

so  cunning-  at  the  end  of  the  postscript,  that 
Harry  could  find  no  fault  with  the  note. 
There  may  have  been  just  the  faintest  possi 
ble  thought  that  Marian  might  have  been  at 
home ;  but  then,  the  dear  child  really  had  so 
many  things  to  do,  and  all  the  wedding  pres 
ents  were  over  at  Mamma's,  in  a  silver-chest 
in  one  of  the  front  spare  rooms ;  and  there 
were  so  many  things  to  be  talked  over  and 
accomplished  at  dear  Mamma's,  that  he  felt  it 
best  not  to  be  angry,  if  he  should  be  just  a 
little  piqued  at  her  remissness  ;  so  he  did  his 
duty  again,  by  eating  a  good  dinner  at  the 

Hotel,  lighted  a  large  cigar   after  the 

meal,  and,  cane  in  hand,  walked  over  to  see 
Marian,  and  to  surprise  her,  for  the  kiss  she 
had  sent  him,  with  the  story  of  his  day's 
work,  and  of  all  the  purchases  which  he  had 
made ;  and  he  never  realized  before  how  inde 
pendent  a,  person  could  be,  and  how  nicely 
one  could  entertain  his  friends,  and  live  at  his 
ease  and  comfort  in  his  own  house,  as  he  did 
while  walking  up  the  Avenue. 

Not  that  Harry  Honey  dew  had  not  always 
lived  at  home  ;  but  he  loved  his  almost  baby- 


68       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

wife,  and  he  knew  that  they  would  be  happier 
in  their  own  home,  when  they  should  have 
one. 

His  cloud-picture  was  fast  showing  its  out 
line  and  its  coloring  in  moie  distinct  charac 
ters  ;  the  work  of  the  day  had  given  a  zest  to 
the  undertaking  which  begat  a  new  interest 
in  the  experiment  of  housekeeping,  and,  like 
a  good,  fond,  indulgent  husband,  he  was  im 
patient  to  break  the  news  to  Marian  how 
pretty  the  cage  should  be  in  which  his  house 
hold  songstress  was  to  be  made  happy. 

So  his  musing  as  he  walked  along  was 
profitably  pleasant,  and  the  wreaths  of  smoke 
from  his  fragrant  cigar  served  as  a  sympa 
thetic  companion  in  his  evening  reverie. 

How  glad  they  were  to  see  him  at  the  ma 
ternal  mansion  ;  how  prettily  Mrs.  Honeydew 
apologized  for  her  absence,  and  how  she  hoped 
her  dear  Harry  was  not  angry  with  her,  were 
the  pleasant  things  of  the  occasion,  after  the 
gentleman  had  reached  Mamma's. 

Marian's  pretty  face  looked  well,  lighted  up 
with  expectation,  her  dress  thrown  off,  and 
she  clad  in  her  sister's  red  dressing-gown  and 


AN   "  OPENING  "  IN   SILVER-WARE.          69 

a  pair  of  her  own  old  slippers.  She  had 
been  at  work  all  day.  The  silver  from  the 
chest  had  been  spread  out  upon  the  bed  in 
the  front  spare  room,  and  it  was  on  full  ex 
hibition  when  Harry  came  in.  But  the  ladles 
bothered  Marian  ;  they  were  greatly  in  excess 
of  the  proportion  needed  in  a  well-appointed 
and  well-regulated  establishment ;  there  were 
napkin-rings  enough  to  equip  a  small  family 
with  one  or  two  children,  and  as  for  the  jput- 
ter-knives,  there  were  enough  to  fit  out  a 
genteel  boarding-house — but  the  next  day, 
the  ladles  and  useless  butter-knives  were  to 
be  transformed  into  the  required  number  of 
tea,  dessert,  and  table-spoons,  by  a  friend  of 
dear  Mamma,  who  presided  over  a  manufac 
tory  of  silver  and  plated  ware. 

The  bed-linen,  which  was  quite  an  heir 
loom  in  the  family,  was  already  bestowed 
upon  the  chair  by  the  side  of  the  bed  in  that 
same  front  spare  room,  and  a  set  of  china  tea 
service,  which  had  been  given  by  one  of  the 
aunts  of  the  family,  had  been  nicely  and  care 
fully  packed  in  a  large  basket,  each  piece  of 
the  set  properly  wrapped  up  in  newspaper,  and 


7<D       THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

the  whole  ready  for  immediate  and  safe  trans 
portation.  , 

"  Do  as  you  please,  my  pet,"  was  his  loving 
reply,  as  Marian's  little  hands  were,  meta 
phorically,  spread  over  the  whole  array  of 
silver- ware  ;  "  and  now  I  '11  tell  you  what  I've 
been  doing  !" 

How  the  little  lady's  face  glowed  all  over 
with  expectation  as  he  enumerated  the  arti- 
cles^  which  he  had  bought;  and  how  cheer 
fully  expectant  she  looked  when  she  inquired 
when  they  would  be  read}'  !  And  how  dear 
Mamma  volunteered  the  approbation  of  a  lov 
ing  mother  at  the  selection  he  had  made,  and 
added  : 

"  Your  piano,  dear ;  how  nice  it  would  be 
if  you  could  have  it  when  you  went  into  the 
house !" 

Harry  thought  the  piano,  just  then,  more 
of  a  luxury  than  a  necessity,  and  he  ventured 
to  say  so. 

There  was  a  look  of  mild  reproach  from 
Marian,  nothing  more,  and  they  dropped  the 
subject;  nevertheless  Marian,  at  Mamma's 
suggestion,  packed  up  her  music,  and  pre- 


A  DETERMINATION. 


7. 


pared  to  send  it  with  the  rest  of  the  things, 
to  have  it  ready  when  the  piano  did  come,  at 
least. 

There  were  several  cigars  smoked,  and  sev 
eral  interesting  arguments  upon  what  was  at 
once  necessary,  in  which  Harry  advised,  and 
Marian  suggested,  and  Mamma  decided,  dur 
ing  the  evening;  a  visit  to  the  New  Home 
next  morning,  was  agreed  upon  ;  a  list  of 
commissions  to  be  executed  and  things  to  see 
about  was  carefully  written  out  in  pencil,  and 
given  to  Mr.  Honeydew,  all  of  which  he 
promised  to  attend  to  most  faithfully,  and 
when  Marian  laid  her  head  upon  her  hus 
band's  shoulder,  and  he  kissed  her  good 
night,  as  they  retired  to  rest  in  that  front 
spare  room  at  dear  Mamma's,  he  saw,  in  his 
own  mind,  that  he  had  work  to  do,  and  meant 
to  do  it,  with  a  hearty  will. 


CHAPTER   V. 

THE   HONEYDEWS   "AT   HOME." 

THOROUGHLY  convinced  that  a  new  page 
in  his  life  had  been  turned  over,  and  not  a 
little  influenced  by  the  delightfully  assuming 
advice  of  dear  Mamma,  and  even  more  assur 
ed  and  more  enthusiastically  encouraged  by 
the  smiling  face  of  his  darling  little  wife, 
Harry  Honeydew  grew  impatient  at  the  de 
lay  of  a  day  or  two  in  getting  into  the  New 
Home.  He  had  duly  purchased  the  furniture, 
the  glass-workers  had  hurried  up  the  mono- 
grammic  embellishments  upon  the  decanters, 
goblets  and  wine-glasses ;  the  exchanging  of 
the  useless  ladles  had  been  well  contrived 
and  carried  out — with  a  liberal  deduction  as 
to  weight  of  the  precious  metal  in  the  trans 
formation  into  spoons  and  sundries — and  by 
Saturday  morning,  the  new  residence  was 


A   GOOD    PROSPECT.  73 

ready  for  occupation  by  the  young  house 
keepers. 

The  establishment  was,  in  fact,  ready  on 
Friday,  but  dear  little  Marian  Honeydew 
was  commendably  superstitious ;  so  Harry 
went  up  to  the  house  on  Friday  evening, 
lighted  the  gas  in  every  room,  took  the  exact 
shade  and  the  general  effect  of  the  blue  carpet 
in  the  pet  bed-chamber  into  his  mind's  eye, 
went  through  the  house  from  garret  to  cellar, 
and  when  he  locked  the  front  door,  and  put 
the  key  in  his  overcoat  pocket,  he  was  en 
chanted  with  the  prospect. 

Some  of  the  articles  purchased  had  exceed 
ed  his  probable  figures  of  their  estimated 
cost — but  that  was  of  HtHe  consequence,  they 
were  all  so  pretty,  and  the  neat  box  of  a 
house  was  so  complete. 

He  amused  himself,  on  that  same  Friday 
evening,  by  going  through  the  kitchen  closets 
and  the  dining-room  pantry,  and  noting  defi 
ciencies,  according  to  his  particular  idea  of 
what  the  contents  should  be. 

Dear  Mamma  had  bargained  for  the  balance 
of  coal  which  the  departing  family  were  prc- 
4 


74       THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

pared  to  leave  in  the  cellar.  It  was  some 
what  slaty,  even  a  decided  mixture  of  red 
and  white  ash,  and  was  piled  up  against  one 
of  the  walls  in  such  a  manner  as  to  leave  the 
number* of  tons  a  nice  question  for  an  expert; 
but  it  would  do,  and  was  taken  at  a  supposed 
amount  and  at  the  current  price,  an  advance 
of  nearly  a  dollar  a  ton  upon  its  cost  when 
put  in. 

He  surprised  the  grocer  at  the  corner  by  a 
very  large  order  for  sugar,  coffee,  tea,  flour, 
nuts,  raisins,  spices,  and  all  that  he  had  known 
his  mother  to  use  in  making  nice  things  for 
the  table,  and  ended  his  evening's  work  by  a 
trip,  as  suggested  by  Marian,  over  to  the  res 
idence  of  the  neat,  "tidy  girl,  who  had  been 
engaged  as  cook,  and  left  word  for  the  girl  to 
be  at  the  house  at  ten  o'clock  the  next  morn 
ing,  to  meet  Mrs.  Honeydew,  all  of  which  a 
friend,  on  duty  at  the  room,  faithfully  prom 
ised  that  she  should  do.  And  the  rest  of  the 
housekeeping  matters  he  left  to  his  wife's  dis 
cretion  and  industry. 

With  what  good  humor  and  absence  of  re 
gret  at  the  parting,  he  figured  up  and  paid 


A  NEW   DEPARTURE.  75 

his  bill  at  the Hotel,  we  will  not  pretend 

to  say.  All  the  worldly  goods  and  posses 
sions,  which  were  necessary  to  their  Hotel 
existence,  had  been  packed  up  in  trunks  and 
sent  up  to  the  new  house  ;  so  there  was  little 
for  our  good  young  people  to  do  but  to  walk 
out  and  away.  Marian  took  a  street-car  for 
the  trip  up  town,  and  Harry  a  stage  on  the 
Avenue,  to  go  down  to  the  office,  agreeing  to 
"  come  home  to  dinner  "  at  five  o'clock,  sharp. 

And  what  a  day  that  was,  in  Wall  Street, 
for  him  !  There  was  a  delightful  expectation 
in  waiting  for  the  closing  of  the  stock-boards 
which  lent  a  zest  to  the  day's  transactions, 
and  gave  him  the  privilege  of  impatience  for 
the  moment  that  he  should  meet  his  wife  at 

the  house  in  Street,  so  convenient  to 

the  Park. 

Arrived  there,  he  placed  the  latch-key  to 
the  door,  but  pretty  hands  were  on  the  knob 
inside  ;  the  door  was  opened,  and  a  somewhat 
tired  but  pretty  face  looked  out  at  him  from 
behind  the  partly  opened  vestibule  glasses, 
and  the  kiss  with  which  she  greeted  him,  the 
soft,  warm  pressure  of  her  delightfully  plump 


?6      THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

arms,  as  she  almost  stood  on  tip -toe  and 
clasped  him  around  the  neck,  were  worth 
more  to  him,  just  then,  than  the  rent  of  the 
house  for  a  year,  or  the  cost  of  the  furniture. 

"  Your  girl  came,  darling?"  was  the  inquiry," 
when    the   refreshing   connubial   pleasantries 
had  momentarily  subsided. 

"  Yes ;  and  she  is  getting  dinner  ready. 
I've  a  nice  steak,  a  broiled  chicken,  all  kinds 
of  vegetables,  and  a  pudding,  and •" 

How  much  longer  Marian  would  have  made 
her  list  of  the  good  things  provided  and  pre 
paring,  it  would  be  hard  to  say,  but  she  was 
interrupted  in  her  recital  by  the  removal  of 
his  overcoat,  and  by  his  wistful  look  at  the 
prettily  carpeted  stairway,  leading  up  to  the 
room  with-the  cheval-glass  bureau,  the  black- 
walnut  and  white  marble,  and  the  blue-and- 
white  carpet. 

At  full  length  upon  the  bed,  a  few  moments 
after,  Harry  Honeydew  took  in  the  whole 
room  at  a  single  glance.  There  was  the  air 
of  feminine  accomplishment  in  housekeeping 
neatness  pervading  the  apartment.  All  the 
little  ornaments,  (blue,  of  course,)  were  array- 


ROSE-TINTS   OF   LIFE.  77 

ed  upon  the  bureau,  each  piece  standing  upon 
its  own  particular  toilet-mat,  worked  in  blue 
and  white,  and  the  ivory-handled  brushes  were 
in  their  places,  and  the  room  was  thoroughly 
"  to  rights."  Mrs.  Honeydew  had  worked 
hard  during  the  day,  so  he  inwardly  resolved 
to  see  things  with  her  eyes,  and  to  appreciate 
what  she  had  been  doing  to  make  him  happy, 
and  to  make  his  home  pleasant. 

There  was  the  most  eminently  just  appre 
ciation  between  them  that  there  could  have 
been  with  any  two  people.  Harry  was  proud 
of  what  Marian  had  done,  and  Marian  was 
pleased  at  what  he  had  provided  for  her ;  the 
rose-tints  of  their  new  married  life  seemed  to 
glow  with  an  intensity  of  color  which  gave  a 
new  love- phase  to  their  existence,  and,  while 
the  rose-tints  were  thus  glowing,  there  was 
the  sound  of  a  silver-toned  bell  from  below 
stairs. 

One  of  the  wedding  presents  had  given 
forth  to  their  ear  its  first  tintinnabulations  in 
its  legitimate  sphere  of  sound,  and  into  the 
dining-room  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  swept 
with  the  grace  of  consummate  ease  and  the 


78       THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

justly  delightful  "expectancy  of  the  moment 
— each  one  confident  of  some  new  sur 
prise. 

There  was  a  slight  odor  of  new  furniture 
in  the  room ;  there  was  the  unmistakable 
smell  of  black- walnut,  freshly  oiled  ;  but  the 
white  satin-damask  cloth  hung  in  the  most 
proper  sort  of  folds,  arranged  by  Marian's 
hands,  and  the  table  looked  prettily  in  its  set 
tings  of  real  silver  and  sparkling  new  china — 
the  dishes  which  "  belonged  to  the  house " 
had  not  yet  arrived — with  the  vegetables. 

'T  was  a  traditionary  part  of  Mrs.  Honey- 
dew's  education  to  affect  a  "  style "  upon 
every  possible  occasion,  and  therefore  she 
seated  herself  at  the  foot  of  the  table,  and 
placed  Harry  at  the  head,  and  awaited  the 
appearance  of  the  new  cook,  who,  for  the 
nonce,  was  maid  of  all  work,  in  addition  to 
her  other  duties. 

The  expectation  with  which  she  was  waited 
for  was  somewhat  comical — would  have  been 
to  an  old  housekeeper — and  the  door  leading 
to  the  hall  was  closed,  so  that  there  was  noth 
ing  to  interfere  with  the  sound  of  the  dumb- 


ELLEN.  79 

waiter,  which  came  up  with  the  least  possible 
bump,  and  with  a  rattling  of  dishes,  from 
below. 

Next  there  was  a  knock  at  the  door,  a 
delicate  uncertain  sort  of  knock,  at  which 
Marian  smiled.  Harry  looked  down  at  his 
plate,  tried  to  appear  like  the  head  of  a  house 
hold,  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  answered,  in  a  del 
icate,  sweet  voice  of  pleasant  assurance  : 

"  Come  in,  Ellen  !" 

So  Ellen  came  in,  slightly  abashed,  and  with 
a  sidelong  glance  at  the  gentleman  of  the 
house — a  very  pardonable  curiosity,  which  is 
the  privilege  of  all  new  servants. 

Ellen,  by  the  way,  was  not  bad-looking ; 
her  face  was  a  little  highly  colored,  attributa 
ble  to  two  causes — the  fire  in  the  range,  and 
a  pardonable  confusion  for  the  moment ;  but 
she  had  put  on  a  clean  white  apron,  which  she 
had  tucked  up  at  one  side  in  a  jaunty  manner ; 
she  was  not  light-footed,  but  that  may  have 
been  from  the  heels  upon  her  shoes,  which 
were  heavier  than  need  be  for  dining-room 
service,  and  she  walked  about,  thoroughly 
like  a  girl  who  was  not  afraid  to  work. 


80      THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

She  may  have  been  a  little  nervous  in  the 
handling  of  the  plates,  and  the  vegetable 
dishes  were  set  down  upon  the  table  with  a 
decided  emphasis,  as  Ellen's  face  flushed  at 
each  emphatic  movement,  and  she  did  con 
trive  to  put  the  potatoes  in  front  of  Harry, 
alongside  the  carving-knife  and  fork,  and  to  set 
down  the  chicken  before  Marian,  between  the 
table  spoons,  and  very  close  to  the  butter- 
plate. 

"  I'm  not  much  on  waitin',  ma'am,"  she  said, 
in  apology,  noticing  the  quick  glance  of  in 
quisitive  surprise  which  Mr.  Honeydew  could 
not  avoid  betraying. 

Marian  waited  a  moment,  and  then,  in  a 
mild  manner,  gave  her  directions,  and  the 
dishes  were  placed  in  their  proper  positions. 
Ellen  removed  the  covers,  and  vanished 
through  the  open  door. 

To  give  the  girl  credit,  the  meat  was  nicely 
cooked,  seasoned  properly,  and  the  chicken 
was  broiled  without  much  smoking,  while  the 
vegetables  were  fairly  done,  and  served  with 
out  more  than  the  ordinary  "  mussing  up." 
.  "  Well,  darling,  here  we  are,  and  I  suppose 


FIRST  VISITORS.  8 1 

that  you  are  tired,"  ventured  Harry,  between 
chicken  and  steak  ;  "  but  your  ne\v  girl  seems 
unsteady,  pet." 

Marian  thought  so,  too,  but  was  only  too 
willing  to  make  excuses,  and  relieved  the  girl 
from  any  additional  exhibitions  of  nervous 
ness  by  placing  the  dishes  on  the  dumb-waiter 
and  receiving  the  dessert  from  below. 

And  so,  with  the  wine-sauce  and  pudding, 
Harry  Honeydew  was  favorably  impressed 
with  the  result  of  their  initial  dinner,  and  was 
glad  to  welcome  dear  Mamma  and  one  of  the 
sisters-in-law,  who  came  in  just  as  the  dessert 
was  finished. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

AN  EVENING'S  EXPERIENCE. 

A  WHOLE  week  at  housekeeping,  and  with 
an  experience  which  had  some  variety  in  it, 
found  the  Honeydews,  the  next  Sunday 
morning,  after  their  breakfast,  in  a  peculiarly 
chaotic  state  of  mind.  So  well  had  matters 
progressed  since  their  outset,  that  Marian  felt 
herself  already  to  be  a  pattern  for  all  young 
housekeepers.  Several  of  the  defects  in  their 
establishment  had  been  remedied  during  her 
seven  days  of  superintendence  ;  dear  Mamma 
had  been  almost  omnipresent,  and  it  became 
a  vexed  question  with  Harry  whether  she  or 
Marian  ran  the  household,  while  the  assertion 

• 

of  her  certain  and  indisputable  rights  in  the 
kitchen  had  made  a  breach  between  the  neat 
and  tidy  Ellen  and  the  dear  good  lady,  who 
had  reared  Marian  from  infancy  to  woman 
hood,  and  still  deemed  it  a  duty  to  hold  sur- 


FAULT-FINDING.  83 

veillance  over  her  domestic  arrangements. 
Already  there  were  the  signs  of  a  coming 
storm  ;  the  mercury  in  their  household  baro 
meter  had  alternately  risen  and  fallen,  till  the 
state  of  the  weather  within  doors  became 
very  uncertain. 

Ellen,  who  claimed  to  know  all  that  was 
necessary  in  her  department,  thought  she 
knew  enough  for  Mrs.  Honeydew,  but  was 
quite  deficient  in  many  things,  when  weighed 
by  the  scale  of  knowledge  adopted  by  dear 
Mamma ;  and  so,  Ellen  had  already  com 
menced  to  find  fault. 

She  found  fault  with  the  range  ;  she  found 
fault  with  the  meat  sent  home  from  the 
butcher's  ;  she  had  not  the  necessary  amount 
of  kitchen  utensils  at  hand  to  work  with ; 
there  were  too  many  dishes,  required  at  din 
ner,  and  there  was  too  much  company.  She 
had  agreed,  she  said,  to  cook  for  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Honeydew,  but  she  had  not  agreed  to 
cook  and  serve  victuals  for  four  or  five  others  ; 
and  poor  little  Marian  tired  her  dainty  feet 
more  than  once  during  the  day,  running  up 
and  down  stairs,  because  Ellen  would  not 


84       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

answer  her  through  the  speaking-tube,  and 
had  actually  stopped  up  the  end  of  the  tube 
with  paper,  so  as  to  be  unable  to  hear  the 
signals  which  she  did  not  intend  to  answer. 

In  one  short  week  there  had  been  a  theo 
retical  change  of  position.  Ellen  looked  to 
Mrs.  Honey  dew  for  wages,  but  evidently  not 
for  orders,  and  when  a  telegram  came  from 
down  town,  on  Saturday  afternoon,  stating 
that  Tom  Delivery,  one  of  his  fellow-brokers, 
was  coming  up  with  Harry  to  spend  Sunday, 
Marian  had  a  good  crying-spell  in  her  own 
pretty  room,  and  laid  her  dear  little  head, 
brown  hair  and  all,  upon  the  white  marble 
top  of  the  cheval-glass  bureau,  in  silent  agony. 

Her  eyes  were  red,  and  her  face  looked 
haggard  and  careworn,  as  the  gentlemen  came 
home.  The  pretty  dress  which  she  wore  was 
becoming,  and  her  hair  turned  back  from  her 
forehead,  with  the  bow  of  blue  ribbon  on  the 
left  side,  was  simple  and  pretty  ;  but  there 
was  a  world  of  silent  sorrow  in  her  looks, 
and  the  smile  with  which  she  greeted  her 
husband  was  a  forced  one. 

The  remembrance  that  she  had  suggested 


ANXIETY.  85 

the  change,  that  she  had  engineered  the 
house-taking  and  the  experiment,  was  suffi 
cient  in  itself  to  support  her  pride,  and  she 
welcomed  her  guests,  despite  the  war  which 
was  waging  in  the  kitchen,  and  put  the 
"  Mumm's  Extra  Dry  "  upon  the  ice  with  her 
own  hands,  even  with  the  uncertainty  staring 
her  in  the  face,  of  how  the  dinner  might  be 
sent  upstairs. 

"  Ye  '11  not  do  this  much  longer,  ma'am,  I  '11 
be  sworn,"  said  Ellen,  as  the  orders  were 
given  what  to  cook,  and  at  what  time  to  serve 
the  dinner ;  "  there 's  no  rest  for  a  hard- 
workin'  girl,  anyhow  !" 

Marian  trembled  with  anxiety  when  the 
dishes  were  sent  up,  and  there  were  several 
mistakes  in  giving  out  the  sugar,  while  she 
watched  the  form  of  the  indignant  Ellen  mov 
ing  around  the  table,  and  there  was  a  sigh  of 
relief  when  the  dessert  had  been  finished,  and 
the  three  had  adjourned  to  the  reception- 
room. 

It  was  a  gala-night  at  one  of  the  theatres,  the 
grandest  night  of  a  Shakspearian  revival,  and 
Tom  Delivery  proposed  that  they  should  go. 


86       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

Glad  as  she  would  have  been,  under  ordi 
nary  circumstances,  Mrs.  Honeydew  trembled 
at  the  prospect  of  going,  and  yet  dared  not 
refuse.  It  was  a  pleasant  evening — Saturday  ; 
they  could  have  a  late  breakfast  on  Sunday, 
and  neither  Tom  nor  Harry  would  take  "  no  " 
for  an  answer ;  so  she  surveyed  the  battle 
ground  in  the  kitchen,  found  Ellen  washing 
up  her  dishes,  and  they  left  her  in  charge 
of  the  house,  her  face  a  little  red,  perhaps 
from  crying,  and  still  busy  with  her  work. 

How  they  all  enjoyed  the  play,  how  there 
was  a  snug  half-bottle  at  Delmonico's,  and 
how  pleasant  the  City  looked  as  they  went 
home,  were  matters  of  little  importance ;  but, 
to  find  the  vestibule-door  locked  when  they 
arrived  home,  was  not  such  an  insignificant 
thing,  by  any  sort  of  reckoning. 

In  vain  Harry  tried  his  latch-key  ;  the  door 
was  secucely  fastened  upon  the  inside,  the 
bolts  shot,  the  window  as  securely  fastened 
as  the  door,  and  the  lights  were  burning  in 
the  hall,  and  casting  their  reflection,  through 
the  open  door,  into  the  reception-room. 

"  Locked  out,  old  fellow,  by  Jove !"   said 


LOCKED   OUT.  8/ 

Tom  Delivery,  laughing ;  "  better  try  the 
bell." 

Harry  Honeydew  tried  it,  and  at  the  second 
pull  at  the  handle,  he  sent  the  echoes  ringing 
through  the  house  from  garret  to  cellar. 

But  no  answer  came.  Whether  the  girl 
had  gone  out  or  not,  was  a  complete  mystery, 
and  the  whole  appearance  of  matters  at  No. 
—  East Street  began  to  be  serious. 

Tom  rapped  upon  the  door  with  his  cane, 
and  pulled  at  the  knob,  while  Harry  climbed 
over  the  side  of  the  stoop,  and  tried  the  win 
dow,  and  Marian  Honeydew  began  to  grow 
commendably  nervous. 

A  policeman,  upon  a  neighboring  beat, 
heard  the  noise,  and  came  leisurely  down  the 
street,  to  interview  the  locked-out  party.  He 
pulled  at  the  door,  and  rapped  upon  it  with 
his  club,  which  aroused  the  neighbors  ;  and 
at  the  modest  hour  of  one  o'clock  on  Sunday 
morning,  in  the  moonlight,  there  was  a  party 
of  four  arranged  upon  the  front  stoop,  like 
four  lads  about  playing  leap-frog,  the  police 
man  ahead,  scooping  down  with  his  eye  to 
the  keyhole. 


88       THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

Harry,  losing  his  good -nature,  uttered  a 
mild  oath. 

Tom  Delivery,  jolly  and  fun-loving  from 
the  Delmonico  wine,  and  disposed  to  make 
merry  of  his  friend's  predicament,  twitted 
Marian  upon  her  servants,  and  proposed  to 
force  an  entrance. 

The  policeman  examined  the  lower  door, 
found  it  fast,  saw  the  lights  shining  in  Mr. 
Honeyclew's  room  upstairs,  and  whispered, 
in  a  loud  aside  to  Harry,  just  as  several 
night-capped  and  uncapped  heads  appeared 
at  adjacent  windows,  and  inquisitive  faces 
were  discernible  in  the  moonlight: 

"  Burglars,  sir,  burglars  ;  they  're  cracking 
places  lively,  around  here,  this  month  !" 

Harry  had  no  time  to  quench  the  anti-bur 
glarious  ardor  of  that  policeman.  The  man 
began  a  second  sentence  with  the  word  "  Bur 
glar — "  standing  in  a  threatening  attitude, 
and  preparing  to  break  in  a  panel  of  the 
outer  door. 

Poor  little  Marian  !  Already  wrought  up 
to  their  highest  tension,  her  nerves  gave  way, 
and  as  the  last  word  uttered  by  the  policeman 


PATIENCE   AND   WINDOW-PANES.  89 

fell  upon  her  anxious  ears,  she-felt  a  sudden 
giddiness,  reeled,  and  sank  fainting  into  the 
arms  of  Mr.  Tom  Delivery,  who  was  standing 
behind  her,  in  the  leap-frog  order  of  posi 
tion. 

"  Hold  on,  officer !  Don't  smash  that  door ! 
Do  n't  you  see,  my  wife  has  fainted  ?"  shouted 
Honey  dew,  laying  his  hand  upon  the  arm  of 
the  intrusive  guardian  of  the  City's  peace, 
and  the  property  of  the  citizens  in  East  - 
Street  especially. 

But  the  policeman  had  no  milk  of  human 
kindness  flowing  in  his  heart,  or  in  hi? 
nature — particularly  towards  newly  married 
ladies,  who  went  out  o'  nights,  and  left  their 
houses  to  the  care  of  servants.  He  reached 
over  to  the  window  of  the  reception-room, 
and  crash  went  the  end  of  his  bdton  through 
the  pane  ;  he  then  sprang  over  to  the  sill, 
put  his  hand  inside,  and  sprung  the  patent 
fastening  at  the  top. 

This  was  too  much  for  Tom  Delivery.  He 
had  already  given  the  fainting  Marian  over 
to  her  husband's  arms,  and  when  he  saw  the 
evident  intention  of  the  officer  to  effect  a  for- 


90      THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

cible  entrance;  and  "  go  through  the  house," 
he  determined  not  to  follow,  but  to  precede 
him. 

The  numerous  windows  in  the  vicinity 
which  were  sent  up  with  a  bang,  the  several 
heads  which  were  exhibited  at  the  several 
windows,  looked  painfully  ludicrous  to  Mr. 
Harry  Honeydew,  who  held  his  wife  in  his 
arms,  and  was  busy  in  making  hurried  ex 
planations  to  the  neighbors,  while  his  friend 
Tom  was  crawling  into  the  reception-room, 
and  a  moment  after,  having  unlocked  the  ves 
tibule  and  outer  doors  and  admitted  the 
policeman,  assisted  Harry  to  carry  his  faint 
ing  wife  up  the  stone  steps. 

But  what  of  the  policeman  ?  That  man 
earned  promotion  for  his  daring,  certainly  ! 
There  wasn't  a  sign  of  a  burglar.  Every 
thing  was  just  as  they  had  left  it,  even  to 
some  of  the  dishes  on  the  dining-room  table, 
though  the  tea-spoons  were  scattered  along 
the  floor,  from  the  table  to  the  dumb-waiter, 
and  the  castor  had  been  upset,  so  that  the 
sweet  o*il  and  the  vinegar,  on  the  most  friendly 
terms  with  each  other,  had  traveled  down  to 


A  BRILLIANT  DINING-ROOM.  91 

the  new  carpet  by  parallel  lines,  over  the 
satin-damask  table-cloth. 

The  gas-lights  over  the  dining-room  table 
were  blazing  up  beyond  the  globes,  there 
was  an  excellent  head  of  gas  on,  for  it  was 
late  (or  rather,  early  Sunday  morning),  and 
Harry  laid  his  wife  down  upon  the  sofa  in  the 
reception-room,  and  Tom  assisted  him  in 
"  bringing  her  to,"  with  the  aid  of  ice-water, 
cologne-water,  and  friction  ;  while  the  ener 
getic  policeman  started  upstairs,  and  they 
could  hear  him  stamping  about  upon  the  floor 
above  them,  and  banging  the  bed-room  doors, 
as  though  it  were  necessary  to  make  the  most 
noise  possible,  to  give  notice  to  any  concealed 
housebreaker  of  his  intended  capture. 

Dear  little  Mrs.  Honeydew  opened  her 
pretty  dark  eyes,  and  started,  visibly,  as  she 
saw  Harry  bending  over  her,  and  Tom  De 
livery,  with  the  cologne-water  all  over  the 
facing  of  his  light  overcoat,  down  on  his  knees 
beside  her,  and  with  the  woman's  usual  cor 
rectness  in  such  cases,  she  began  to  ask  all 
sorts  of  questions,  with  "  Where  am  I  ?" 

A  few   words  of  explanation,  only  a  few, 


92       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

and  Mr.  Harry  Honeydew  evinced  an  anxiety 
about  the  anti-burglarious  policeman,  who  was, 
by  this  time,  suspiciously  quiet. 

He  said  nothing  to  Tom  that  might  alarm 
his  wife,  he  merely  nodded  in  a  knowing 
manner,  at  which  Tom  darted  upstairs,  into 
one  room,  and  out  again,  and  so  on  to  the 
top  floor. 

And  how,  Tom  Delivery  had  his  own  fun, 
uproarious  though  it  was,  for  the  moment, 
but,  fortunately,  not  audible  to  Marian's  sen 
sitive  ears. 

There  were  two  persons  in  one  of  the  up 
stairs  back  rooms — the  policeman,  in  uniform, 
and  the  neat,  tidy  girl,  Ellen,  in  a  not  alto 
gether  presentable  condition.  She  had  been 
lying  upon  her  bed  in  a  half  stupid  lethargy, 
while  a  tray  partly  filled  with  glass-ware, 
which,  for  some  unexplained  reason,  she  had 
carried  away  up  to  the  third  story,  was  upon 
the  floor,  the  new  monogram  goblets  broken, 
and  the  wine-glasses,  each  one  stemless  and 
shattered. 

"  Go  out  o'  this,  ye  dirthy  beast  iv  a  man, 
ye  !"  was  the  salute  which  Ellen  gave  to  Mr. 


"  MARTELL— 1840."  93 

Tom  Delivery,  as  he  thrust  his  head  into  the 
room,  dodging  a  blow  from  a  heavy  brogan 
thrown  at  him. 

The  energetic  policeman  was  silent  and 
contemplative. 

Ellen  was  seated  upon  the  bed,  partly  un 
dressed,  and,  in  a  most  blissful  state  of  semi- 
intoxication,  while  the  energetic  policeman 
stood  beside  her,  not  in  so  threatening  an 
attitude  as  he  had  assumed  upon  the  front 
stoop  a  few  moments  before. 

She  had  evidently  indulged  in  the  liquor 
during  the  early  part  of  the  evening,  as  a 
partly  emptied  bottle  of  "  Martell  — 1840" 
clearly  betrayed,  and  had,  in  her  drunken 
stupidity,  played  havoc  with  the  glass-ware, 
and  severely  damaged  the  table-cloth  and  car 
pet. 

The  new  discovery  about  the  new  girl  was 
broken  to  Mrs.  Honeydew  in  the  most  delicate 
terms.  Ellen  was  allowed  to  go  to  bed  quiet 
ly,  after  having  thrown  a  hair  brush,  and 
part  of  a  pitcher  of  water  at  Tom  .Deliv 
ery,  and  after  having  threatened  to  annihi 
late  dear  Mamma,  if  dear  Mamma  would 


94       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

only  be  good  enough  to  allow  herself  to  be 
caught. 

The  energetic  policeman  was  given  a  couple 
of  good  drinks  from  that  "  Martell — 1840" 
bottle,  a  good  cigar,  and  an  hour  later  there 
was  quiet  in  the  household,  even  in  the  third 
story  back  room,  where  Ellen  reposed  in 
peaceful  slumber. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

MR.   HONEYDEW   SETTLES  A   DIFFICULTY. 

WAS  it  Sunday  morning,  or  was  it  not? 
was  the  silent  question  which  Harry  Honey- 
dew  asked  himself,  late  in  the  day,  for  the 
events  of  the  evening  had  drawn  the  veil 
from  the  picture  of  his  suddenly-acquired 
household  experience,  and  Marian  had  roused 
him  from  his  slumbers  —  tired,  sleepy,  and 
vexed  as  he  was — by  lying  sobbing  on  his  left 
shoulder. 

He  kissed  her,  lovingly,  to  be  sure ;  but 
with  the  kiss  there  was  just  a  little  shadow  of 
doubt,  and  so  he  asked  the  very  pertinent 
question  of  Marian,  what  was  to  be  done 
about  breakfast,  and  placed  his  ear  to  the 
speaking-tube.  Whether  the  paper  had  been 
removed  from  it,  or  whether  his  strong  blast 
of  breath  down  its  full  length,  with  all 
the  power  of  his  lungs,  had  cleared  the 

(95) 


96       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

tube,  there  certainly  was  a  faint  noise  from 
below. 

"  Ellen  !" 

This  tirne  the  summons  was  from  the  mas 
ter  of  the  house  himself,  and  it  was  sounded 
with  an  air  of  decidedly  actual,  and  not  con 
structive  or  doubtful,  authority. 

"  Yis,  surf  came  sounding  up  through 
the  tube,  sufficiently  loud  for  Marian  to  hear, 
as  she  was  lyin&  with  her  eyes  half  closed, 
and  the  eyelids  red,  from  crying. 

"  Are  you  getting  breakfast  ready  ?" 

"  Yis,  sur/" 

"  That 's  good  news,  darling  ;  come,  get 
tip  !" 

No  more  was  said  by  either  of  the  two, 
until  both  were  dressed,  and  then,  down 
stairs  to  the  library  they  went,  to  find  their 
friend  Tom  nicely  seated  in  the  big  chair, 
poring  over  the  morning  papers,  with  one 
eye  on  the  glass  door  which  shut  off  the  din 
ing-room. 

There  was  a  shadow-pantomime  being  en 
acted  behind  the  ground-glass  panes.  Ellen 
was  the  only  figure  in  the  exhibition  ;  but 


THAT  BREAKFAST.  97 

Ellen's  shadow  was  unsteady.  A  second  fig 
ure  was  soon  added  to  the  picture,  that  of 
Mrs.  Honey  dew,  and  then  the  two  figures 
vanished,  and  the  lady  of  the  house  called  the 
gentlemen  in  to  a  breakfast  of  which  Marian 
was  heartily  ashamed,  the  beefsteak  being 
burned  to  a  crisp,  the  eggs  watery,  and  what 
was  intended  to  be  pommes  de  terre  &  la  Lyon- 
naise,  being  nothing  less  than  a  mixture  of  poor 
ly  cooked  potatoes,  and  about  as  much  onion  as 
there  was  of  potato  in  the  general  composi 
tion. 

There  was  a  silent  meal,  and  at  its  close, 
with  a  face  expressing  more  of  sorrow  than  of 
despair,  Marian  remained  seated  at  the  table, 
while  Harry  and  Tom  went  off  to  the  library, 
and  then  Marian  went  to  the  kitchen. 

There  was  a  lapse  of  only  a  few  moments, 
but  to  Harry  Honey  dew  they  were  like  the 
prologue  to  a  sensation  drama,  to  which  drama, 
he  had  not  the  least  doubt,  was  then  being  giv 
en  a  dress  rehearsal  in  the  apartment  below. 

"Harry  —  " 

"Tom  —  " 

The  two  gentlemen  were  looking  at  each 
5 


98       THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

other  through  the  smoke  wreaths  from  their 
cigars,  and  Tom  Delivery  was  smiling  at 
Harry  Honeydew,  with  a  smile  which  recalled 
some  of  the  pleasant  hours  of  his  bachelor 
days,  when  they  smoked  together  in  Harry's 
bachelor  apartments  at  home,  and  the  cares 
of  the  household  were  upon  his  mother's 
shoulders,  and  not  upon  his. 

"  Things  are  mixed,  I  take  it,  old  fellow, 
but  never  mind — these  things  will  happen, 
you  know." 

"  Yes,  but  it 's  infernally  annoying,  and  this 
'jewel  of  a  girl,'  is  one  of  my  respected  mother- 
in-law's  selection — that  is,  she  bosses  the  job, 
and  Marian, — bless  her  dear  little  heart, — 
submits." 

Just  at  this  moment,  there  was  a  suddenly- 
conceived  example  of  that  submission  ;  there 
was  the  sound  of  hurried  feet  in  the  hall,  and 
into  the  room — her  face  white  with  indigna 
tion — rushed  the  lady  whose  dear  little  heart 
was  so  fervently  blessed,  and  after  her,  the 
girl,  with  her  face  about  as  red  as  a  toy  bal 
loon,  in  an  indefinite  state  of  semi-faded  col 
lapse. 


MISS  O'CONNOR  INDIGNANT.  99 

"  I  tell  ye,  ma'am,  I  won't  stand  it,  an'  that 's 
all  about  it, — but  ye  '11  pay  me  for  the  month, 
ye  will.  I  know  my  business  ma'am,  and  I  '11 
teach  ye  yours — Fll  teach  ye  yours — I  'LL  TEACH 
YE  YOURS,  I  WILL  !  " 

The  emphasis  of  italics  and  "  small  caps  " 
will  not  serve  to  convey  an  idea  of  the  vehe 
ment  expression  which  Ellen  O'Connor,  the 
neat,  tidy  girl,  gave  to  her  words. 

She  looked  formidable,  as  she  stood  in  the 
hall,  with  the  sleeve  upon  her  left  arm  rolled 
up  about  the  elbow,  and  her  hands  being  hur 
riedly  wiped  upon  her  apron. 

"  Why,  Marian,  pet — what  is  all  this  row — 
what  has  this  brute  of  a  girl  been  doing?" 
asked  Harry,  as  he  received  the  frightened 
form  of  his  wife  in  his  arms,  and  held  her  from 
the  infuriated  lady  from  below  stairs. 

"  Brute  is  it — brute  is  it,  ye  beast  ye  !  "  re 
torted  Miss  Ellen  O'Connor,  shaking  her  fist 
before  Mr.  Harry  Honeydew's  face,  but  at  a 
safe  and  respectful  distance ;  "  I  '11  teach  ye  to 
call  an  honest  workin'  woman  out  of  her  name 
— 1  will !  Ye  'd  bctther  get  a  wife  what  knows 
something,  before  ye  talk  to  the  loikes  o'  me. 


IOO    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

I  'm  going,  d'  ye  hear  ?     I  'm  goin',  an'  I  want 
my  wages !  " 

'  Twas  Sunday  morning,  and  just  after  break 
fast  ;  but  even  the  remembrance  of  the  day 
the  hour,  his  wife,  Tom  Delivery,  and  all  the 
circumstances,  did  not  prevent  Harry  from 
making  a  quick  reply. 

Miss  Ellen  O'Connor  had  spoken  dispar 
agingly  of  his  wife,  and  with  anger  upon  his 
handsome  countenance,  Harry  retorted  : 

"  D  —  n  you,  and  your  wages !  You  want 
to  go,  and  you  shall !  Here,  Tom,  take  care 
of  Marian  ;  I  '11  settle  with  this  young  woman, 
and  then  I  '11  settle  her !  " 

It  was  different  from  any  of  the  difficulties 
which  Harry  Honeydew  had  experienced ; 
he  knew  how  to  squirm  out  of  a  difficulty  in 
Wall  street ;  he  could  see  his  way  through  a 
corner  in  North  Western,  or  a  flurry  in  Rock 
Island  ;  but,  when  it  came  to  dealing  with  an 
Irish  servant-girl,  who  had  been  making  free 
with  his  best  Martell  brandy,  he  was  hardly 
up  to  the  occasion. 

Still,  he  had  work  to  do,  and  must  do  it; 
he  stopped  Ellen  O'Connor's  volubility  by  a 


A  SERVANT  LESS.  IOI 

peremptory  order  to  hold  her  tongue,  called 
her  upstairs  into  his  room,  refused  to  hear 
any  recital  of  the  whys  and  wherefores,  and 
paid  her  off  in  full  for  the  whole  month's  ser 
vice,  into  which  she  was  not  yet  a  full  week 
advanced.  , 

Bag,  baggage,  and  bandboxes,  on  that 
bright  Sunday  morning,  with  her  best  dress, 
just  "  done  up,"  with  a  plentiful  allowance  of 
Glencove  starch  in  the  stiffening,  she  went 
out  on  the  sidewalk,  slamming  the  door  after 
her ;  and  Harry  Honeydew  relighted  his 
cigar  in  the  library,  Marian  hid  her  face  in 
her  hands  and  had  a  pretty  effective  crying- 
spell,  and  Tom  Delivery  whistled. 


After  all,  the  difficulty  which  had  culmi 
nated  in  the  dismissal  of  Cook  Number  One  was 
not  such  a  desperate  matter.  The  effect  upon 
Marian  had  been  to  leave  Harry  and  Tom  to 
enjoy  their  serenity  of  mind  and  talk  over  the 
result  of  the  evening's  incidents,  while  she 
quickly  rode  down  to  dear  Mamma's,  and 
came  back  home  reinforced  by  one  of  her  sis 
ters,  who  claimed  to  know  something  about 


IO2    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

getting  up  a  dinner.  The  accident  of  having 
a  friend  to  spend  Sunday  with  them  had 
placed  little  Mrs.  Honeydew  upon  her  mettle ; 
•she  found  that,  while  she  knew  something 
about  cooking  in  the  theory,  she  was  deficient 
in  the  practice,  and  after  an  advice  with  dear 
Mamma,  had  taken  her  sister  Annie  up  to 
the  house  with  her,  and  the  two  household 
beauties  went  to  work  in  the  kitchen,  banish 
ing  the  gentlemen  to  the  rest  of  the  house 
until  dinner  should  be  set  a-cooking. 

To  have  seen  the  peeling  of  the  potatoes, 
and  the  washing  of  celery,  and  the  preparing 
of  a  certain  piece  of  veal,  which  they  proposed 
to  stuff  and  roast,  would  have  been  as  good  as 
the  making  of  a  trick-dinner  in  a  Ravel  panto 
mime  revived.  What  little  either  of  the  girls 
knew  of  cooking  was  fully  developed  and  re 
quired.  The  vegetables  were  fairly  done  at 
the  beginning,  but  being  compelled  to  wait 
upon  the  meat — which  had  been  placed  in  an 
oven  with  every  damper  which  turned  the 
heat  into  the  oven  fully  reversed — the  vegeta 
bles  became  soggy,  tasteless  and  watery,  and 
the  meat  would  n  't  get  brown,  and  would  look 


AN  AFFECTIONATE   INQUIRY.  103 

as  though  it  had  been  hung  out  in  the  rain 
upon  the  exposed  side  of  an  outhouse,  until 
after  four  o'  clock. 

"  Dear?"  said  Harry,  from  the  head  of  the 
stairway. 

"  Darling,"  replied  Mrs.  Honeydew  from 
below,  for  they  had  a  better  right  now  to  be 
affectionate,  and  Marian  had  more  reason 
to  desire  an  exhibition  of  affection:  "What 
is  it?" 

"  Dinner,  darling,  if  you  please." 

But  the  lady  addressed  in  such  words  of  en 
dearment  did  not  happen  to  please,  and  so  the 
boys  were  summoned  to  the  kitchen  ;  Harry 
trifled  with  the  dampers,  Tom  flirted  with 
bright- faced  Annie,  and  nearly  spilled  over 
the  turnips  and  the  sauce  which  had  been 
made  for  the  pudding.  Mrs.  Honeydew 
conceded  that  she  was  clearly  nonplussed  at 
the  housekeeping  enigma,  and  they  finally 
sat  down  to  potatoes  (soggy),  turnips  (wa 
tery),  beefsteak  (very  crisp  and  very  smoky), 
a  pudding  (too  sweet  by  half),  sauce  (ver^ 
stiff  in  good  old  sherry),  and  tea  (just  about 
right). 


IO4    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

Shall  we  say,  in  trutk,  that  Marian  was  glad 
the  day  was  over  ? 

Shall  we  say  that  Harry  had  determined  to 
try  his  hand  at  servant-hunting  the  next  day, 
and  provide  both  cook  and  waitress  ? 

Shall  we  say  that  Mr.  Thomas  Delivery  in 
wardly  congratulated  himself  that  he  was  some 
months  off  from  the  fulfillment  of  his  engage 
ment  with  Emma  Coupon,  the  presumptive 
heiress  of  West street  ? 

Shall  we  say  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Honeydew 
earned  the  meals,  (such  as  they  were,)  that 
they  had  eaten  ? 

All  four  queries  may  be  answered  in  a  few 
words ;  Harry  Honeydew  had  decided  to 
choose  for  himself,  and  had  ordered  an  early 
breakfast  from  a  restaurant. 


CHAPTER   VIII. 

A   RAY  OF   SUNSHINE. 

"  IT  's  rather  a  bad  mornin',  sir,  to  'ave  a 
good  hexibition,  sir ;  they  does  n't  hall  come 
here  a  Monday  ; "  was  the  suggestion  of  a 
ruddy-faced  Englishman,  counting  out  the 
change  from  a  five  dollar  bill,  and  handing 
Harry  Honeydew  a  printed  ticket,  on  which, 
in  a  blank  space,  his  name  had  been  filled  up, 
and  on  the  obverse  side  of  the  ticket  THE 
BEARER  was  guaranteed  the  choice  of  THE 
OFFICE,  for  three  months. 

The  balmy  Briton  with  the  close-cut  whis 
kers,  the  plaid  neck-tie,  and  the  little  round- 
topped  hat,  was  the  chief  of  the  Bureau 
which  undertook  to  provide  servants  well- 
recommended,  and  Honeydew  had  briefly 
stated  his  wants  as  follows :  a  cook,  who  knew 
her  business ;  a  waitress  and  chamber-maid, 
who  knew  one  dish  from  the  other. 
5* 


106    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

The  office  was  not  full,  and  the  applicants, 
seated  in  a  row  on  either  side  of  the  room, 
looked  at  him  as  a  "green  un,"  while  he  look 
ed  at  them. 

"  Maggie  Murphy  !"  said  the  proprietor,  in^ 
a  tone  of  supreme  authority. 

And  Maggie  Murphy  came  forward.  She 
was  a  bright-looking  girl,  neatly  dressed,  and 
did  not  wear  a  green  bow  at  her  neck,  nor 
had  she  a  crimson  ribbon  on  her  hat. 

Maggie  Murphy  claimed  to  know  how  to 
cook  ;  she  had  a  handful  of  recommendations 
which  she  handed  to  Harry,  which  he  did  not 
read  ;  and  stated  that  her  reason  for  leaving 
her  last  place  was,  that  the  family  had  "  gone 
into  the  country."  Harry  thought,  mean 
while,  that  "  the  country,"  must  be  a  self-ap 
pointed  Paradise  for  the  fatigued  housewives 
of  New  York.  She  could  wash  and  iron,  had 
no  objection  to  a  young  mistress ;  had  no 
doubt  she  would  suit  the  lady,  if  the  lady 
would  suit  her ;  she  did  not  ask  about  station 
ary  tubs,  and  where  the  coal  was  kept ;  and 
so,  Maggie  Murphy  was  engaged  and  de 
parted  from  the  office  with  all  her  worldly 


MAGGIE  MURPHY.  IO/ 

goods  in  a  small  brown-paper  bundle,  tied 
with  a  piece  of  white  tape,  the  full  name  and 
direction  of  Mrs.  Honeydew's  residence  upon 
a  card,  and  the  money  for  her  car  fare,  in  her 
left  hand,  her  right  being  occupied  with  her 
bundle  (and  a  parasol). 

The  attentive  Englishman  was  very  polite  ; 
he  would  send  up  a  waitress  by  one  o'clock, 
and  knew  just  what  Mrs.  Honeydew  wanted, 
and  he  knew  where  to  send  for  a  girl  who 
had  lived  out  with  people  with  whom  he  was 
acquainted ;  so  Harry  paid  another  dollar- 
and-a-half  for  a  choice  of  chambermaids,  and 
went  down  town  rejoicing,  to  send  a  note  up 
to  Marian,  stating  what-  he  had  done,  and 
mildly  suggesting  that  if  dear  Marnma  were 
left  out  of  the  question  entirely,  the  result 
might  be  more  satisfactory. 

There  need  be  no  discription  of  Miss  Mag 
gie  Murphy's  arrival  at  the  house  up  town. 
Mrs.  Honeydew  was  waiting  for  her,  and  so 
was  dear  Mamma.  The  receipt  of  Harry's 
note  had  so  severely  commenced  the  lesson 
of  matrimonial  obedience,  that  Marian  trem 
bled  in  her  dainty  little  one-and-a-half  "sized 


108    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE.  PERIOD. 

slippers  at  the  evident  conflict  between  connu 
bial  and  parental  authority  which  was  im 
pending. 

:-.  The  circumstances  of  the  day  before  had 
aroused  in  the  highly  accomplished  mother-in- 
law,  all  her  latent  anxiety  for  the  success  of 
the  experiment  which  she  had  devised.  She 
was  keen  to  a  sense  of  just  what  her  opportu 
nity  was,  and  had  no  idea  of  losing  it. 

Judge  of  her  surprise  then,  when  Miss  Mag 
gie  Murphy  came  into  the  reception-room, 
and  she  was  accosted  by  Marian  in  a  ladylike 
and  decided  manner,  and  told,  in  polite  words, 
to  lay  aside  her  bundle  upon  a  chair  in  the 
hallway,  and  to  come  back  to  the  reception- 
room,  to  be  interviewed. 

Dear  Mamma,  in  all  the  glory  of  a  bonnet 
trimmed  with  an  ostrich  feather,  rather  young, 
for  her  age — -but  then,  dear  Mamma  affected 
the  youthful — seated  herself  at  the  table,  and 
prepared  to  conduct  the  necessary  examina 
tion. 

"  Veil,  you  are  the  new  cook  ?"  began  the 
lady,  with  the  slightest  German  accent,  and 
in  a"  tone  which  was  evidently  intended  to 


DEAR  MAMMA  SURPRISED.  109 

impress  Miss  Murphy  with  a  distinct  idea  of 
her  importance  as  one  of  the  governing  pow 
ers  in  Mrs.  Honeydew's  household. 

"  If  you  please,  mother — "  suggested  Ma 
rian,  her  face  just  a  little  highly  colored,  "  I 
will  attend  to  this  !" 

Dear  Mamma  started,  grew  two  shades 
paler  in  complexion,  placed  her  gloved  hands 
in  a  favorite  position  across  her  stomach,  and 
looked  at  Marian. 

"  What  does  this  mean,  my  child  ?"  she 
asked,  when  partly  recovered  from  her  sur 
prise. 

"  Simply  this,  mother,  if  I  am  to  control 
my  house,  I  will  engage  my  servants." 

The  dear  good  lady  with  the  ostrich  feather 
and  the  youthful  bonnet  did  not  stop  to  con 
sider  that  the  new  girl  would  be  a  witness  to 
her  outburst  of  parental  indignation  at  dis 
puted  authority.  Neither  did  she  care.  Hon 
esty  towards  the  reader  compels  this  acknowl 
edgement.  The  lines  of  her  character  were 
forcibly  drawn,  and  the  peculiarly  strong 
temperament  with  which -she  was  unfortunate 
ly  equipped,  gave  her  no  control  over  her  tern- 


IIO    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

per,  which  was  a  fact  well-known  to  Harry 
Honeydew. 

In  a  concise  explanation,  it  may  be  fairly 
understood  that  he  had  married  Marian,  but 
had  no  intention  of  taking  upon  his  shoulders 
the  responsibility  of  submission  to  her  moth 
er's  imperious  dictation. 

It  was  a  struggle  for  Marian  Honeydew  ; 
she  loved  her  husband  dearly,  she  knew  that 
he  loved  her,  and  the  few  words  written  in 
his  hurried  note  were  more  in  the  way  oi 
plain  language  than  he  had  ever  spoken,  much 
less  written,  to  her. 

The  coming  storm  startled  the  quiet,  inof 
fensive  girl,  and  her  face  changed  color,  wkile 
she  grasped  her  parasol  with  a  hold  which  be 
trayed  an  agitation  that  frightened  Marian,  and 
she  looked  beseechingly  at  the  new  servant. 

There  was  but  one  glance  between  them  ; 
from  that  moment  they  understood  each  other 
perfectly,  notwithstanding  the  language  of 
the  elderly  lady  with  the  ostrich  feather  on 
her  bonnet,  who  by  this  time  had  worked  her 
self  up  into  a  German-American  temper,  and 
burst  into  a  torrent  of  words  which  would 


A  JUST  DISTINCTION.  Ill 

have  swamped  poor  little  Marian  under  or 
dinary  circumstances  at  home. 

Dear  Mamma  accused  her  daughter  of  in- 
competency  in  housekeeping ;  Marian  held  her 
responsible  for  the  incompetency  ;  the  fault 
was  laid  at  the  proper  threshold,  and  the  el 
derly  lady  tried  to  shirk  the  responsibility. 
Then  came  the  question  of  filial  obedience,  to 
which  Marian  tearfully  replied,  that  in  a  choice 
between  Mr.  Harry  Honeydew  as  her  husband, 
and  Mrs.  Johanna  Weatherby  as  her  mother, 
the  gentleman  who  was  expected  to  pay  the 
bills  had  the  right  to  the  preference. 

This  finished  the  argument,  relieved  Ma 
rian  and  sent  dear  "Mamma  out  of  the  recep 
tion-room,  down  the  stone  steps,  off  to  the 
corner,  into  a  street  car,  and  away  home  to 
that  brown-stone-front  house  from  which  her 
daughter  had  emerged  as  a  bride,  a  few 
months  before,  with  her  trunk  on  the  outside 
of  the  carriage,  and  Harry  Honeydew  inside, 
as  the  man  whom  she  had  chosen  to  "  love, 
honor  and  obey." 

As  for  Marian,  she  found  relief  in  the  tears 
which  are  always  a  woman's  refuge  in  her 


112    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

hour  of  trouble,  and  which  in  the  present  in 
stance  enabled  the  newly-hired  domestic  to 
come  to  her  assistance. 

"  Do  n't  worry  yerself,  my  darlin'  lady — the 
ould  woman  's  a  haythen,  that  she  is — there, 
now  ! " 

The  kind-hearted  girl'  caught  her  in  her 
arms  and  raised  her  drooping  head  from  the 
sofa,  in  such  a  manner  that  Marian  could  not 
chide  her  for  the  presumptive  familiarity  ;  so 
she  merely  asked  her  name,  and  dried  the 
tears  which  betrayed  her  own  weakness. 

"  My  name,  ma'am  's  Maggie — Maggie  Mur 
phy — I  saw  yer  husband  this  morning,  an'  a 
fine,  nice  sort  iv  a  gintleman,  Misther  Honey- 
sucker  is,  to  be  sure." 

"  Honeydew,  Maggie — not  Honeysucker," 
corrected  Marian,  quite  unable  to  suppress  a 
smile  at  the  girl's  pardonable  mistake. 

"  Honeydew,  or  Honeysuckle,  ma  'am,  it 's 
all  the  same ;  it 's  little  difference,  when  the 
heart 's  not  gone  out  visitin  '." 

Pathos  and  humor  were  in  these  words  of 
honest  Maggie  Murphy,  and  Marian  and  she 
became  -better  friends  as  they  went  down  to 


INSPECTION.  1 1 3 

the  kitchen  to  take  a  look  at  the  establishment, 
of  which  Marian,  from  this  time  forward,  pro 
posed  to  be  the  ostensible  and  the  acting 
mistress, and  in  which  there  seemed,  at  last,  to 
be  a  ray  of  sunshine  for  the  little  dark-eyed 
lady. 

Early  in  the  afternoon,  the  waitress  came, 
with  another  assortment  of  clothing,  contain 
ed  in  a  newspaper  bundle,  and  a  band-box. 
She  had  no  parasol,  but  a  light  pea-green  hat, 
which  had  a  pink  ribbon  on  it.  She  was  not 
unhandsome,  and  as  such,  would  have  been 
the  first  choice  of  Mr.  Harry  Honeydew, 
without  scrutinizing  the  recommendations 
which  she  brought. 

Professing  well,  she  set  out  the  table,  under 
Marian's  direction,  and  things  looked  promis 
ing  for  a  new  beginning. 

There  were  no  tears  in  Marian's  eyes  at  five 
o'clock  that  afternoon.  It  was  June,  and  the 
air  was  balmy  as  it  blew  through  the  window, 

which  the  warm  sunshine  enabled  her  to  leave 

. 

open,  and  she  ran  out  to  the  door-step  to  meet 
her  husband,  when  she  saw  him  spring  from 
the  platform  of  the  street-car  at  the  corner. 


114    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

A  sigh  of  relief  from  Marian  —  the  usual 
triplicate  of  kisses — and  in  less  than  half  an 
hour  they  sat  down  to  a  well-cooked,  nicely- 
served  dinner. 

Nicely  served,  so  far  as  the  cooking  was 
concerned,  but  stupidly  served,  so  far  as  the 
waitress  was  implicated.  The  new  up-stairs 
young  lady  wa's  pretty.  She  was  well-dress 
ed,  and  her  hair  was  frizzed  in  front — wavy, 
brown  hair  which  crimped  nicely — and  she 
looked  neat  and  prepossessing :  that  was  all. 
She  stumbled  with  the  soup,  handed  a  tea 
spoon  to  Harry  to  eat  it  with,  and  spilled  the 
ice-water  on  the  dining-room  carpet  as  she 
filled  the  goblets. 

When  Marian  wanted  the  sauce,  she  stared 
at  her  with  an  almost  idiotic  smile,  and  did 
not  know  whether  the  Worcestershire  was  in 
the  cruet  in  the  castor,  or  in  the  bottle  with 
the  "  Lea  and  Perrins'  "  label. 

"  You  may  take  the  dishes,  Sarah,"  said 
Marian,  when  the%  change  to  dessert  was 
ready — and  away  went  Sarah  from  the  room, 
evidently  for  a  waiter. 

Five  minutes  or  more  elapsed,  and  there 


HARRY'S  SELECTION.  115 

was  a  hollow,  ringing  sound  at  the  door,  "and 
then  Sarah  came  in  ;  her  sleeves  were  rolled 
up,  she  had  a  clean  dish-towel  slung  over  her 
shoulder,  and  in  her  hand  she  had  a  clean, 
bright,  dish-pan,  in  which  she  proposed  to 
carry  off"  the  dishes  and  the  vegetables — but 
how  the  meat,  remained  an  unsolved  problem. 

"  Your  girl,  this  time,  Harry,"  said  Marian, 
in  a  quiet  drive  at  his  choice — "  will  she  do  ?" 

"  No,  not  for  the  country,  by  a  big  calcula 
tion  !  " 

Marian  corrected  the  girl,  even  assisted  her 
to  put  the  dishes  on  the  dumb  -  waiter, 
placed  the  dessert  on  the  table  herself,  and 
asked  Maggie  Murphy  to  come  up  stairs ; 
which  Maggie  did,  good  -  naturedly,  but 
rather  voluble  in  incidental  conversation — 
so  the  meal  was  a  partial  success. 

The  mention  of  the  country  had  raised  a 
question  which  Harry  Honeydew  soon  an 
swered. 

He  acknowledged  his  carelessness  in  allow 
ing  the  Englishman  down  town  to  send  up  a 
waitress  whom  he  had  not  himself  seen,  and  a 
change  was  at  once  agreed  upon ;  so  Marian 


Il6    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

took  the  ticket  for  the  office,  to  go  down  next 
day  and  make  her  own  selection. 

The  history  of  the  scene  in  the  reception- 
room  was  all  told  over.  It  was  a  hard  task 
for  Marian  to  tell  it ;  but  it  came,  and  with  it 
came  kinder  words  from  Harry,  than  even 
she  would  have  expected. 

He  was  happy — the  thraldom  in  which  he 
had  been  held  during  a  two-years'  courtship, 
which  had  developed  itself  unpleasantly  in 
his  married  life  of  only  a  few  months'  dura 
tion,  had  been  overcome,  and  then  and  there 
he  proposed  the  plan  of  hiring  a  Long 
Branch  Cottage  for  the  season,  and  an  agree 
ment  was  entered  into  by  Maggie  Murphy  to 
"  go  into  the  country." 


CHAPTER  IX. 

A  CHANGE  OF  SCENE. 

THE  "  Bouquet  of  Artists,"  who,  for  a 
month  following  the  discharge  of  the  "  com 
petent  waitress,"  enlivened  the'  dining-room 
and  household  of  Mr  and  Mrs.  Honeydew, 
offered  a  variety  which  had  several  charac 
teristics.  Description  would  be  tedious,  if 
the  details  of  acquiring  experience  were  given 
in  full.  The  "  experiments  " — for  such  were 
the  ladies  employed,  and  not  servants — may 
be  summed  up  or  catalogued  about  as  follows : 

NORA  McSHANE,  —  Irish,  aged  twenty-two; 
this  young  lady,  possessed  of  many 
qualifications,  according  to  her  recom 
mendations,  was  afflicted  with  a  preva 
lent  disease  raging  in  the  neighborhood 
— flirtation.  Not  unhandsome  ;  after 
the  third  day,  she  became  enamored 


Il8    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

of  the  grocer's  boy,  who  brought  the 
vegetables  ;-  and  on  the  fourth  day,  pre 
pared  a  plan  for  a  supper-party,  to  be 
held  in  the  reception-room,  on  the  first 
convenient  occasion  ;  on  the  sixth  day, 
the  cook  being  out  and  Mr.  and  Mrs. 
Honeydew  away  from  home,  the  party 
was  held,  and  during  the  "  entertain 
ment,"  several  dishes  and  one  cut-glass 
decanter  were  broken,  Miss  McShane 
refused  to  pay  for  the  broken  glass 
ware,  and  was  discharged  at  once. 

ANNIE  GILMARTIN,  —  Irish,  aged  nineteen; 
bright-faced  and  willing,  well  recom 
mended,  "  wanted  a  good  home,"  very 
stupid,  and  was  taken  sick  after  a 
week's  service,  and  went  home  to  her 
sister's. 

TERESA  VoN-ScHOP,— German,  aged  thirty  ; 
well  acquainted  with  the  German  lan 
guage,  but  deficient  in  English ;  knew 
nothing  of  waiting  on  table,  and  could 
not  agree  with  Maggie  Murphy. 

EMMA  McKEE, — Scotch,  age  indefinite  ;  could 
not  endure  the  presence  of  the  cook  ; 
sang  Scotch  airs  in  a  staccato  voice 


THE   CATALOGUE.  1 19 

while  at  work  washing  dishes,  and  was 
decidedly  unpleasant  in  manner  and 
voice  to  Mr.  Honeydew. 

MARY  ANN  FEENEY, — Irish,  aged  twenty-five ; 
just  come  from  Ireland,  landed  at  Cas 
tle  Garden  ;  good  recommendations  for 
honesty  from  the  Emigration  Bureau  ; 
wages  twelve  dollars  instead  of  four 
teen  ;  knew  nothing  of  New  York,  ex 
cept  by  hearsay  ;  was  freshly  imported 
from  County  Sligo ;  liked  the  appear 
ance  of  both  Maggie  Murphy  and  Mrs. 
Heneydew ;  had  no  baggage  but  a 
bundle  and  was  willing  to  go  into  the 
country  ;  no  relations  but  one  cousin 
"  out  west,"  to  whom  she  had  written, 
on  arrival. 

Despite  the  failures  of  the  successive  but 
unsuccessful  young  ladies,  the  kindly  face  of 
Maggie  Murphy  still  held  its  place  in  the 
Honeydew  household.  Her  cooking,  to  be 
sure,  was  not  extravagantly  good,  but  what 
she  did  know  was  rudimentary  and  practical, 
and  she  was  always  good-natured,  so  much 
so,  that,  not  unfrcquently,  she  gave  advice  to 


120    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF   THE   PERIOD. 

Marian  which  was  beneficial,  and  as  she  had 
few  friends  in  the  City,  was  seldom  out  at 
nights,  and  not  always  on  Sundays. 

From  the  day  upon  which  she  was  engaged, 
when  the  scene  with  dear  Mamma  culminated 
in  that  lady's  sudden  exit  from  the  house, 
until  the  month  had  worn  away,  there  was  a 
truly  honest  friendship  between  Maggie  Mur 
phy  and  her  mistress. 

The  plan  for  a  seaside  cottage,  mentioned  by 
the  Honeydews  just  after  they  had  settled  in 
their  new  home,  had  come  to  be  a  certainty. 
Fred  Margin,  the  senior  partner  of  the  stock 
brokers'  firm — they  were  all  young  men,  clerk- 
graduates  of  the  Gold  Room — was  addicted  to 
Long  Branch.  He  had  successfully  ventilated 
himself  at  the  seaside  for  the  last  five  years — 
he  had  done  the  "  Continental  "  in  its  various 
changes  of  owners,  had  patronized  the  "  Man 
sion  "  in  its  palmy  days,  and  had  been  quar 
tered  at  the  "  West  End,"  at  its  first  season  ; 
so  he  was  "  up "  on  the  prospect,  and  had 
decided  to  occupy  a  cottage  there,  in  which 
Harry  and  his  wife  should  do  the  housekeep 
ing,  and  he  would  pay  his  share  on  the  coop- 


CONSIDERING.  121 

erative  principle,  without  the  responsibility 
of  the  success  of  the  undertaking. 

It  was  a  nice  arrangement,  as  proposed  : 
given,  a  neat  cottage,  convenient  to  the  depot, 
containing  nine  rooms;  also  a  stable,  in  which 
Harry  and  he  could  keep  a  team  of  horses — 
Fred  owned  one  good  stepper,  and  Harry 
could  buy  a  mate  to  him — the  house  already 
furnished,  and  they  could  keep  the  thing  go 
ing  like  a  colony  of  contented  housekeepers. 

"  Cheaper  than  the  hotel,  you  know  ;  and, 
besides,  Livingston  Speculate  can  't  make  up 
that  short  margin  on  Pacific,  and  we  may  as 
well  help  him  out  by  taking  the  cottage  and 
allowing  him  the  rent  for  it." 

This  was  the  argument  used  in  the  conver 
sation  which  took  place  in  the  private  back 
office  of  the  partners,  when  the  chance  of 
getting  any  money  from  several  "  lame  ducks  " 
was  talked  over. 

When  they  considered  that  Mr.  Livingston 
Speculate  owned  the  cottage — that  he  had  giv 
en  a  second  (chattel)  mortgage  a  year  before 
to  his  brokers  to  prevent  being  sold  out  "just 

then  ;"  that  Pacific  did  n't  happen  to  jump  the 
6 


122    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

right  way  ;  and  that  he  was  sold  out  for  their 
protection,  the  Long  Branch  cottage  became 
a  fixed  fact. 

Just  after  the  "  Fourth,"  then,  there  was  an 
expectant  party  on  the  way  to  the  Branch, 
and  all  in  glee  at  the  prospect.  Fred  Margin 
had  taken  the  Red  Bank  boat  at  six  o'clock 
in  the  morning,  had  gone  down  with  the 
coachman  and  the  horses,  and,  arriving  at  Red 
Bank  a  little  after  noon,  had  only  an  hour's 
drive  of  seven  miles  over  a  good  road,  from 
the  steamboat  landing  to  the  shore.  He  was 
to  open  the  house,  and  be  ready  to  receive 
them  at  the  d6pot,  and  Harry  and  Marian 
with  the  servants  were  to  come  down  by  the 
afternoon  boat. 

It  was  a  lively  scene  at  the  pier.-  There 
was  the  Plymouth  Rock,  gorgeously  splendid 
in  fresh  paint  and  bunting,  ready  for  a  start, 
with  her  elegant-looking  Captain  standing  by 
the  after  gangway  in  all  the  glory  of  white 
kids  and  new  uniform,  monogrammed  and 
gold-laced,  like  an  officer  of  the  regular  navy, 
wanting  only  the  Foul  Anchor  to  make  him 
complete.  All  the  Wall  Street  fellows  had 


OFF  TO   THE   "BRANCH."  123 

taken  their  camp-stools  from  the  express- 
office,  and  were  smoking  and  knocking  hats 
around  on  the  forward  deck,  as  all  the  Wall 
Street  fellows  did.  The  lively  strains  of  the 
gems  from  "  Barbe  Blue  "  were  being  played 
by  the  detachment  of  the  Ninth  Regiment 
Band,  and  Harry  had  secured  a  seat  for 
Marian  upon  the  shatly  side,  among  a  crowd 
of  Israelites — the  barnacles  of  the  watering 
places,  forever  present  on  cars  and  steamboats, 
in  the  best  places — while  he  had  with  care 
ful  forethought  stationed  Miss  Murphy  and 
Miss  Feeney,  the  "  help  "  of  that  particular 
period,  together  upon  one  of  the  sofas  on  the 
lower  saloon  deck,  convenient  to  the  gangway. 
It  was  "awfully  jolly,"  as  several  Stock- 
Board  friends  agreed,  this  having  Honeydew 
going  down  to  the  Branch  ;  "  all  in  a  snug 
little  cottage,  you  know,"  as  one  of  them 
playfully  whispered  to  Marian,  after  the  in 
troduction  which  had  been  given  him.  And 
Marian  felt  the  necessity  of  showing  how 
very  important  she  was,  and  how  necessary 
to  Harry's  existence,  by  detailing  their  plans  to 
the  several  polite  Wall  Street  friends  of  her 


124    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE  PERIOD. 

husband,  while  Harry  went  to  the  office  be 
low,  to  purchase  a  commutation  ticket — for 
he  intended  to  travel  to  New  York  every 
morning,  and  back  to  the  Branch  every  night, 
with  the  rest  of  the  fellows  —  had  already 
paid  for  a  camp-stool,  in  view  of  the  necessi 
ties  of  the  morning  trip  up  and  the  evening 
trip  down,  and  had  been  duly  inducted  into 
the  mysterious  process  of  obtaining  a  half- 
bottle  without  delay,  by  an  extra  quarter  to 
one  of  the  swallow-tail-coated  waiters  in  the 
dining-room. 

And  then,  the  prospects  for  that  trip  were 
so  pleasant ;  the  air  was  so  bracing  (at  the 
Branch)  early  in  the  morning  ;  the  boat  ar 
rived  at  her  pier  in  due  time  for  his  atten 
dance  at  the  office  and  the  Board  ;  it  was 
such  jolly  fun  to  catch  the  cool,  invigorating 
sea-breeze  after  a  day's  hot  work  in  the  city, 
and  there  were  so  many  nice  tables,  and  such 
good  wine  on  ice  in  the  gorgeous  dining- 
room  ;  and  Levy  played  so  gloriously  upon 
the  cornet,  and  the  "  Band  "  discoursed  such 
nice  music  ;  and  there  were  so  many  euchre 
(and  poker)  parties  in  the  "  private  parlors," 


SUNDRIES.  125 

to  be  obtained  at  the  moderate  price  of  two 
dollars  per  trip,  on  the  Plymouth  Rock ;  and 
then  Tilton,  the  Captain  of  the  boat,  was  such 
r  a  jolly  good  fellow,  and  it  was  such  a  pleasant 
ride  up  the  beach,  with  the  ocean  on  one  side 
and  the  river  and  Highlands  on  the  other ; 
and  there  were  so  many  pretty  ladies,  whom 
the  Wall  Street  fellows  knew  and  chatted 
with  ;  and  the  change  would  be  such  a  good 
thing  for  Marian ;  and  the  boys  could  come 
over  from  the  hotels  and  take  a  smoke  with 
them  on  Sunday  ;  and  there  were  the  Satur 
day  night  "hops"  at  the  big  houses,  and 
there  was  the  Club  House  to  go  to  (semi- 
occasionally)  ;  and  there  was  Monmouth  Park, 
and  the  races  in  the  July  and  the  August 
meetings.  To  make  everything  serene,  and 
the  prospect  still  more  pleasant,  there  was 
Fred  Margin  at  the  d6pot,  whip  in  hand 
and  horses  prancing,  with  the  new  "  drag  " — 
all  brilliant  and  sparkling,  just  from  Brews- 
ter's — waiting  for  Harry  and  Marian  ;  and 
the  coachman  was  there,  too,  waiting  for  the 
girls  who  were  to  officiate  as  cook  and  cham 
bermaid. 


126    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

"  All  right,  Fred  ?  "  asked  Honeydew,  as  he 
assisted  Marian  to  climb  up  to  the  back  seat 
of  the  two-story  vehicle,  after  starting  the 
girls  off  home  in  a  hack,  attended  by  the  coach 
man  ;  "  horses  all  right,  and  house  open?  " 

"  Yes  ;  and  I  've  ordered  a  nice  dinner  to  be 
sent  down  from  lauch's,  to  be  ready  at  half- 
past  six  !  "  was  the  proud  reply,  given  with 
the  ejaculatory  interpolations  of  "  Whoa, 
Dick !  Steady,  Prince  !  Whoa,  boys  !  "  as 
Harry  mounted  to  the  front  seat,  and,  amid 
the  cloud  of  omnibuses,  pony-wagons,  and 
private  carriages,  they  rolled  away  up  the 
beach  road,  to  take  a  turn  past  the  hotels  be 
fore  dinner,  as  a  commencement  to  their  Long 
Branch  season. 


CHAPTER  X. 

LONG  BRANCH. 

THE  music  of  the  waves,  which  the  sea-side 
poets  so  devoutly  put  into  their  watering- 
place  rhymes,  fell  upon  the  ears  of  a  pleasant 
household  at  the  Long  Branch  cottage.  Mr. 
Livingstone  Speculate  had  laid  things  out 
nicely  in  his  selection,  and  the  furniture 
which  he  had  left  in  the  house,  without  being 
very  elaborate,  or  very  abundant,  was  suffi 
cient  for  the  purpose  ;  and  as  Marian  unpack 
ed  a  couple  of  her  trunks  that  evening,  while 
Harry  and  Fred  were  taking  it  lazily,  behind 
good  cigars,  upon  the  piazza,  the  soft  moon 
light  looked  pretty  out  on  the  ocean,  and  she 
liked  Long  Branch.  . 

How  charming  the  little  lady  looked  in  her 
ntgligt  dress,  her  soft  brown  hair  coquettishly 
attractive,  as  it  hung  a-down  her  shoulders, 
and  played  about  in  the  sea-breeze !  .  She 


128    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF   THE  PERIOD. 

turned  the  corner  of  the  piazza,  breaking  upon 
them  like  a  picture,  and  came  towards  the 
gentlemen,  throwing  her  arms  lovingly  around 
Harry's  neck,  with  an  utter  disregard  of  hot 
cigar  ashes  upon  his  shirt  bosom,  and  then, 
after  a  couple  of  energetic  attempts,  seated 
herself  at  his  feet  in  the  hammock  in  which 
he  swung. 

"  Why,  pet,  you  're  jolly,  to-night !  "  said 
Hone/dew,  setting  the  hammock  a-swinging, 
and  creating  a  new  breeze  by  the  oscillation  ; 
"  are  you  happy  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Harry,  I  'm  happy,  and  this  seems 
like  living  !  " 

The  dear  little  woman  was  in  earnest,  and 
Honeydew  knew  that  she  was  ;  there  was 
nothing  now  to  be  said — they  were  fairly 
embarked  in  their  new  enterprise  of  coop 
erative  housekeeping,  and  as  Marian  was 
tired  after  her  travel  and  her  unpacking,  at 
an  early  hour  in  that  moonlight  evening 
there  was  quiet  in  the  Honeydew  house 
hold. 

And  there  was  an  order  for  early  breakfast 
in  the  morning  conveyed  to  Miss  Maggie 


SEA-FOG.  129 

Murphy,  and  by  Miss  Murphy  conveyed   to 
Miss  Feeney. 

There  wasn't  quite  so  pleasant  an  atmo 
sphere  out  of  doors,  or  in,  the  next  morning 
at  half-past  six  o'clock,  when  the  Honey  dew 
cooperative  household  turned  out  from  beds, 
and  in  to  breakfast.  As  frequently,  at  the  sea 
side,  it  had  clouded  over  during  the  night, 
there  was  a  drizzling  sort  of  shower,  a(id  it 
was  an  unpleasant  July  morning,  with  very 
little  air  on  the  land,  and  little  upon  the  ocean. 

Away  off  at  sea,  the  outward-bound 
schooners  lay  almost  motionless,  working 
slowly  off  shore,  and  with  their  dingy, 
damp  sails  flapping  idly  against  their  masts, 
while  the  carriages  which  passed  the  door, 
bearing  passengers  to  the  earlier  morning 
trains  looked  very  blue,  from  the  rain  upon 
their  black  paint,  and  the  whole  aspect  was 
damp,  gloomy  and  foreboding  as  Marian  stood 
at  the  front  door,  looking  out  upon  the  road 
and  upon  the  shadowy  horses  moving  along 
in  the  fog. 

There    were    two    anxious    gentlemen    in 
6* 


I3O    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

waiting  for  that  early  breakfast.  Six  o'clock 
was  n't  so  terribly  early,  to  be  sure,  of  a  clear, 
sunshiny  morning ;  but  it  did  come  a  little 
early  for  two- thirds  of  the  firm  of  Margin, 
Short  and  Honeydew,  that  day.  Harry 
never  felt  more  like  sleeping  in  his  life,  and 
Fred  rolled  down  into  the  parlor,  and  out 
upon  the  piazza,  with  his  eyes  full  of  what  he 
called  "  sea-fog,"  and  just  a  little  ill-natured, 
as  he  called  at  the  foot  of  the  stair-way  for 
Honeydew  to  get  up  and  come  down,  if  he 
wanted  to  go  to  town. 

The  reason  of  his  impatience  was  a  cursory 
view  which  he  took  of  the  dining-room.  How 
long  it  might  possibly  take  to  set  the  table,  he 
did  not  know — and  there  was  nothing  on  it, 
but  the  tablecloth  and  a  partly  filled  tumbler. 

Simultaneously  with  the  appearance  of 
Marian  Honeydew  from  off  the  piazza,  there 
came  a  sudden  sunburst  of  Ireland  from  the 
kitchen.  Maggie  Murphy  was  angry,  she 
had  cooked  a  breakfast,  such  as  it  was — for 
Marian  had  forgotten  that  the  stores  were  not 
at  the  corner  of  the  street — and  what  little 
there  was  for  breakfast  had  been  made  ready, 


MISS  FEENEY.  131 

in  expectation  of  being  taken  to  the  dining- 
room. 

But  no  Miss  Feeney  was  visible. 

The  new  young  lady  had  been  awakened 
from  her  early  morning  slumbers  by  Maggie  ; 
but  a  second  nap  had  been  too  great  a  tempta 
tion,  and  she  had  just  made  her  appearance  in 
the  kitchen  with  unkempt  hair,  and  slip-shod, 
and  had  deliberately  proceeded  to  wash  her 
face  in  one  of  the  clean  dish-pans  which  Mag 
gie  had  laid  aside  for  private  use. 

"  Shure,  ma'am,  an'  it's  too  bad,  indade, 
ma'am,  with   the   strange   gintleman   in   the. 
house,  an'  the  dishes  all  cooked  an'  waitin', 
and  no  one  to  put  them  on  the  table.      D'  ye 
see  that  f  "  said  Maggie,  pathetically. 

She  nodded  patronizingly  at  the  new 
waitress,  who  stood  with  arms  a-kimbo, 
leaning  against  the  open  window,  quite  ob 
livious  to  the  possible  effect  of  the  ora 
tion. 

To  add  to  the  indignity  of  the  situation, 
Harry  thrust  his  head  into  the  kitchen,  and 
demanded  something  to  eat,  in  no  very  mild 
tone  of  voice,  with  the  concise  remark  that 


132     THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

"  the  train  went  in  half  an  hour,  and  it  rained 
like  sin,  out  o'  doors  !  " 

Little  did  the  newly  arisen  Miss.Feeney 
care  what  Mr.  Honeydew  wanted.  She  had 
successfully  played  her  trump  card  in  the 
hand  she  held.  With  no  very  definite  idea 
where  Long  Branch  was,  how  long  it  took  to 
reach  it,  or  by  what  route,  she  had  engaged 
to  go  into  the  country,  was  fresh  from  the  In 
telligence  Office,  and  had  formed  no  very 
pleasant  opinion  of  a  sea-side  residence  upon 
her  arrival. 

"  Are  you  going  to  work?  "  asked  Marian, 
with  all  the  authority  which  she  could  com 
mand,  and  addressing  her  conversation  solely 
to  the  young  woman  with  the  unkempt  hair, 
who  still  maintaiired  her  position  by  the  win 
dow — "  what  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"  What  do  I  mane,  is  it  ? "  was  the  quick 
reply.  "  What  d  'ye  suppose  I  mane,  ma  'am  ? 
I  '11  not  stay  in  this  place,  ye  may  be  sure  !  " 

"  Will  you  set  that  table  ?  " 

"  That  I  won't !  If  ye  want  it  set,  as  ye 
call  it,  do  it  yerself !  " 

And  the  girl  sat  down  upon  a  vacant  chair, 


GOOD    MORNING.  133 

while  Marian  appealed,  by  a  look  of  calm 
submission,  to  the  now  very  angry  and  very 
red-faced  cook. 

Persuasion  was  useless  — arguments  were 
beyond  the  limited  comprehension  of  the 
waitress — there  was  already  a  fair  share  of 
the  half  hour  of  time  passed  away,  and  Ma 
rian  had  but  one  thing  to  do,  which  was  to 
carry  in  the  dishes  herself,  and  pour  out  the 
coffee  with  all  possible  haste. 

The  poor  little  woman  had  seen  her  pretty 
picture  of  sea-side  comfort  fade  away,  like 
the  shadows  from  a  camera,  and,  had  it  not 
been  for  the  presence  of  Fred,  would  have  in 
dulged  in  a  feminine  cry,  by  way  of  relief 
to  her  lacerated  feelings. 

There  was  no  time  for  that,  however ;  busi 
ness  was  important — Harry  must  go  to  the 
City,  and  there  was  scarcely  time  to  catch  the 
train.  Biscuits  were  grown  cold,  and  there 
was  no  time  to  indulge  in  beefsteak  or  pota 
toes.  The  few  moments  left  for  leave-taking 
were  devoted  to  a  private  conversation  at  the 
front  door,  and  in  silence,  if  not  in  anger, 
Iloneydew  walked  over  with  Fred  to  the  d&- 


134    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

pot,  sprang  upon  the  platform  of  the  smoking- 
car,  and  started  for  New  York,  leaving  Ma 
rian,  trying  to  smile,  but  rather  bashful,  look 
ing  ai;er  them  as  they  walked  away. 

Once,  and  once  only  he  looked  towards  the 
cottage ;  the  train  passed  only  a  couple  of 
fields  away,  and  as  they  moved  off  behind  the 
wheezy  engine,  he  saw  a  small  white  handker 
chief  being  waved  as  adieu  at  him,  and  waved 
his  own  in  return— mechanically,  at  least,  for  he 
was  hungry,  ill-humored,  and  very  much  dis 
gusted —  and  he  maintained  a  peculiarly  inde 
finite  aspect,  and  a  solemn  silence,  broken 
only  by  an  occasional  monosyllable,  until  they 
reached  the  Plymouth  Rock. 

How  far  a  good  breakfast  a  la  carte  may 
have  affected  him  remains  to  be  imagined  ; 
that  it  did  affect  him  may  be  supposed  from 
the  conversation  with  Fred  and  a  couple  of 
Wall  Street  friends,  over  the  iced  champagne 
which  was  "  set  up  "  before  them.  The  con 
versation  "  culminated  "  in  a  message  sent  by 
telegraph  to  dear  Mamma,  from  the  Broad 
Street  office,  asking  her  to  "  send  Annie  down 
to  the  Branch  by  the  afternoon  boat,"  and  by 


REBELLION.  135 

his  going  back  by  the  10:40  A.  M.  line,  and 
finding  Marian  quite  disconsolate,  and  the 
new  girl  not  missing  from  the  cottage,  but  in 
a  high  state  of  insubordination.  4 


CHAPTER    XI. 

* 

MILESIAN    VISITORS. 

"  The  Wall  Street  Broker,  traveling  with  the  men, 
Sailed  up  the  bay,  and  then  sailed  back  again  " — 

would  be  a  good  alteration  of  old  lines,  ap 
propriate  to  Honeydew's  situation,  as  he 
stepped  on  board  the  good  steamer  Jesse 
Hoyt,  on  the  way  back  to  Long  Branch,  with 
his  feelings  wrought  up  to  their  highest  pos 
sible  pitch  of  household  excitement,  and  with 
his  conscience  loaded  down  with  censure  at 
what  he  thought  to  be  injustice  towards  his 
wife. 

The  skeleton  in  his  housekeeping  closet 
was,  figuratively,  grinning  at  him  in  all  its 
hideous  deformity,  and  he  could  n't  smile 
back  at  the  skeleton.  He  had  toned  himself 
down  from  his  indignant  attitude  long  before 
the  train  reached  Long  Branch  station,  and, 

entering  the  house  by  the  back  door,  rushed 
(136) 


AN  ARMISTICE.  137 

up  to  his  room,  to  find  Marian  pale,  anxious 
and  tearful. 

"  Cheer  up,  darling,  cheer  up  !  "  was  his 
first  sentence.  "  I  '11  help  you  out  to-day  !  " 

But  how  ?  was  the  question.  There  was  a 
thoroughly  demoralized  state  of  affairs  at  the 
cottage.  The  contagion  had  extended  to 
Maggie  Murphy,  the  pattern  cook,  and  she 
was  having  a  genteel  row 'with  Richard,  the 
coachman,  while  the  waitress  was  sulking  in 
the  dining-room.  The  belligerent  servants 
and  the  indignant  mistress  had  drawn  fire ; 
there  was  a  cessation  of  active  hostilities, 
while  the  breakfast  things,  at  twelve  o'clock, 
stood  upon  the  dining-table. 

The  sudden  appearance  of  the  gentleman, 
however,  had  a  good  effect,  and  probably 
saved  Marian  from  the  mortification  of  an 
abusive  scene  with  the  servants,  or  the  incon 
venience  of  a  secession  of  the  whole  force. 
The  wrangling  dispute  between  Richard  and 
Maggie  came  to  a  climax.  Richard  had  laid 
violent  hands  upon  a  water-pail,  to  carry  wa-- 
tcr  to  the  horses,  and  Maggie  had  protested, 
whereupon  Richard  did  use  it  to  water  the 


138    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

horses,  and  then  tossed  it  in  upon  the  kitchen 
floor,  so  that  it  struck  Miss  Maggie  upon 
the  ankles  as  it  rolled  across  the  room  — 
whereupon  the  cook  had  become  justly  in 
censed. 

Usurping  the  privileges  of  his  wife,  Harry 
Honeydew  delivered  a'short,  pithy  address  to 
the  refractory  help.  Maggie,  after  stating 
that  there  was  nothing  for  dinner,  no  coal  to 
cook  with,  and  that  the  well-water  was 
"  salty,"  took  to  her  dishes,  and  made  a  sec 
ond  wood  fire — the  waitress  commenced  set 
ting  the  dining-room  in  order,  and  Richard 
began  the  harnessing  of  the  horses,  without  a 
word  of  opposition,  contenting  himself  with 
a  venomous  glance  at  the  cook. 

The  sea-fog  had  cleared  away,  and  with  it 
the  temporary  clouds  above  the  Honeydew 
household.  Harry  started  off  to  the  village — 
bought  coal,  and  had  it  sent  to  the  house — 
opened  an  account  at  the  general  country 
store,  and  with  fresh-caught  fish  in  abund 
ance,  which  he  deposited  with  an  air  of  tri 
umph  upon  the  kitchen  table  —  provided 
enough  of  provisi  Dns  for  one  day  at  least,  and 


COUSIN  AND   FRIEND.  139 

started  off  for  a  ride,  taking  Marian  along 
with  him,  leaving  the  household  to  run  itself, 
and  bringing  up  at  the  d£p6t  at  train  time,  to 
meet  Fred  and  his  other  expected  visitor — 
that  is,  the  sister-in-law  who  was  to  comfort 
Marian  in  her  perplexity  ;  but  other  and  un 
expected  ones  came,  without  a  greeting  from 
the  Honeydews. 

No  sooner  had  the  dinner  been  finished, 
and  the  pleasant  little  family  party  of  four 
congregated  upon  the  sea-front  side  of  the 
piazza,  than  there  was  a  barking  of  the  coach- 
dog  heard,  and  the  dog  continued  to  bark 
until  Harry  went  around  to  the  back  of  the 
house,  to  enquire  the  reason  for  the  disturb 
ance. 

The  dog  was  right — he  should  have  barked  ; 
and  the  appearance  of  two  slovenly-looking 
fellows,  who  hung  around  the  back  door,  was 
sufficient  reason  for  his  canine  manifestations. 

There  was  mud  upon  their  boots,  and  their 
faces  were  unshaven  ;  and  they  were  in  con 
versation  with  the  new  waitress. 

"  Well,  my  men,  what  is  wanted  ?"  was  the 
first  question  which  Honeydew  asked. 


140    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

A  sort  of  low  comedy  smile  was  the  fel 
low's  reply. 

"  My  cousin,  sir,  and  a  friend  !  " 

There  was  a  degree  of  positive  assurance 
about  this  announcement  which  was  refresh 
ingly  decisive,  with  the  two  gentlemen  lately 
arrived,  friends  in  ordinary  to  the  new  girl. 

So,  out  of  deference  to  Miss  Feeney's  feel 
ings,  Honeydew  returned  to  the  front  piazza, 
as  Miss  Feeney  took  possession  of  the  back  one, 
and  gave  her  tired  "  cousin  "  and  his  friend  a 
few  "  scraps  "  from  the  table. 

How  glad  the  lately  arrived  girl  was  to  see 
the  "  cousin,"  and  how  nicely  the  story  of  the 
one  relation  "  out  West,"  comported  with  his 
arrival  at  Long  Branch  quite  as  soon  as  Miss 
Feeney's  was  an  open  question.  To  use  a 
phrase  bordering  upon  slang,  but  very  expres 
sive,  it  was  "  thin  " — quite  transparent — and 
Harry  Honeydew  thought  so. 

The  cousin  and  his  friend  lingered  about 
the  premises  till  late  at  night,  and  were  sitting 
upon  the  back  steps  when  the  family  retired, 
and  when  Maggie  was  ready  to  shut  up  the 
house. 


LATE  VISITORS.  141 

But  they  looked  so  innocent,  and  were  ap 
parently  so  inoffensive,  and  it  seemed  so  great 
a  pity  to  deprive  the  poor  girl  of  their  com 
panionship,  that  Marian  hesitated  about  order 
ing  the  men  away,  and  waited  nearly  an  hour 
— till  it  was  eleven  o'clock. — before  Harry  was 
sent  down,  in  dressing-gown  and  slippers,  to 
dismiss  the  visitors  and  close  up  the  establish 
ment. 

There  were  looks  of  indignation,  when  he 
reached  the  back  door — but  the  men  took  the 

* 

order  without  a  word,  at  least  that  Harry 
could  interpret,  and  the  girl  went  slowly  up 
the  back  stairs,  leaving  him  to  lock  the  door, 
and  affording  him  also  the  privilege  of  taking 
the  extra  precaution  of  noting  the  fastenings 
to  the  windows  and  the  bolts  upon  the  cellar 
shutters,  which  opened  upon  the  outside. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

A  PAINFUL  DISCOVERY. 

MARIAN'S  pretty  little  clock  had  ticked 
away  all  night,  in  its  soberest  way,  and  was 
just  striking  six  A.  M.,  when  Harry  opened  his 
sleepy  eyes,  and  went  out  into  the  hall  to 
arouse  the  girls.  It  was  a  custom  which 
the  necessity  for  early  breakfast  had  taught 
him,  and  he  thumped  away  at  the  cook's  door 
with  a  violence  which  would  have  recalled  a 
remembrance  of  the  cry  of  "  Fall  River !  " 
accompanied  by  three  knocks  upon  stateroom 
doors,  familiar  to  the  travelers  to  Boston  by 
the  boat.  Maggie  started  from  her  bed,  and 
answered  sleepily — so  Harry  told  her  to  call 
the  chambermaid,  who  had  been  given  sleep 
ing  quarters  in  another  room,  and  went  back 
to  his  own  bed  for  just  three  minutes  more  of 
semi-somnolency,  but  which  he  was  not  allow 
ed  to  have. 

"  God  save  us,  sir,  the  girl  is  gone  !  "  were 
(*4*) 


THE  BIRD   FLOWN.  143 

the  startling  words  which  were  shouted  at  the 
door  of  his  room  two  minutes  after,  while  the 
latch  was  turned  and  the  head  of  the  cook 
thrust  within  the  opening  made  by  the  swing 
ing  door—"  Gone  ;  an'  her  clothes  wid  her  !  " 
The  frightened  girl,  with  her  face  the  com 
plete  picture  of  dismay  and  terror,  standing 
in  her  night-dress,  and  barefooted,  clung  to 
the  side  of  the  door  for  support,  making  an 
exhibition  of  Celtic  female  loveliness  in  a  dis- 

» 

organized  state  of  toilet,  which  added  an 
interest  to  the  situation  fully  appreciated  by 
Marian  Honeydew,  if  not  by  her  husband. 

In  Marian's  nervous  state  of  mind,  the 
sentence  which  she  could  not  clearly  make 
out  carried  with  it  a  volume  of  condensed  disas 
ter  ;  and  the  annoyance  of  the  situation  was 
not  mitigated  by  Harry's  evident  fright  at 
what  had  happened. 

"Gone,  you  say,  Maggie;  where?"  was 
his  inquiry,  as  Maggie  drew  back  and  blushed 
a  little  at  the  realization  of  her  dishabille. 

"  Yis,  sur,  gone  —  an'  God  knows  where; 
oh,  sir,  if  ye  plaze — " 

By  the   time  she   had    reached   the   word 


144    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  .THE   PERIOD. 

"  plaze,"  Harry  had  pulled  on  his  boots  and 
pants,  and  he  dashed  out  of  his  room,  and  over 
to  the  chambermaid's  in  breathless  anxiety. 

The  bed  had  evidently  not  been  occupied 
during  the  night — the  window  was  open,  and 
beneath  it  were  the  marks  of  heavy  foot-prints 
together  with  one  or  two  hair-pins  and  a  dirty 
neck-tie,  easily  to  be  recognized  as  one  which 
had  been  stolen  from  Marian. 

The  girl  had  thrown  her  clothes  from  the 
window,  and  the  worst  fears  which  Harry 
might  form  of  what  had  been  done,  had  good 
promise  of  being  found  well  deserved. 

By  this  time  Fred  had  been  aroused  by  the 
unusual  clamor,  and  Annie  had  emerged  from 
her  room,  in  her  night  dress,  and  there  was 
altogether  a  lively  family  scene,  with  a  con 
fused  family  party. 

Down  to  the  kitchen  went  the  quartette  of 
frightened  housekeepers,  Harry  leading,  Fred 
next,  then  Annie,  and  then  the  cook  ;  Marian 
remaining  at  the  head  of  the  stairway,  cling 
ing  to  the  balusters  for  support. 

The  dining-room  told  the  rest  of  the  story. 
The  drawers  of  the  buffet  were  open,  the  nap- 


CLEANED   OUT.  145 

kins  scattered  over  the  floor,  and  not  a  single 
silver  spoon  or  fork  was  to  be  found.  The 
back-door  of  the  kitchen  was  shut,  but  un 
locked,  one  of  the  windows  open,  and  beside 
the  cellar  door,  lying  with  his  head  upon  the 
steps,  was  the  coach  dog,  dead,  from  a  blow 
upon  the  head  inflicted  with  an  iron  "jimmy," 
which  had  been  used  to  force  an  entrance  to 
the  cellar. 

The  "  cousin  from  the  West "  had  paid  a 
timely  visit,  and  the  girl  who  had  been  his 
accomplice  had  made  good  her  escape. 

The  drowsy  coachman,  sleeping  in  his  cham 
ber  over  the  carriage-house,  was  called  up, 
and  evidently  knew  nothing  of  the  affair,  but 
mourned  the  loss  of  his  pet  dog  more  than  he 
did  the  silver-ware  for  which  Harry  had,  in 
part,  paid,  and  which  Marian  had  taken  from 
the  chest  in  which  the  wedding-presents  were 
deposited. 

Nor  was  the  chase  to  the  village,  on  horse 
back,  of  any  avail.  The  policemen,  in  pay  of 
the  Long  Branch  Commissioners  (and  espe 
cially  savage  upon  hack-drivers)  had  seen  no 
one  of  a  suspicious  character,  and  the  only 
7 


146    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

information  which  the  most  diligent  inquiry 
elicited  from  the  railroad  people,  was,  that  a 
man  and  a  woman,  with  no  baggage  but  a 
bundle  and  a  bandbox,  had  taken  passage  on 
a  freight  train,  at  an  early  hour  in  the  morn 
ing  ;  that  it  was  not  an  unusual  occurrence, 
and  that  by  the  time  that  Harry  was  making 
his  investigation,  the  thieves  had  arrived  at 
New  York,  and  were  safe  from  pursuit  or  de 
tection. 

And  so,  there  was  one  more  day  of  anxiety 
promised,  and  another  morning  of  disorganiz 
ed  breakfast.  When  the  two  gentlemen  went 
to  town  by  a  later  train,  it  was  with  the  firm 
conviction  that  faith  in  womankind — when 
servants — was  ill-placed  ;  and  that  running  a 
seaside  cottage  on  the  cooperative  plan  was  a 
luxury,  rather  than  a  necessity. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

NORAH, — A  LAST  EXPERIMENT. 

IT  was  a  mortification  to  Honeydew,  when 
he  was  compelled  to  visit  the  maternal  man 
sion,  near  the  Avenue,  an  hour  after  his  ar 
rival  in  New  York  ;  but  there  was  no  help  for 
it.  Marian  was  young,  inexperienced  and 
nervous  ;  she  claimed  to  have  need  of  her 
mother's  advice,  and  the  errand  was  his  sec 
ond  visit  to  the  house  since  they  had  given 

up  their  apartments  at  the  Hotel,  and 

had  struck  out  for  themselves. 

Mrs.  Weatherby,  a  little  vindictive,  but  cer 
tainly  gratified  at  the  unexpected  necessity 
for  her  assistance  or  advice,  received  him 
rather  coldly.  When  it  is  considered  that, 
on  account  of  family  difficulties,  in  which 
there  were  two  sides  to  the  question,  Ex-Cap 
tain  Weatherby  did  not  live  at  home,  and  as 
dear  Mamma  was  consequently  the  temporal 

(147) 


148    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

head  of  the  Weatherby  establishment,  there 
may  be  found  a  reason  for  that  lady's  peculiar 
prerogative  of  dictation  in  home  and  other 
matters  in  which  she  could  consistently  claim 
a  voice. 

"  I  told  you  so,  but  you  never  take  my  ad- 
vi(?e,  you  know  so  much  ! "  was  her  reply, 
after  hearing  the  story  of  the  Long  Branch 
troubles. 

She  had  not  told  Harry  anything  of  the 
kind  ;  but  he  did  not  choose,  just  then,  to  es 
say  a  contradiction,  and,  after  a  hasty  inter 
view,  he  agreed  to  meet  her  at  the  Plymouth 
Rock  that  afternoon,  while  he  went  down  to 
the  office  to  report  progress  to  Fred. 

When  the  report  of  the  Committee  of  One 
was  duly  made,  the  Committee  of  One  was 
somewhat  surprised.  The  conversation  took 
place  a  little  after  two  o'clock,  while  the  stock 
sales  were  being  compared,  and  when  the 
office  was  a  busy  one. 

"  You  can  give  the  old  lady  my  room 
for  to-night,  then,"  said  Fred,  as  he  lighted 
a  fresh  cigar,  looking  at  Honeydew  with 
a  glance  which  may  have  had  some  pity 


A  DIFFERENCE.  149 

for  an  unfortunate  Benedict  in  its  significa 
tion. 

"  Why,  no,  she  can  room  with  Marian,  and 
I  can  go  in  with  you.  Nothing  of  the  kind, 
my  dear  fellow,  I  won't  listen  to  it,  there's 
room  enough,  somewhere,  for  us  all." 

Fred  thought  not,  and  Harry  insisted,  till, 
finally,  the  frank  avowal  was  made  that 
"  there  was  n't  room  in  the  house  for  all  of 
them,  if  Mrs.  Weatherby  was  to  become  a 
permanent  visitor." 

The  argument  did  not  admit  of  extension. 
Fred  knew  the  characteristics  of  dear  Mam 
ma,  and  he  was  not  slow  in  appreciating  the 
inconvenience  of  having  a  stranger  in  the 
house  on  such  an  emergency. 

"  Fact  is,  Harry,"  said  Fred,  after  a  pause 
of  ten  minutes  in  their  conversation,  "  I  do  n't 
care  much  about  the  arrangement,  if  the  old 
lady  is  to  have  her  finger  in  the  pie ;  I  do  n't 
like  her;  you  and  Marian  are  good  enough, 
and  Annie  ;  but  when  it  comes  to  your 
Duchess  of  Kent  of  a  mother-in-law,  excuse 
me,  please  ! " 

It  was  said  good-naturedly,  and  a  private 


I5O    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

engagement  in  the  City  was  pleaded  as  a  fur 
ther  excuse,  for  the  present.  They  were  two 
old  friends,  and  were  too  intimately  associat 
ed,  socially  and  financially,  to  quarrel,  and  so, 
Honeydew  accepted  the  situation  just  as  it 
was  forced  upon  him,  and  prepared  to  make 
every  excuse  but  the  correct  one,  to  account 
for  his  friend's  absence  from  the  cottage. 

The  trip  down  to  the  Branch,  with  the  big 
boat,  the  music,  the  Wall  street  fellows,  and 
the  sight  of  Marian  at  the  depot,  smoothed 
matters  nicely,  and  at  the  cottage  there  was  a 
recapitulation  of  all  the  adventures,  in  which 
narration  even  Maggie  Murphy  took  part,  and 
volunteered  the  information  that  her  sister  was 
expected  to  arrive  from  the  old  country  in  a 
few  days,  and  she  would  engage  her  to  come 
as  chambermaid  and  waitress,  for  twelve  dol 
lars  a  month. 

Marian,  Harry  and  dear  Mamma  accepted 
this  as  the  best  thing  to  be  done,  and  after  a 
day  or  two  at  the  sea- side,  dear  Mamma  went 
home  ;  Marian  became  more  composed  ;  Fred 
became  a  member  of  the  household,  and  the 
new  girl  arrived,  in  brogans  and  homespun. 


NORAH.  151 

Norah  was  willing,  but  stupid,  and  Maggie 
"  instructed  "  her  in  a  loud  tone  of  voice,  and, 
having  now  in  the  persons  of  herself  and 
sister,  the  absolute  control  of  the  household, 
she  did  not  hesitate  to  assert  her  authority. 

Still,  there  was  so  much  to  be  seen,  and  so 
much  to  do  at  the  Branch,  that  the  experi 
ment  was  relieved  from  part  of  its  objection 
able  features.  The  season  was  at  its  height — 
there  was  so  much  of  pleasantness  in  the 
whole  arrangement,  and  so  many  friends  at 
the  hotels,  that  the  worriment  of  the  house 
keeper  found  a  panacea  in  the  outside  attrac 
tions. 

Tom  Delivery  brought  down  his  horse,  and 
took  rooms  at  the  "West  End"  —  several 
friends  of  the  boys  were  quartered  at  the 
"  Continental  " — there  was  a  nice  party  cf 
congenial  folks  at  "  Rowland's,"  and  as  the 
Honey  dews  were  in  with  the  ring  of  Presi 
dential  admirers  who  clustered  in  the  cottages 
over  the  Pond,  it  was  pleasant  indeed.  Be 
sides,  Marian  had  been  presented  with  a 
pony-phaeton  and  a  pony,  as  a  birth-day  pre 
sent. 


152     THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

Judge  then  of  the  new  difficulty  which  be 
set  the  little  lady  when  she  came  back,  tearful 
and  anxious  after  a  turn  up  the  beach  in  the 
pony-phaeton,  and  told  Harry,  while  the 
tears  gave  place  to  indignation,  and  her  dark 
eyes  flashed  with  the  most  polite  of  society 
anger,  that  the  Fungus  family  had  deliber 
ately  "  cut "  her,  when  she  met  them  on  the 
beach-road. 

The  Fungus  family  were  a  portion  of  the 
nabob  population  of  Long  Branch  —  rich, 
fairly  educated,  a  little  "  mushroomy  "  as  to 
their  prestige,  and  claiming  to  have  ancestral 
pedigrees  away  back  among  the  records  of 
the  "  Irish  Kings;"  and  as  the  Fungus  family 
were  jolly,  good-humored,  generous  folks 
and  eligible  acquaintances,  the  event  worried 
Mrs.  Honeydew. 

"Cut  you,  my  dear  —  why,  you  must  be 
mistaken!  Only  a  week  ago  they  were  at 
the  West  End  hop,  and  you  have  not  seen 
them  since ;"  was  the  assuring  consolation 
which  Harry  attempted  to  give  his  outraged 
wife. 

"  But,  I  tell  you,  Harry,  that  they  cut  me — 


VISITORS   SNUBBED.  153 

flat— to-day,  on  the  drive.  They  passed  me 
twice,  and  they  did  not  return  my  bow,  at 
all." 

"  Do  n't  you  owe  them  a  call,  my  darling  ? 
You  know  these  watering-place  people  are 
sensitive,  sometimes." 

"  Indeed,  I  do  n't,  they  have  not  returned 
the  last  one  which  I  made  them." 

Just  at  that  moment,  Norah  was  seen  cross 
ing  the  hall,  and  so  Harry  called  her,  and  in 
quired  if  Mrs.  Fungus  had  been  at  the  house 
during  his  wife's  absence  —  whether  there 
were  any  cards  which  had  not  been  given  to 
Marian. 

The  girl  stared  at  him  in  a  stupid  way,  and 
then,  with  her  hands  clapped  down  at  her 
side,  looked  inquiringly  at  both  master  and 
mistress,  and  Harry  began  to  divine  the  pos 
sible  cause  of  the  difficulty. 

"  Ye  mane  was  there  anybody  here  while 
the  missus  was  out  wid  the  wagon  ?" 

"  Yes,  Norah,  that 's  what  I  mean — has  any 
body  called  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,  they  did  n't  call—  the   coachman 
rang  the  bell,  an'  the   ladies  stopped  in  the 
7* 


154    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

-wagon — that  high  sate  iv  a  coach,  wid  the 
two  men  sittin'  on  the  top  iv  it." 

"  Well,  what  was  the  message  ?  " 

"  Divil  a  word,  then,  sir — the  man  came 
up  to  the  door,  and  handed  me  a  bit  iv 
paper ;  I  told  him  there  was  nothing  for  him, 
an'  I  shut  the  door  in  his  dirthy  face,  I 
did !  " 

The  secret  was  out — the  polite  and  atten 
tive  waitress  had  insulted  the  visitors,  and  the 
Honeydews  were  "  out "  with  the  Fungus 
family,  and  were  not  invited  to  the  Fungus 
family's  entertainment  that  evening,  as  a  con 
sequence — and  the  Honeydews  knew  that 
there  was  an  entertainment,  for  everybody 
had  spoken  of  it,  and  lauch  had  received  the 
order  for  the  refreshments,  so,  at  least  lauch's 
Italian  porter  had  told  them,  when  he  brought 
the  Neapolitan  ice-cream  for  the  dessert,  that 
afternoon. 

Indignant  as  Marian  was,  she  could  say 
nothing — the  neglect  of  an  invitation  to  the 
evening  party  was  not  to  be  overlooked,  and 
the  affront  of  that  neglect  had  made  a  breach 
in  the  social  circle  which  could  not  be  easily 


WAITRESS'  ERRORS.  155 

spanned  over  by  the  hedging  process  of  mu 
tual  apology,  except  by  accident. 

The  stupidity  of  Maggie's  sister  was  amus 
ing,  after  all.  She  had  committed  more  er 
rors  in  the  dining-room  than  could  be  forgiv 
en,  however. 

How  she  had  mistaken  the  slices  of  lemon 
in  the  finger-bowls  for  an  attempt  at  lemonade, 
and  had  offered  a  teaspoon  and  the  pulverized 
sugar  to  the  guests  upon  the  occasion  of  the 
dinner-party  upon  the  next  Sunday,  how  she 
spilled  the  consomme,  soup  over  Marian's  pret 
ty  summer  silk,  at  that  same  dinner-party — 
how  she  put  the  water  in  the  champagne- 
glasses,  and  placed  the  cracked  ice  out  on  the 
piazza  to  be  kept  cool  —  and  how  she  had 
opened  the  ice-cream  to  taste  it,  and  had 
allowed  the  salt  to  creep  in  through  the  open 
ing  when  she  removed  the  cover  to  the  form — 
were  matters  to  be  remedied  by  experience, 
and  could  be  forgiven,  after  a  time  ;  but  when 
both  Maggie  and  she  insisted  upon  going  to 
early  church  every  Sunday  morning,  and 
finally  demanded  that,  for  lack  of  a  commoner 
conveyance,  they  must  be  sent  in  the  phaeton, 


I$6    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

and  Richard  did  not  get  back  to  the  house  in 
time  for  the  proper  breakfast-hour,  the  trou 
ble  became  worse,  and  within  a  fortnight,  one 
bright  Monday  morning,  both  of  the  servants 
packed  up,  ready  to  leave,  and  the  Long 
Branch  cottage  was  left  without  "  help,"  and 
with  Mrs.  Honeydew  not  well  enough  to 
undertake  the  work  herself;  and  the  family 
were  forced  to  "  colonize "  for  a  week,  by 
sleeping  at  home,  and  going  over  to  the  "  Con 
tinental  "  for  their  meals,  for  want  of  a  cook 
to  prepare  the  victuals,  or  waitress  to  serve 
them  at  the  table. 

And  in  two  days  more,  Harry  and  Marian 
had  packed  up  and  gone  away  from  the  Branch 
for  the  White  Mountains.  Coachman,  horses, 
and  all  had  been  sent  away  at  the  same  time. 
Fred  took  the  horses  off  to  Lake  Mahopac, 
where  he  determined  to  "  club  it "  with  some 
of  the  brokers,  and  as  Marian  needed  a  change, 
Harry  sent  part  of  the  trunks  off  to  the 

establishment  on  East  • Street,  and  gave 

Richard  the  privilege  of  sleeping  in  the  house, 
to  take  care  of  it,  and  kept  him  under  re 
duced  pay  in  the  meanwhile. 


OFF  AND  AWAY.  157 

For  the  next  few  weeks  the  letters  were 
dated  at  various  places,  all  the  way  from 
Centre  Harbor,  on  Lake  Winnipiseogee,  to 
North  Conway,  and  the  Honeydews  voted 
the  Profile  House  an  "  institution  " — far  ahead 
of  the  Long  Branch  cottage. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

BABY-KINGDOM. 

THE  winds  were  cool  at  the  mountains, 
and  there  had  been  early  snowflakes  on 
Mount  Washington,  before  the  Honeydews 
had  decided  to  turn  their  faces  homeward  ; 
in  fact,  they  had  stolen  one  more  week,  and 
were  glorying  in  shawls  at  Centre  Harbor, 
together  with  Tom  Delivery,  who  had  sailed 
up  the  Lake  one  afternoon  on  the  pretty  little 
steamer  Chocurua — the  boat  with  the  small 
cabin  aft,  the  squatty  pilot-house,  and  the 
very  long  smoke-stack — when  a  message 
reached  them  which  decided  their  action. 

The  man  Richard,  whom  they  had  left  in 

charge  of  the  house  in  East Street  had 

been  making  himself  very  much  at  home, 
and  high  revels  had  been  held  in  the  dining- 
room,  in  which  several  horse-trainers  and  one 
retired  pugilist  with  a  fair  sprinkling  of  the 


HOMEWARD-BOUND.  159 

servant-maids  from  the  neighborhood  had 
been  the  guests. 

How  long  the  "  goings  on  "  had  been  in 
order  was  not  exactly  known,  but  Mrs.  Weath- 
erby  had  made  the  discovery,  had  communi 
cated  the  news  in  a  confidential  letter — writ 
ten  in  good  English  by  one  of  the  daughters — • 
and  Marian  had  cried  over  the  letter,  for  she 
was  growing  so  delicate  in  health,  that  it 
became  necessary  for  them  to  return  to  the 
house  in  East Street,  and  once  more  com 
mit  themselves  to  the  care  of  servants. 

It  was  rough  weather  in  September,  by  the 
Fall  River  Route.  Point  Judith  had  a  pri 
vate  sea  of  its  own  always  on  hand,  and  so 
they  preferred,  from  respect  to  Marian's  com 
fort,  or  her  delicate  condition,  the  ride  by 
rail  from  Boston,  rather  than  one  of  the  big 
staterooms  and  the  chance  of  sea-sickness  on 
the  Bristol  or  the  Providence. 

How  strange  the  streets  of  the  City  seemed 
to  Marian,  as  she  took  a  carriage  to  go  up-town 
from  the  d6pot !  So  they  rattled  away  home, 
with  one  of  the  trunks — the  big  one — strapped 
upon  the  coach,  and  the  rest  of  the  "  traps  " 


l6o    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

coming  by  express,  including  an  assortment  of 
fishing-rods  which  would  have  done  credit  to 
a  new  frontispiece  to  one  of  Murray's  Guide- 
Books  to  the  Adirondacks — Murray,  the  elo 
quent  divine  of  Boston,  who  told  such  mar 
vellous  stories  of  the  blissful  beauties  of  the 
mountains,  and  set  half  the  school-girls  of 
Boston  and  vicinity  mountain-crazy,  and  al 
most  made  a  "  corner "  in  heavy  boots  and 
camping  -  out  equipments  in  the  stores  on 
Washington  and  Tremont  Streets,  a  few 
years  ago. 

Richard  had  departed,  and  the  keys  of  the 
house  were  in  possession  of  Mrs.  Weatherby, 
to  whose  maternal  residence  the  Honeydews 
went  on  arrival — that  is,  Marian  staid  there, 
while  Harry  and  Tom  made  themselves  com 
fortable  at  the  other  house,  to  receive  the 
trunks  and  baggage,  and  breakfasted  at  Del- 
monico's  in  the  morning. 

For  nearly  a  week  after,  there  was  a  ser 
vant-siege  at  the  front  door.  An  advertise 
ment  which  Harry  had  inserted  in  the  Herald 
brought  no  less  than  twenty  applicants  for 
the  cookship,  and  as  many  again  for  the  berth 


A  ROMANTIC  STORY.  l6l 

of  chambermaid  and  waitress.  Marian  had 
profited  a  little  by  her  experience,  and  after 
several  changes,  which  brought  four  cooks 
into  the  house  and  sent  the  same  number  out 
of  it,  the  cold  weather  set  in,  and  the  first 
snows  of  the  season  were  beginning  to  fall, 
when  an  English  girl  became  the  last  new 
cook. 

Her  history  was  somewhat  romantic.  She 
had  run  away  from  .home,  had  come  to 
America  nearly  two  years  before,  had  set  up 
a  small  pie  and  cake  establishment  on  one  of 
the  East-side  Avenues,  and  had  failed  in  her 
undertaking,  because,  as  she  frequently  aver 
red,  "she  gave  too  much  for  the  money." 
So  Letty  (short  for  Letitia,  she  said,)  gave  up 
the  shop,  and  became  the  mistress  of  the 
kitchen  in  the  Honeydew  establishment. 

Yet  Letty  had  her  faults.  She  was  literary 
in  her  taste,  and  would  sit  up  late  o"  nights 
reading  "  standard  literature,"  in  the  shape  of 
cheap  novels  ;  and  as  she  "  burned  the  mid 
night"  gas,  was  often  more  than  commonly 
sleepy  in  the  morning,  and  would  insist,  dur 
ing  the  day,  upon  every  possible  occasion,  on 


1 62    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

detailing  to  Marian  "  'ow  they  did  things  at 
'ome,"  and  threw  in  very  frequent  quotations 
from  the  late  novels,  or  very  free  renderings 
of  the  poets,  while  at  work  in  the  kitchen,  to 
the  horror  of  the  up-stairs  girl,  who  was  un 
doubted  Irish,  and  carried  the  natural  hatred 
of  the  English  with  her  in  her  associations 
with  the  cook. 

Notwithstanding  the  temptations  of  Harry's 
book-case,  and  notwithstanding  the  inevitable 
discussions  upon  the  comparative  differences 
between  the  upper  society  of  England  and 
America,  to  which  Marian  was  subjected  in 
the  course  of  her  daily  interviews  with  Letty, 
Letty  was  a  success  in  some  respects,  and  was 
accepted  as  the  best  one  of  all  the  servants 
since  the  return  of  the  Honeydews  from  the 
mountains. 

Besides,  she  seemed  so  capable  of  giving 
advice  to  Marian,  upon  several  important 
subjects,  and  was  so  handy  about  the  house 
generally,  that  the  finding  of  "The  Three 
Spaniards  "  (an  illustrated  copy)  on  the  shelf 
among  the  dishes,  was  considered  a  matter  of 
little  consequence. 


ANTE-PARENTAL  NERVOUSNESS.  163 

And  now  it  was  that  Harry  Honeydew 
found  the  state  of  affairs  in  the  household 
more  than  ordinarily  important ;  the  very 
frequent  visits  of  the  sisters-in-law,  and  the 
daily  presence  of  Mrs.  Weatherby,  who  float 
ed  about  the  house  from  one  end  to  the  other, 
keeping  a  sharp  eye  upon  Marian,  told  him 
that  the  first  crisis  of  their  married  life  was 
approaching.  He  rather  liked  the  affectionate 
and  anxious  inquiry  after  Mrs.  Honeydew's 
health,  and  became  very  nervous  when  he 
went  away  from  home  in  the  morning — asked, 
no  less  than  three  times  each  day,  that  a  de 
spatch  be  sent  to  him  "  if  any  thing  particular 
happened  in  his  absence,"  and  felt  that  dear 
little  dark-eyed  Marian  needed  all  his  tender 
ness,  all  his  care,  and  all  his  possible  indul 
gence  towards  herself — and  expected  it  to 
wards  her  dear  Mamma. 

And  then,  away  along  towards  the  Christ 
mas  time,  after  the  heater  in  the  cellar  had  been 
set  a-going,  and  after  an  additional  personage 
had  been  added  to  the  household,  in  the  person 
of  a  very  fidgetty  and  very  reticent  middle- 
aged  lady — who  came  splendidly  recommend- 


164    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 


ed  by  a  particular  friend,  and  had  withstood 
the  test  of  a  critical  cross-examination  from 
dear  Mamma — there  wa's  a  present  sent,  very 
early  one  cold  morning,  by  one  of  the  kindly 
neighbors,  who  had  become  a  visitor  to  the 

house. 

• 

It  was  a  large  white,  pin -cushion,  em 
broidered  in  satin,  and  bordered  with  blue, 
and  on  it,  studded  in  bright  pins,  were  the 
words : 


"W  E  L  C  O 
LITTLE 


CHAPTER   XV. 

BABY'S  CABINET. 

COMING,  with  the  snowflakes,  in  the  bleak 
cold  month  of  December,  the  Baby-King,  in 
all  the  glorious  household  majesty  and  pretti- 
ncss  of  a  chubby  little  nose  —  which  had 
scarcely  come  to  be  a  nose,  it  was  so  short 
and  stubby — a  round  head,  with  a  knot  of 
funny  dark  hair  struggling  for  existence  on 
the  top  of  it ;  pretty,  straight  limbs  and  dim 
pled  hands,  and  a  pair  of  chubby  little  feet, 
which  were  eternally  playing  at  cross  pur 
poses  with  each  other,  had  set  up,  without 
any  knowledge  on  his  partr  the  most  perfect 
of  Baby  Kingdoms,  and  had  been  provided 
with  a  cabinet,  without  the  trouble  of  select 
ing  the  members. 

With  the  coming  of  the  "  Little  Stranger," 
whose  advent  had  been  welcomed  in  pins  on 

the   pin-cushion,  there  had  been  a  change — 

(•65) 


1 66    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

sudden  in  its  development,  notwithstanding 
its  long  expectation — and  all  the  necessary 
preparation  which  had  been  made  for  the 
occasion  of  an  heir  to  the  Honeydevv  estate 
in  bonds  and  personal  property. 

Baby-King,  without  an  articulate  word,  and 
Baby's  Cabinet  ruled  the  household.  Harry 
Honeydew  was  permitted  to  have  the  proper 
solicitude  for  Marian,  and  a  commendable 
anxiety  as  to  the  baby,  but  beyond  that,  he 
scarcely  seemed  to  be  an  integral  part  of  the 
household,  to  say  nothing  of  his  loss  of  au 
thority  as  the  head  of  the  establishment. 

A  third  story  back  room,  furnished  with  a 
cot-bed,  and  a  small  mirror,  with  a  washstand 
and  a  small  table,  were  his  designated  quar 
ters.  Mrs.  Weatherby  found  it  necessary  to 
take  possession  of  the  spare-room,  in  order  to 
be  near  to  Marian.  Marian's  room  was  kept 
dark  and  silent ;  the  front-door  bell  was  partly 
muffled,  that  its  sound  might  not  disturb  the 
young  mother,  who  looked  so  pretty,  with 
her  pale  face  and  her  dark  eyes,  and  her 
brown  hair ;  and  Baby's  Cabinet  was  in  con 
tinual  session,  with  closed  doors. 


MRS.   WRACKETT.  l6/ 

Whether  the  nurse  or  dear  Mamma  was 
the  "  prime  minister,"  was  a  question  open 
to  considerable  argument.  It  was  one  of 
those  Lord  Dundreary  things,  "  which  no 
fellow  could  find  out,"  and  which  Harry  did 
not  consider  it  politic  to  try  to  settle. 

The  professional  qualifications  of  Mrs. 
Wrackett  (the  nurse)  were  her  recommen 
dations  to  the  favor  of  dear  Mamma,  who 
had,  with  commendable  ( !  )  forethought, 
undertaken  the  management  of  the  house, 
and  the  welfare  of  Marian  Honeydew  dur 
ing  the  interesting  period  which  reached 
its  height  with  the  present  of  the  pin-cush 
ion  worked  on  white  satin  and  blue,  and  or 
namented  with  the  pin-head  inscription. 
The  full  weight  of  these  qualifications  be 
ing  duly  taken  into  consideration,  there 
were  certain  peculiarities  and  afflictions  to 
which  Mrs.  Wrackett  was  subject,  which 
were  hardly  characteristic  of  that  inevitable 
temporary  attachment  to  the  household  of 
young  married  people,  known  as  the  nurse. 

She  had  reached  an  age,  and  claimed  so 
vast  an  amount  of  experience,  that  she  some- 


l68    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  .THE  PERIOD. 

times  ran  in  conflict  with  dear  Mamma's 
experience  and  her  way  of  doing  things  ;  as 
a  consequence,  there  were  several  animated 
discussions  in  the  spare-room,  in  which  many 
questions  at  issue  were  submitted  to  the  Doc 
tor,  who,  by  the  way,  failed  to  win  the  entire 
regard  of  Mrs.  Weatherby  by  nearly  always 
giving  his  decision  in  favor  of  the  nurse,  who 
was  his  especial  appointee. 

Mrs.  Wrackett  was  crochetty  and -fretful, 
and  somewhat  rheumatic.  The  halls  were 
cold,  she  said,  and  she  exacted  more  attention 
from  the  cook  and  waitress  than  either  of 
them  were  inclined  freely  to  give.  Her 
rheumatic  ailment  was  the  source  of  contin 
ual  exclamation,  and  she  went  about  the  house, 
on  cold  or  damp  days,  with  her  limbs  bound 
up  in  red  flannel  and  brown  paper,  and  con 
sidered  Martell  brandy  and  salt  the  only 
proper  remedies  for  her  affliction. 

She  had  brought  with  her  a  trunk  and  a 
bandbox,  as  .though  she  proposed  to  make  a 
long  stay  of  it,  and  really,  in  some  instances, 
worried  the  young  mother  more  by  her  fid- 
getty  gyrations  around  the  room  and  bedside 


PATERNAL  PRIVILEGES.  169 

than  the  visitors  who  wanted  to  see  the  baby 
and  were  admitted  to  the  room  of  the  inter 
esting  invalid. 

And  dear  Mamma,  in  her  authoritative 
German  -  English  voice,  would  insist  upon 
holding  conversations  upon  every  possible 
topic,  in  the  sick-room,  until  Marian  was 
more  than  once  forced  to  ask  her  to  quit  the 
apartment,  and  was  found  by  Harry,  upon 
his  return  home  at  night,  in  a  state  of  feverish 
excitement  bordering  on  the  dangerous. 

The  joint-proprietorship  which  he  claimed 
in  the  infantile  Honeydew  seemed  to  give 
him  no  privileges.  He  was  allowed  to  turn 
down  the  covers  very  carefully,  and  take  a 
look  at  the  little  helpless  head  lying  close  to 
Marian,  and  he  was  allowed  to  make  a  few 
affectionate  inquiries  as  to  the  condition  of 
his  dear  little  wife,  and  then  he  was  sent  off 
to  the  library,  or  the  parlor,  or  the  dining- 
room,  and  as  he  did  n't  want  to  go  out  to  the 
club  and  play  billiards,  he  generally  read 
over  all  the  papers  and  the  magazines,  and 
commenced  the  second  reading  of  Irving's 
works,  by  way  of  amusement. 
8 


I/O    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

He  was  sitting  in  the  library  one  evening, 
just  after  New  Years,  and  was  about  as  com 
fortable  as  a  man  could  be,  with  slippers  and 
smoking-jacket,  and  a  good  cigar,  when  there 
were  noises  heard  through  the  speaking-tube 
hear  him,  which  caused  him  to  listen.  With 
his  ear  to  the  mouthpiece,  he  could  hear  very 
distinctly  all  that  was  being  said,  or  was  going 
on  in  the  kitchen. 

"  I  tell  ye,  Katey,  if  that  ould  woman  comes 
fussin'  around  here  to-night,  wantin'  her  black 
tea  sthrong,  an'  her  toast,  all  for  herself,  I  '11 
give  her  a  blast  that  '11  settle  her  for  awhile  ; 
an'  I  '11  give  the  master  notice  that  my 
month  's  up  to-morrow,  an'  I  'm  going  !" 

The  cook  was  the  speaker. 

"  An'  ye  're  right,  so  ye  are  ;  ye  're  right  in- 
tirely  ;  divil  a  word  iv  her  blatherin'  would  I 
stand,  indade !  She 's  as  fussy  as  an  ould 
witch,  and  as  crass-timpered  as  an  ould  fairy 
in  the  Killiloo  bogs,  so  she  is  !" 

Katey,  the  chambermaid,  was  the  speaker 
this  time. 

The  conversation  overheard  by  Harry  told 
a  true  story  to  him.  Another  rebellion  was 


A  MODEST  QUESTION.  171 

upon  the  eve  of  breaking  out,  and  would 
soon  be  forced  to  a  decided  complexion.  He 
could  hear  the  creaking  shoes  of  the  nurse 
upon  the  stairway,  as  she  came  down. 

Away  went  the  paper;  he  gave  an  extraor 
dinarily  strong  pull  at  his  cigar,  by  way  of 
fortifying  himself  to  resist  an  attack,  should 
it  be  made,  and  called  the  woman  into  the 
library. 

She  was  carrying  a  bowl  and  a  plate,  on 
her  way  to  the  kitchen,  and  she  sat  both  down 
upon  a  library  chair,  and  then  took  possession 
of  another  one,  leaving  Harry  to  stand  while 
he  addressed  her. 

"  Mrs.  Wrackett,"  said  Harry,  in  a  quiet 
tone,  "  how  much  longer  do  you  intend  to 
remain  here  ?  Baby  is  more  than  a  month 
old,  you  know,  and  Mrs.  Honeydew  has  been 
down  stairs  and  about  the  house  for  almost  a 
week." 

Mrs.  Wrackett  stared  at  him  in  an  inquiring 
sort  of  way,  and  then  answering  with  a  de 
termined  emphasis  on  a  part  of  the  sentence, 
replied  : 

"  As  long  as  Mrs.  Weathcrby  wants  to  keep 
me,  to  be  sure  !" 


172    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

"  Mrs.  Weatherby,  eh  !  I  merely  wanted 
to  know — that  was  all,"  said  Harry,  pausing 
just  long  enough  to  show  the  nurse  that  he 
desired  no  further  conversation,  and  then,  as 
she  picked  up  the  bowl  and  the  plate  and  left 
the  room,  he  slowly  went  up-stairs. 

Marian  was  sitting  in  the  big  chair,  baby 
was  asleep  in  the  new  cradle,  with  the  blue 
hangings  and  the  lace  upon  it,  the  drop-light 
had  been  turned  well-down,  and  was  nicely 
shaded,  and  the  room  looked  pretty,  warm, 
and  comfortable. 

"  Well,  darling,  you  're  tired  of  this,  I  sup 
pose,"  was  Marian's  languid  salutation  ;  "  come 
over  here  and  kiss  me." 

Harry  did  kiss  her,  and  more  than  once  ; 
and  then,  as  there  was  just  the  least  possible 
gurgling  noise  from  the  little  fellow  in  the 
cradle,  he  stepped  lightly  over  to  it,  gave  it  a 
few  pushes  with  his  hand,  to  set  it  a-rocking; 
baby  became  quiet,  and  he  sat  down  upon 
the  floor,  at  Marian's  feet,  to  have  a  talk. 

It  was  the  first  chance  that  he  had  found  to 
talk  to  Marian  for  many  weeks,  and  their  new 
household  treasure,  lying  asleep  in  his  little 
cradle,  was  a  new  bond  of  union  between  them. 


LITTLE   TREASURE.  173 

Mrs.  Weatherby  had  gone  home,  to  be 
absent  a  day  or  two,  and  Marian  and  he  were 
left  to  talk  over  their  plans  as  they  saw  fit, 
and  to  discuss  Mrs.  Wrackett  if  they  deemed 
it  proper. 

Harry  did  ;  and  the  result  of  the  interview 
was,  that  the  nurse  should  go  away  the  next 
day.  A  young  girl,  who  knew  how  to  do  it, 
was  to  be  engaged  to  take  care  of  the  baby, 
and  Harry  was  to  give  up  the  poorly  fur 
nished  third-story  back-room,  and  return  to 
his  proper  quarters. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

A  NEW   REGIME. 

WITH  the  new  era  in  life  which  had  opened 
unto  Harry  Honeydew,  quite  with  the  Xmas 
chimes,  came  a  determination  that,  with  the 
new  responsibilities  of  life,  there  should  be  a 
change  in  the  entire  management  of  the 
household  affairs  in  the  Honeydew  residence. 

There  was  no  longer  any  direct  occasion 
for  the  interference  of  Mrs.  Johanna  Weath- 
erby  ;  Marian  had  passed  into  the  cares  of 
maternity,  the  agony  of  expectation  of  both 
the  father  and  the  mother  of  the  young 
Honeydew  was  long  over,  and  there  was  a 
new  aspect  to  every  apartment,  from  the 
library  to  the  third  story. 

Angel  wings  had  spread  themselves  over 
the  portals,  and  there  was  an  angel  presence 
in  the  house. 

There  was  less  of  cigar  smoke  in  the 
(174) 


LITTLE   PRESENTS.  1/5 

library,  and  there  were  more  of  newspapers 
and  magazines  in  Marian's  pretty  bed-cham 
ber,  while  the  hundred  or  more  little  things 
which  were  found  necessary  to  the  new  exis 
tence  quite  filled  up  the  odd  nooks  and  cor 
ners,  and  all  the  airy  nothings,  in  the  way  of 
little  worked  socks,  comb-and -brush  holders, 
and  an  accumulation  of  "  baby  baskets  " — 
every  body  seemed  to  think  the  little  fellow 
deserved  a  baby-basket,  well  equipped — trans 
formed  apartments  which  were  often  quite 
barren  of  ornaments  into  the  real  pictures  of 
home  life. 

There  was  more  than,  the  dawning  of  a 
new  existence  to  Marian  Honeydew,  and  when 
the  long  winter  evenings  came,  there  was  no 
expenditure  for  reserved  seats  at  the  opera 
and  theatre,  two  or  three  times  a  week,  for 
there  was  work  for  Marian  at  home,  and  she 
"  did  n't  like  to  leave  the  baby." 

And  so,  Harry  Honeydew  told,  with  a  fair 
degree  of  pride,  to  all  his  Wall  Street  com 
panions,  that  there  was  a  highly  successful 
baby  at  his  house,  and  the  usual  compliments 
of  the  Stock  Board  donation  upon  such  events 


1/6    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

had  been  placed  in  a  little  ebony  box,  and 
put  away  somewhere,  till  baby  should  be  big 
enough  to  play  with  it. 

But  then,  there  was  a  dark  side  to  the  pic 
ture.  Babyhood,  in  its  beautiful  innocence, 
was  the  distillation  of  happiness  ;  but  inno 
cent  babyhood  soon  came  to  be  troublesome, 
and  the  nurse  question  was  found  a  hard  one 
to  bring  to  a  satisfactory  solution. 

That  the  women  who  hired  out  as  child's 
nurses  were  unfit  for  the  position,  soon  be 
came  evident  to  the  Honeydews,  and  that 
the  proper  person  to  'tend  the  baby  was  the 
one  thing  to  be  desired,  was  evident  at  the 
same  time. 

Poor  Marian  !  What  with  the  cares  of  the 
house,  the  clashing  of  interest  between  the 
cook  and  the  chambermaid,  and  the  constant 
disagreements  with  the  nurse,  there  was 
enough  of  annoyance  to  make  her  maternal 
cares  hard  enough  to  bear. 

Domesticated  Harry  had  been  forced  to 
take  lessons  in  taking  care  of  the  baby,  which 
he  never  supposed  that  he  would  be  taught 
that  winter!  He  had  become  an  unwilling 


"  OLD   HOLLAND    GIN,"  ETC.  1 77 

proficient  in  the  heating  of  milk  ;  and  he  was 
more  familiar  with  the  aromatic  qualities  of 
"  Old  Holland  Gin,"  when  warm,  than  he 
had  been  during  the  Delmonico  season  at  the 
height  of  the  excitement  in  Saint  Paul,  Rock 
Island  or  North-Western.  He  became  a  profi 
cient,  also,  in  herbs,  and,  to  a  certain  extent, 
herbivorous  ;  he  knew  catnip  the  moment  he 
saw  it,  and  could  not  be  mistaken  in  its  taste, 
and  as  to  goose-grease,  he  never  before  real 
ized  how  necessary  the  goose  was,  when  chil 
dren  were  to  be  reared,  and  the  attacks  of 
croup  were  imminently  dangerous. 

Throughout  the  whole  of  the  cold  winter 
months,  and  away  into  March,  it  was  a  siege 
with  the  baby,  and  the  infantile  troubles  which 
the  young  Honeydew  experienced  were  such 
as  only  helpless  babyhood  could  tell  of,  if 
helpless  babyhood  could  carry  its  recollec^. 
tions  into  after  life,  and  then  detail  them  in  a 
story  of  babyhood  sorrows. 

Marian  paid  several  successive  nurse-maids 
for  doing  work,  and  was  compelled  to  do  it 
herself,  and  the  last  of  them  all,  the  "  little 
girl'7  whom  dear  Mamma  engaged,  fell  asleep 


1/8    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

over  the  cradle,  early  in  the  afternoon,  leaving 
the  baby  only  partly  covered  by  the  blanket, 
and  allowed  him  to  take  a  cold  in  conse 
quence,  which  lasted  him  for  a  month  ;  and  the 
number  of  bottles  which  were  broken,  the 
amount  of  linen  which  was  scorched  in  the 
drying,  and  the  number  of  dishes  which  were 
fractured  in  being  carried  up-stairs,  were 
more  in  their  aggregate  value,  than  the  girl's 
wages. 

And  then,  when  the  spring  had  opened,  and 
there  was  a  real  prospect  of  being  able  to 
go  out,  Marian  engaged  an  "  accomplished  " 
nurse  to  take  charge  of  the  baby,  and  the 
young  woman  came,  early  on  a  Monday 
morning. 

Maria— it  was  a  high-sounding  name,  less 
frivolous  than  Katey,  less  national  than  Brid 
get,  Ellen  or  Mary,  and  more  dignified  than 
Susan — was  a  good-looking  girl,  born  in  Ire 
land.  She  had  been  in  this  country  for  ten 
years,  and  claimed  to  be  almost  an  American, 
and  consequently  several  degrees  ahead  of  the 
ordinary  run  of  nursery-maids,  for  which 
"  qualification  "  she  exacted  not  less  than  two 


SPECIFIC    DUTIES.  1/9 

dollars  per  month  advanced  wages,  and  finally 
compromised  with  Marian  for  one. 

Claiming,  then,  to  be  a  good  nurse,  she  re 
fused  to  do  anything  else  than  attend  to  the 
baby  ;  and  it  is  truth  to  say,  that  she  complied 
with  the  exact  intention  of  the  refusal,  by  doing 
that  and  nothing  more,  even  to  seeing  that 
Marian's  room  was  in  order,  and  suggested  that, 
as  she  had  to  be  with  the  baby,  she  would  not 
sleep  in  the  room  with  the  other  girls,  and  took 
possession  of  the  temporary  quarters  which 
Harry  had  occupied  in  the  third  story  back 
room.  She  evidently  meant  to  stay  ;  her  bag 
gage  did  not  consist  of  one  trunk  and  a  band 
box,  but  there  were  two  trunks,  marked  each 
with  her  name  in  full,  and  they  came  by  city 
express  instead  of  being  brought  by  four  small 
boys,  as.  was  generally  the  case. 

She  unpacked  both  trunks  immediately  on 
her  arrival,  and  aroused  Marian  from  her  nap 
and  the  baby  from  his  sleep,  by  driving  nails 
into  the  wall  of  the  third  story  back  room,  in 
order  to  hang  up  her  clothing,  as  there  was  n't 
space  enough  on  the  row  of  hooks  behind  the 
door,  and  surprised  Marian,  when  she  came 


180    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

down,  by  an  application  for  a  hair  mattress 
instead  of  the  husk  one  which  had  been  pro 
vided  for  her  bed. 

This  application  was  referred  to  Harry,  and 
Harry  refused  ;  so  Maria  was  fain  to  be  con 
tented  with  the  husk  bed,  and  accepted  the 
situation  with  no  direct  complaint,  but  with  a 
sulky  look  which  betrayed  a  high  temper  in  a 
temporary  subjection,  perhaps  for  a  politic 
purpose. 

Of  a  higher  grade  than  the  rest  of  the  ser 
vants,  Maria  carried  herself  into  the  kitchen 
with  a  little  more  than  becoming  dignity,  and 
carried  the  dishes  out,  when  she  needed  to 
take  them  up-stairs,  with  an  air  of  superiority 
which  placed  her  on  no  very  good  terms  with 
the  rest  of  the  servant-household,  and  very 
seriously  interfered  with  her  usefulness  in 
doing  the  washing  and  the  ironing  which  was 
necessary  to  baby's  clothes. 

Marian  had  waited  more  than  an  hour, 
watching  baby  while  he  was  asleep,  one  morn 
ing,  while  Maria  was  at  work  ironing  baby's 
linen,  down  in  the  kitchen.  She  had  rung  the 
bell  once  already,  expecting  the  nurse  to 


A  PASSAGE  AT  ARMS.  l8l 

come  up-stairs,  and  was  nervously  impatient 
at  the  delay.  Her  hat  and  cloak  were  upon 
the  bed,  and  she  was  waiting  for  Maria  to 
come,  that  she  might  help  her  with  her 
cloaking  and  button  those  little  one-and-a- 
half-sized  Polish  boots :  when  she  heard  a 
great  noise  upon  the  stairs,  a  war  of  voices, 
and  chamber-maid  and  nurse-maid  dashed  in 
to  the  room. 

The  faces  of  two  second-rate  criminal  law 
yers,  arguing  a  motion  before  a  police-justice 
would  not  have  been  more  expressive  of  con 
tempt  towards  each  other,  than  the  counte 
nances  of  the  two  servants,  upon  that  occa 
sion. 

Honora  MacMullan,  the  chambermaid  and 
waitress,  being  just  three  steps  in  advance  of 
the  nurse-maid,  in  coming  up-stairs,  first 
reached  the  door  of  Marian's  room,  and  with 
both  fists  brought  down  upon  it  with  a  simul 
taneous  thump,  she  threw  it  open,  and  came 
into  Marian's  presence. 

"  Ye  're  betther  than  /  am,  are  yt,  ye  Wex- 
ford  tramper,  ye !"  exclaimed  the  irate  Hon 
ora,  pointing  to  Maria,  who  had  followed  her 


182    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

into  the  room.  "  Better  than  /  am,  indade — 
ye  niver  saw  a  cloth  upon  yer  table  till  ye 
came  here.  See  here,  ma'am  ?" 

She  addressed  her  conversation  to  Marian, 
who  had  by  this  time  reached  the  cradle  and 
was  rocking  the  baby,  to  prevent  his  waking, 
and  her  only  answer  to  the  girl,  was  an  inquir 
ing  look ;  she  was  too  much  frightened  to 
speak. 

"  Do  ye  hear  me,  ma'am  ?"  continued  Hon- 
ora,  in  a  louder  voice.  "  I  won't  take  her  im- 
pertence  any  longer — it  was  rit  me,  ma'am, 
that  done  it !  'T  was  this  su/tajrior  nurse  ye 
have — an'  the  policeman  !" 

"  Did  what,  'Norah.  What  's  the  trouble 
with  you  both  ?"  Marian  finally  mustered  cour 
age  enough  to  ask,  quite  at  loss  to  see  the 
cause  of  the  difficulty,  and  nervous  enough  to 
cry,  from  genuine  vexation.  "  What  is  all  this 
about?" 

"  Why,  the  ale  in  the  cellar  ma'am  !  only  a 
week  ago,  Mr.  Honeydew  brought  home  the 
dozen  bottles  for  his  own  drinkin'  an'  yours, 
and  now  they  're  all  gone  but  two,  an'/  know 
where  !  " 


A  VISITING  POLICEMAN.  183 

The  quarrel  between  the  girls  had  been 
brewing  for  some  time,  and  had  finally  reach 
ed  its  breaking  out.  'Norah  MacMullan  was 
red-faced  and  voluble,  while  Maria  was  white- 
faced  and  silent,  though  her  eyes  were  glori 
ously  large  and  brilliant  with  pent-up  anger 
flashing  in  their  glances,  as  she  looked  towards 
the  angry  chambermaid. 

"  What  policeman  do  you  mean  ?"  asked 
Marian,  when  there  was  a  temporary  lull  in  the 
domestic  gale  which  was  blowing — "  What 
about  the  ale  ?" 

"  Why,  ma'am,  the  other  night,  when  ye 
were  out  wid  the  master,  an'  when  ye  left  the 
baby  wid  Maria,  she  came  down  into  the  din- 
in'  room,  and  sat  there  wid  the  policeman,  an' 
gave  him  the  ale  to  dhrink,  an'  took  the  illigant 
cigars  from  the  master's  case  for  the  dirty 
blackguard  to  smoke !" 

Maria  could  make  no  reply,  or  would  not. 
The  baby  was  set  a-crying,  and  the  war  of 
words  continued  for  nearly  ten  minutes,  until 
Norah,  exasperated  to  indiscretion  by  the 
nurse's  silence,  struck  her  in  the  face,  with  the 
back  of  her  hand,  and  there  was  a  scene  of 


1 84    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

hair  pulling  which  was  only  ended  by  the  in 
terference  of  the  cook,  when  Marian  called  her 
upstairs,  as  she  herself  ran,  crying  and  fright 
ened,  into  the  next  room,  carrying  the  baby  in 
her  arras,  towards  a  place  of  safety  ;  for  the  bat 
tle-ground  of  the  feminine  pugilistic  encounter 
was  very  close  to  the  dear  baby's  cradle. 

The  damage  done  in  the  short  scrimmage 
was  not  heavy,  but  ridiculous ;  there  were  a 
dozen  of  hair-pins  left  lying  on  the  carpet,  a 
linen  collar  and  a  silk  ribbon  torn  to  pieces, 
and  when  the  girls  went  out  of  the  room,  Miss 
Honora  MacMullan's  left  cheek  was  marked 
with  the  prints  of  Maria's  finger-nails,  and 
Maria's  hair  was  hanging  down  her  back,  and 
every  button  about  the  upper  part  of  her  dress 
loose  and  unfastened. 

To  add  to  Marian's  discomfort,  the  door-bell 
rang,  and  visitors  were  announced — a  lady 
with  whom  she  had  made  an  engagement  to 
go  shopping  had  called  for  her,  and,  after  being 
admitted  by  the  cook,  found  Marian  in  her 
room,  clasping  her  baby  in  her  arms,  her  face 
pale  and  lips  trembling,  and  the  baby  crying 
in  spasmodic  sobs. 


LIQUORS   FOR  TWO.  185 

There  was  no  shopping  that  day — the  nerv 
ous  excitement  of  the  affray  to  which  she  had 
been  a  witness,  occasioned  so  severe  a  head 
ache  that  poor  little  Mrs.  Honeydew  was  com 
pelled  to  go  to  bed  for  the  rest  of  the  day, 
after  ordering  both  of  the  fighting  ladies  from 
the  house,  and  her  good-natured  lady  friend 
volunteered  to  take  care  of  the  child  and  re 
main  with  her  till  Mr.  Honeydew's  return. 

An  examination  of  the  wine-closet  told  the 
truth  of  the  story  which  'Norah  had  begun. 
The  ale  had  been  pretty  well  used  up — several 
quart  bottles  of  "  Napoleon's  Cabinet  "  were 
missing  from  the  champagne  shelf,  and  nearly 
a  whole  box  of  fine  Gonzalez  Africana  cigars 
had  been  given  away  or  smoked  up.  The  ac 
complished  nurse  had  been  in  the  habit  of  en 
tertaining  several  friends,  upon  the  evenings 
when  the  Honeydews  were  out,  and  it  was 
discovered  that  she  had  employed  a  locksmith 
upon  the  Avenue  to  make  a  duplicate  key  to 
the  wine-closet,  by  pleading  the  excuse  that 
Mr.  Honeydew  had  lost  his  own  key  and  had 
instructed  her  to  order  a  new  one  to  be  made. 

Several  of  Marian's  fine   laces  were   also 


1 86    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

missing,  and  an  examination  of  the  trunks  in 
the  girl's  room  showed  that,  when  she  had 
gone  away,  she  had  left  only  a  few  things  in 
them,  and  one  of  them  was  made  to  appear 
heavy  by  being  filled  with  some  old  pamph 
lets,  taken  from  the  upper  hall  closet. 

Whatever  the  policeman  knew  of  the  mat 
ter,  he  would  tell  nothing.  .  Honeydew  even 
threatened  to  complain  of  him  to  the  Com 
missioners,  but  the  fellow  insisted  that  all  visits 
which  he  had  made  to  the  house  had  been 
when  he  was  not  on  duty — that  he  knew 
nothing  of  the  stolen  articles,  and  that  if 
Honeydew  could  n't  look  out  for  his  wine  and 
.keep  it  properly  guarded  under  lock  and  key, 
it  was  n't  the  fault  of  the  man  who  helped  to 
drink  it,  and  added,  in  a  very  knowing  way, 
that,  "if  he  didn't  want  to  have  a  fuss  in  the 
papers  about  it,"  Honeydew  had  "  better  let 
that  'ere  job  alone  !  " 

To  be  the  central  character  in  a  newspaper 
paragraph  under  the  heading  of 

A   DISHONEST    SERVANT 
Champagne  and  Cigars  for  two 

in  an  evening  paper,  under  the  heading  of  the 


FAMILY  DISCOURAGEMENTS.  l8/ 

police  reports  would  have  been  far  more  an 
noying  to  Harry  Honeydew  than  to  suffer 
the  loss  of  the  stolen  articles,  and  the  com 
plaint  would  not  have  been  easily  proven — 
so  Harry  put  away  the  girl's  trunks  in  the 
garret  as  mementoes  of  the  experience,  and 
Marian  indulged  in  a  good  cry,  when  she  told 
the  story,  and  grew  sick  and  pale,  before  the 
end  of  the  week,  from  confinement  to  the 
bed-room  and  the  care  of  the  child,  and  the 
labor  of  having  to  do  nearly  all  of  the  up 
stairs  work,  while  she  was  changing  servants. 

Her  pale,  sad  face  worried  Harry.  To  see 
his  little  wife  the  victim  of  such  a  series  of 
disasters  was  more  than  he  could  bear. 

The  Honeydew  experience  in  housekeeping 
was  passing  far  beyond  what  he  had  bargained 
for.  He  did  not  realize  the  benefit — if  there 
were  any  benefit  at  all,  in  the  arrangement — 
of  feeding  three  servants,  when  the  rest  of  the 
household  consisted,  properly,  only  of  himself 
and  Marian,  and  the  innocent  little  half-year- 
old  baby,  who  could  n't  be  counted  as  one,  in 
the  aggregate,  and,  just  as  the  April  days 
were  opening,  he  took  the  greatest  pleasure 


1 88    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

of  his  life  in  pasting  on  the  front  of  the  hou33 
one  of  the  printed  notices  which  could  be 
bought  for  two  cents  at  any  stationer's,  and 
which  read,  in  bold,  clear  letters : 


THIS  HOUSE 
TO 
INQUIRE 


CHAPTER  XVII. 

A  CHANGE  OF  BASE. 

THE  experiences  which  had  been  granted 
to  Marian  Honeydevv  during  her  married  life 
had  not  been  altogether  as  rose-colored  as 
she  could  have  wished,  and  the  remembrance 
of  their  Sunday  morning  conversations  in 
their  pretty  parlor  and  bedroom  at  the  - 
Hotel  came  back  to  her  every  once  in  a  while 
with  poignant  sorrow  at  the  consequences 
which  had  followed  in  the  train  of  the  sugges 
tions  she  had  there  and  then  made. 

Not  that  she  liked  a  hotel  life — not  that  she 
thought  it  better  to  be  confined  to  the  roam 
ing  capacity  of  two  rooms,  or  three,  instead 
of  a  whole  house,  all  to  herself,  to  do  as  she 
pleased,  and  to  live  as  she  pleased  —  but  Ma 
rian  Honeydew  was  the  victim  of  educational 
circumstances  which  she  could  not  control. 

She  had  gone  forth  into  the   world   as  a 

(189) 


IQO    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

bride,  and  in  little  more  than  a  year,  had  dis 
covered  that  the  tinsel  -  wedding  education 
which  Mrs.  Weatherby  had  given  her,  was  of 
little  use  to  her  when  the  battle  of  life  was  to 
be  fought  in  a  series  of  hard  campaigns.  There 
was  a  great  deal  more  in  life  than  mere  enjoy 
ment;  there  was  more  to  be  done,  much  more 
to  be  thought  of,  than  what  to  wear  at  the 
Fungus'  party,  or  what  to  wear  at  the  Charity 
Ball,  the  Leiderkrantz,  or  at  the  Opera,  and  as 
the  buds  in  her  bridal  bouquet  had  faded,  be 
neath  the  glass  shade  upon  the  mantel,  she  re 
alized  that  even  so  had  faded  away,  her  pictures 
of  married  life,  with  all  love  and  no  responsi 
bilities. 

She  thought  she  knew  how  to  do  things,  till 
she  was  forced  to  put  her  limited  knowledge 
to  a  practical  test.  To  eat  a  piece  of  well- 
cooked  meat,  or  vegetables,  which  some  one 
else  had  prepared,  was  a  nice  thing  to  do — 
any  one,  with  the  food  provided — could  en 
joy  it ;  but  when  it  came  to  knowing  how 
to  cook  the  meats  herself,  or  how  to  super 
intend  the  cooking  at  the  hands  of  inex 
perienced  or  stupid  servants,  she  was  far 


TINSEL-WEDDING  EDUCATION.  191 

beyond  her  depth  and  could  not  stem  the 
current. 

The  lessons  of  dear  Mamma's  household  had 
been  faulty,  in  very  many  respects.  Selfish  of 
her  own  comforts,  Mrs.  Weatherby  had  for 
years  ruled  her  children  (and  her  husband) 
with  hands  of  iron,  and  had  failed  to  educate 
her  daughters  up  to  the  standard  of  American 
housekeeping,  as  required  by  the  tests  of  the 
annoyances  of  their  Greatest  Plague  in  Life — 
the  Servant  Question;  and  had  sent  Marian 
into  the  arms  of  her  husband,  a  prettily  dressed 
doll,  to  be  treated  as  she  was  in  reality'only  as 
a  baby-wife,  and  to  be  humored  with  camelias 
and  tube-roses  the  year  round,  at  no  matter 
what  actual  cost  to  her  indulgent  husband. 

And  yet,  in  all  these  trials,  the  young  peo 
ple  loved  each  other,  and  felt  a  mutual  de 
pendence  which  made  their  love  almost  a 
blessing,  when  they  were  left  to  themselves 
and  beyond  the  baneful  jurisdiction  of  Mrs. 
Weatherby's  ill-chosen  dictation  or  "advice." 

At  sea,  in  an  open  boat,  without  oars — 
afloat  on  the  billows  of  their  matrimonial  and 
paternal  responsibility  —  they  were  drifting, 


192    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

these  young  people,  and  had  seen  enough  of 
housekeeping  to  know  that  the  errors  of  early 
domestic  training  were  to  be  remedied  in  af 
ter  life  only  by  the  hardest  knocks,  and  by  the 
most  patient  endurance,  and  they  had  deter 
mined  on  a  new  departure,  when  the  house 
should  be  rented,  and  the  time  for  moving  out 
should  arrive. 

The  dear  little  chubby  hands  which  clasped 
Marian  around  the  neck  in  the  early  morning 
hours — the  little  head,  with  its  small  appor 
tionment  of  soft,  silken  hair,  which  nestled  in 
its  sleepy  innocence  upon  Harry's  shoulder — 
these  two  formed  a  bond  between  them  which 
would  grow  firmer  with  years,  and  more  hal 
lowed  in  its  union,  as  each  additional  ray  of 
sunlight  came  to  them,  and  the  cares  which 
love  lightened  became  a  life's  burden  they 
were  glad  to  bear. 

Love-life  had  passed  its  shadow  phases, 
and  had  changed  into  the  stern  reality  of  life 
which  needed  exertion,  consistency  and  for 
bearance  to  make  it  pleasant ;  and  that  they 
two  were  to  live  for  each  other,  and  with  each 
other,  to  lighten  their  mutual  cares  and  to  re- 


A  FAMILY   GROUP.  193 

lieve  their  mutual  sorrows,  became,  with  Ma 
rian  Honeydew  and  Harry,  the  teachings  of 
the  lessons  in  housekeeping  which  they  had 
already  learned. 

Another  plan  of  living  was  advised,  and  the 
consultation  which  ended  in  its  adoption  ran 
as  follows : 

"Dear?" 

"Well,  darling?" 

This  time  the  word  "dear"  came  from 
Harry,  and  the  reply  from  Marian. 

"  I  'm  tired  of  housekeeping." 

"  But,  Harry,  what  will  we  do  with  the 
things?  you  know  you  bought  so  many,  and 
it  is  a  shame  to  sacrifice  them." 

"  Do  with  them  ?  Why  this.  There  are 
nice  rooms  in  Fifth  Avenue — a  whole  suite — 
bath-room  and  all,  and  a  room  for  the  nurse. 
They  can  be  rented  at  a  fair  price,  we  have 
things  enough  to  furnish  them,  and  we  can 
live  on  the  semi-European  plan.  What  do 
you  say  to  it  ?" 

And  then  Harry  Honeydew  caught  his  little 
wife  around  the  waist,  as  she  stood  by  him, 
as  he  was  lying  upon  the  sofa,  with  a  Sunday 
9 


194    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF   THE   PERIOD. 

paper  in  his  hand,  and,  moving  back  a  little, 
pulled  her  down  to  a  seat  beside  him. 

"  We  will  try  it,  darling,  if  you  think  best, 
and,  this  time,  let  it  be  your  experiment !" 

Marian's  soft  hand — with  the  solitaire  dia 
mond,  the  amethyst  with  the  initial  upon  it, 
and  the  plain  gold  wedding  ring — was  placed 
lovingly  in  his,  and  the  nurse,  who  came 
down  into  the  library  with  baby  in  her  arms, 
placed  little  Harry  between  them,  sitting  on 
his  father's  breast. 

They  played  awhile  with  baby,  and  then 
sat  down  to  dinner — a  dinner  cooked  by  their 
latest  mistress  of  the  kitchen,  who  had  been 
only  a  month  in  the  house,  and  had  not  served 
them  a  thoroughly  decent  meal  since  her  in 
duction  into  office. 

There  was  a  little  more  consultation,  a 
deal  of  effective  argument,  and  as  a  result, 
the  next  day,  they  went  down  into  the  Avenue, 
looked  at  the  apartments,  agreed  to  take  them, 
and  to  move  in  one  week's  time. 

The  new  tenants  of  the  house  in  East 

street  bought  some  of  the  furniture,  and  the 
oil-cloth,  which  the  departing  tenants  did 


THE  REMEDY.  195 

not  need,  and  the  rest  went  into  the  rooms 
which  the  Honeydews  had  taken,  where 
they  were  to  live  as  they  pleased,  with  room 
J  for  comfort  and  to  spare,  and  without  the  an 
noyance  of  but  the  one  servant,  the  nurse  for 
the  little  curly-headed  boy. 

And  the  Honeydews  say  they  like  it,  leav 
ing  to  others,  if  they  choose,  the  solution  of 
the  Servant  Question  and  allowing  a  random 
friend,  in  a  parody  to  tell  in  rhyme  what  they 
had  learned  in  sober,  honest,  prose : 


AN   APPEAL. 

YE  servant  girls,  who  idly  sing, 
And  make  your  dirty  kitchens  ring — 
Whose  useless  hands,  'twould  seem  most  true, 
Neglect  all  things  you  have  to  do, 
,  Tell  us,  we  pray,  what  do  you  ask, 
.To  do  each  day  your  honest  task  ? 
Pray  tell  us,  servants,  will  you  stay, 
If  higher  wages  .we  should  pay  ? — 
Would  you  have  ladies  hire  to  you, 
To  teach  you  all  your  duties  through  ? 


196    THE   SERVANT-GIRL   OF  THE   PERIOD. 

Could  you  but  hear  the  sad  complaint, 
Of  household-horrors  none  can  paint, 
You  would  give  up  your  stubborn  ways, 
And  let  your  mistress  end  her  days 
In  quiet — girls,  she  '11  ask  no  more 
Than  girls  would  do  in  days  of  yore ! 

Ye  model  cooks — who  always  bring 
"  Characthers  "  good  for  every  thing, — 
Why  do  you  represent  to  do 
So  many  things,  both  old  and  new — 
To  cook  our  dinners,  great  and  small, 
And  yet  so  often  fail  in  all  ? 
Why  are  our  beefsteaks  never  done  ? 
And  why  do  all  your  custards  "  run  ?" 
Why  do  you  claim  your  "  one  day  out?" 
Why  do  you  slam  the  things  about? 
To  get  you,  housewives  have  to  stand, 
And  answer  every  stern  command — 
Of,  whether  tubs  are  "stationary  ;" 
Or,  if  the  kitchen  's  light  and  airy — 
Or,  if  the  range  be  new  or  old — 
Or,  if  the  cellar  's  damp  or  cold — 
While  you  are  putting  questions  so, 
Ere  from  the  "  Office  "  you  will  go. 


AN  APPEAL.  Ip/ 

Ye  model  nurse-maids,  who  hire  out 

To  "  tote  "  our  precious  babes  about — 

Why  do  you  all,  when  out  of  sight, 

Allow  the  child  to  cry  with  fright, 

While  you  go  flirting  here  and  there, 

With  baby's  arms  all  cold  and  bare  ? 

You  take  no  heed  of  what  you  do, 

And  handle  babe  like  rubber,  too ! 

Why  do  its  frocks  go  long  unmended? 

Why  do  you  all,  when  day  is  ended, 

Read  novels  (neatly  bound  in  yellow, 

Which  bring  the  sobs  from  hearts  so  mellow,) 

Instead  of  mending  up  things  torn, 

Or  darning  stockings  badly  worn? 

There  's  only  one  thing  that  you  heed — 

'T  is  when  your  monthly  pay  you  need  ; 

And  even  then,  you  ask  for  more, 

As  though  not  overpaid  before  ! 

Ye  cooks  and  nursing-maids  who  thrive 
Upon  such  actions,  you  will  drive 
Your  mistresses  to  such  a  strait, 
You  will  be  ruined,  soon  or  late ! 
They  '11  quit  the  parlor,  and  will  learn 
To  cook  a  beefsteak  to  a  turn — 


IQ8    THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

As  in  the  famed,  old-fashioned  days, 
In  their  grandmothers'  homely  ways — 
When  women  learned  to  sew  and  cook 
In  sober  earnest — not  by  book. 
Then,  like  all  good  and  loving  wives, 
They  '11  not  be  pestered  all  their  lives 
By  girls  who  know  a  deal,  they  vow, 
"  If  misthress  will  but  show  them  how  !" 
And,  when  the  "  month  is  up,"  they  go, 
(After  the  "  misthress  "  has  done  so). 
So  heed,  ye  servants,  this  appeal, 
And  for  your  honest  interests  feel, 
Else  no  more  "  agencies  "  will  live 
Upon  the  dollar-fees  we  give — 
And  ladies  will  defy  your  call, 
By  doing — not  a  part — but  ALL  ! 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

THE   REMEDY,  AND   THE   RESULT. 

IT  would  be  unfair  towards  the  Honey- 
dews  to  leave  them  adrift,  with  the  remark 
that  they  were  satisfied  in  their  new  "  experi 
mental  "  home,  without  further  comment. 
But  it  is  worthy  of  much  remark  that,  when 
we  took  occasion  to  say  that  the  Honeydews 
were  satisfied,  that  the  Honeydews  "liked" 
it,  meaning  the  situation,  they  left  to  others  a 
solution  of  a  mystery. 

Their  own  remedy  was  the  best  solution, 
and  why  they  liked  their  new  home  is  an  easy 
showing. 

There  was  yet  a  great  deal  to  be  done, 
when  the  Honeydews  turned  the  back  of 
their  carriage  to  the  establishment  in  East 

-  Street,  and  turned  down  into  the  Avenue, 
on  the  way  to  the  new  residence. 

Marian  and  Harry  sat  on  the  back  seat  of 

099) 


200    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

the  vehicle,  and  the  latest  edition  of  a  nurse- 
girl,  who  had  been  one  month  in  active  ser 
vice,  and  moderately  successful,  sat  on  the 
front  seat,  holding  the  young  Honeydew  on 
her  Milesian  lap,  and  the  baby  looked  with 
its  little  wondering  eyes  out  of  the  carriage 
window,  and  Harry  looked  at  the  baby,  and 
looked  quite  as  wonderingly  at  the  infant  as 
the  baby  did  at  the  objects  which  passed 
within  the  range  of  its  baby  vision. 

All  the  small  things,  such  as  the  pet  band 
boxes,  and  the  few  choice  things  done  up  in  a 
bundle,  together  with  the  case  containing  the 
household  silver,  were  upon  the  seat  next  to 
the  nurse,  and  it  may  be  truly  said  of  Harry, 
that  the  most  valued  of  his  worldly  posses 
sions  were  in  that  carriage,  bound  down-town 
to  a  new  home,  which  was,  in  still  greater 
verity,  his  experiment. 

Marian  had  consented  to  the  new  arrange 
ment  of  housekeeping  with  apparent  sincerity 
at  the  result,  and  yet  with  an  indefinable  mis 
giving  as  to  the  particular  plan  which  her 
husband  had  devised. 

Mrs.  Weatherby  had,  by  way  of  a  parting 


ANOTHER  CHANGE.  2OI 

crumb  of  comfort  to  the  young  folks,  sub 
stantially  allowed  her  foot  to  be  set  down 
upon  the  whole  arrangement. 

Marian's  appreciation  of  filial  respect  had 
permitted,  at  the  last  moment,  her  dear  Mam 
ma's  opinions  to  have  a  comparative  weight 
in  the  final  consideration  of  the  arrangements. 

A  little  dubious,  then,  was  her  inquiry,  as 
the  carriage  was  driven  rapidly  down  town, 
and  she  turned  her  face  to  Harry,  and,  in  a 
half  whisper,  asked  : 

"  Do  you  think  you  '11  like  it,  Harry  ?'* 

"  Like  it,  little  wife  ?  We  can  only  try  it ; 
and  if  it  doesn't  suit,  there  is  but  one  thing 
to  be  done." 

"  And  that  is " 

"  Drown  the  baby  ;  and  then,  when  there 
are  no  more  servants  to  be  humored,  live 
somewhere  on  a  roof,  and  go  down  to  the 
street  by  the  fire-escape  of  a  tenement  house." 

He  was  severe  in  his  expression,  which 
was  hardly  humorous ;'  but  Marian  had  seen 
so  much  of  the  consequences  of  her  own  want 
of  experience,  that  she  was  at  last  willing  to 
consider  that  the  lines  of  her  life  and  Harry's 
9* 


202    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

had  been  drawn  in  parallels,  and  that  on  his 
judgment  and  to  his  door  should  be  laid  the 
failure  of  their  new  way  of  living. 

Besides,  they  had  been  long  enough  mar 
ried  to  have  worn  off  the  gilding  from  their 
married  life ;  and  while  Harry  had  not  in 
reality  any  reason  to  be  less  loving,  there 
was  a  quiet  determination  in  his  manner 
which  forbade  any  argument,  and  left  the  sit 
uation  to  be  accepted  as  it  was. 

The  new  house  was  an  institution — rooms 
on  the  second  floor,  in  a  fashionable  neighbor 
hood,  nicely  furnished  at  Honey  dew's  ex 
pense,  and  the  general  arrangement,  one 
which,  while  it  gave  most  of  the  advantages 
of  housekeeping,  precluded  the  possibility  of 
an  infliction  of  the  servant-nuisance. 

A  week  or  more  was  frittered  away  in  a  sort 
of  semi-affectionate  existence.  There  was  no 
actual  quarrelling  between  Marian  and»Harry, 
but  there  was  a  great  deal  of  cross-firing, 
which  the  visit  of  dear  Mamma,  on  Sunday 
morning,  had  not  helped  to  quiet. 

'A  rainy,  drizzling  day,  that  Sunday,  with 
no  sunshine  to  come  in  at  the  front  windows, 


DISADVANTAGES.  203 

and  Mrs.  Weatherby  had  seen  fit  to  pay  them 
an  early  visit — just  in  time  to  catch  Marian  at 
work  washing  baby,  while  the  breakfast  things 
in  the  next  room  of  the  suite  were  still  upon 
the  table. 

It  had  been  one  of  those  peculiar  mornings, 
known  only  to  married  people,  when  the 
matrimonial  barometer  had  begun  to  fall,  long 
before  daylight. 

Baby  had  been  restless — there  had  been  a 
sleepless  night,  and  Harry  and  Marian  had 
very  little  to  say  to  each  other  between  get- 
ting-up  time  and  breakfast ;  which  breakfast, 
ordered  from  the  restaurant,  had  not  been 
served  quite  as  they  would  have  wished  to 
have  it. 

It  wasn't  quite  so  handy  as  having  their 
own  kitchen,  and  their  own  cook  to  prepare 
the  meal,  but  there  was  a  diversion  to  the 
meal-taking  which  Harry  had  for  bis  own 
indulgence,  by  way  of  aiding  to  serve,  if  not 
to  prepare,  it. 

Restaurant  cooks  had  failed  to  boil  the 
s  to  their  proper  consistency  to  suit  Ma 
rian's  taste  —  and  the  five-dollar  gas-st<> 


204    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

located  in  the  bath-room,  was  put  in  requisi 
tion  to  complete  the  egg-boiling. 

All  this,  and  several  other  small  evidences 
of  discomfort,  together  with  the  crying  of 
young  Master  Honeydew,  did  not  put  dear 
Mamma  in  the  best  of  humor,  and  did  not 
tend  to  keep  Marian's  sweet  face  wreathed  in 
household  smiles. 

And  then,  there  was  an  argument  upon 
keeping  house  in  apartments,  and  keeping 
house  in  your  own  complete  establishment. 

From  argument  to  argument  the  three  pro 
gressed,  till  the  several  phases  of  their  new 
way  of  living  were  all  duly  considered,  and 
Mrs.  Weatherby  proposed  to  take  the  party 
to  board,  at  the  paternal  mansion. 

After  the  making  of  the  proposition,  she 
waited,  as  calmly  as  she  could,  with  her  Ger 
man-American  temper,  for  the  answer. 

Marian  hesitated — her  dark  eyes  began  to 
glisten  with  tears,  and  a  chin  that  was  quite 
as  pretty  as  any  one  else's  chin,  with  a  dear 
little,  cunning  dimple  in  it,  began  to  quiver 
spasmodically. 

"  1  think  not,  mother,"  said  Harry,  noticing 


FARTHER  CONSULTATIONS.  2O$ 

Marian's  confusion  and  indecision.  "  We  will 
try  it  here  ;  if  .we  can  Xcontinue  to  live  com 
fortably,  there  is  one  thing  left.  There  are 
rooms  to  be  had  in  the  -  -  Hotel.  I  know 
all  about  it,  and  we  can  go  back  there." 

'T  was  no  use  for  dear  Mamma  to  get  angry 
— angry  words  or  quick  ones  would  have  been 
ill-timed,  and  she  had  enough  of  discernment  to 
know  it,  and  left  the  house  with  a  very  defi 
nite  opinion  that  Harry  Honeydew  was  the 
most  stubborn  of  men,  and  Marian  Honeydew 
the  most  incorrigible  of  daughters. 

It  would  not  be  fair  to  detail  all  the  loving 
words  which  Harry  said  to  his  little  wife  when 
they  were  alone — they  are  sacred  as  all  such 
words  should  be,  to  the  persons  who  have  a 
right  to  say  them ;  but,  before  the  afternoon 
had  worn  away,  there  was  hopeful  expectancy 
for  the  future  in  the  apartments  of  the  Honey- 
dews. 

Here,  then,  we  may  say,  that  they  had  found 
the  remedy  for  the  servant  troubles,  and  had 
adopted  the  principle  of  living,  which  seems 
best  adapted  to  their  comfortable  existence. 

Handsomely  furnished,   their    rooms    cost 


206    THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

them  only  half  as  much  as  the  rent  of  a  house 
would,  and  there  was  Jio  annoyance  from  hav 
ing  to  provide  the  wood,  the  coal,  the  cook 
ing-utensils,  and  the  cook. 

It  cost  about  as  much  to  live,  perhaps — but 
there  was  a  change  of  diet  and  a  freedom  from 
care,  which  afforded  a  grateful  change  to  Ma 
rian,  and  there  was  a  relief  from  all  anxiety, 
excepting  such  as  trfey  saw  fit  to  encourage  in 
their  own  apartments,  and  the  care  of  the 
curly-headed  baby-boy. 

To  the  way  of  living,  which  alone  suggests 
the  remedy  for  the  servant-nuisance,  such  as 
the  Honeydews  have  adopted,  must  the  Ameri 
can  housekeepers  come,  unless  there  be  a  ra 
dical  change  in  the  construction  of  the  female 
servants'  duties. 

The  evils  of  an  extensive  immigration,  of 
the  "  rings "  of  employment  offices,  and  the 
formation  of  secret  surveillance-service  soci 
eties  over  the  ladies  who  employ  the  cooks, 
the  waiting-maids,  the  chambermaids,  and  the 
laundresses,  are  the  evils  from  which  there 
would  seem  to  be  but  one  channel  of.  escape. 
There  must  be  a  willingness  to  work,  and  to 


HOW  THEY   DO   IT.  2O/ 

teach  the  Servant-girls  of  the  Period  that 
wages  must  be  moderate  and  duties  must  be 
fairly  performed.  The  old-time  lessons  of 
women  who  were  content  to  take  life  as  it 
was — not  as  they  would  wish  it  to  be — must 
be  turned  to  good  profit ;  and,  until  such  is 
the  case,  there  will  be  no  diminution  of  the 
list  of  household  terrors,  and  home  will  be 
tinsel  and  uncertainty,  and  the  servants  will 
retain  the  upper  hand. 

The  curiosities  of  Servant  -  Girlism  are 
strange,  when  considered  as  a  part  of  a  general 
system  which  has  inherent  peculiarities ;  and 
there  would  really  seem  to  be  no  way  of 
escape  from  the  annoyances  and  inflictions 
placed  upon  the  American  housekeepers. 

Area -railing  conferences  are  among  the 
channels  of  information  through  which  is  de 
rived  the  complete  ascendency  of  the  ser 
vants  over  the  people  whom  they  are  pledged 
to  serve,  and  to  whom  they  look  for  punctual 
payment  of  wages. 

Bridget,  Mary,  or  Susan,  as  the  case  may 
be,  "  makes  friends  with  the  neighborhood," 
interviews  the  butcher's  boy,  or  the  baker,  or 


208     THE   SERVANT- GIRL  OF  THE   PERIOD. 

the  lad  who  brings  in  the  groceries,  and  at 
the  end  of  her  cross-examination  has  gener 
ally  posted  herself  upon  the  names,  habits  and 
love-affairs  of  the  girls  for  a  block,  at  least, 
within  the  range  of  her  present  residence, 
and  within  the  visiting  circle  which  she  pro 
poses  to  adopt. 

A  new  face  in  a  neighborhood  creates  a 
sensation  among  the  "  help,"  which  ends  in  a 
scrutiny  of  the  new  comer,  as  to  whether  she 
shall  be  adopted  in  a  particular  set,  or 
whether  she  shall  be  considered  as  an  out 
sider  in  the  making  up  of  the  society  slate. 

Belles  of  the  kitchen  are  quite  as  careful  in 
their  selection  of  associates  as  the  belles  of 
the  parlor ;  and  when  there  are  wars,  or 
rumors  of  wars,  among  the  Cabinet  down 
stairs,  the  effect  of  the  trouble  becomes  mani 
fest  all  over  the  house,  more  particularly  if 
the  disturbance  be  occasioned  by  one  of  the 
petty  jealousies  which  follow  upon  servant- 
girl  flirtation  or  actual  servant-girl  love. 

The  relations  of  mistress  and  servant  have 
no  line  by  which  to  mark  their  existence  or 
prescribe  their  limits.  The  mistress  is  never 


THE  SITUATION.  209 

permitted  to  encroach  upon  the  servant ;  this 
may  be  taken  as  a  fact,  borne  out  by  the  evi 
dence  of  every  household,  and  it  has  already 
become  a  law  by  which  the  women  employ 
ed  hold  their  control  in  matters  of  household, 
importance  by  an  indirect  but  strong-handed 
influence. 

Summing  up  this  situation  is  a  work  of  lit 
tle  labor,  and  it  will  suggest  itself  to  any 
housekeeper  who  has  passed  the  ordeal  which 
the  servants  impose. 

Given,  a  good  cook — one  who  really  knows 
her  business.  This  woman,  with  the  full 
knowledge  that  she  is  the  main  spring  of  the 
establishment,  chooses- to  dictate  how  she  will 
govern  her  kitchen — will  take  no  suggestions 
from  a  young  mistress,  and  finally  deems  so 
many  things  necessary  (?)  to  her  use,  that 
the  list  from  the  grocer's  exceeds  all  estimates 
of  cost  of  articles  or  quantity,  and  the  lady 
ventures  to  remonstrate. 

Here,  then,  comes  the  row.  In  a  few  mo 
ments  the  "  ball  is  open,"  to  the  satisfaction  of 
the  cook,  and  to  the  dismay  of  the  mistress. 

"  If  ye  want  yer  dinners  cooked,  ye  must 


2IO     THE   SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

have  the  things ;  an'  if  ye  do  n't  know  what 
to  ordher,  yerself,  /do  !" 

This  ends  the  discussion.  If  the  cook  is 
allowed  to  quarrel,  the  mistress  gets  the 
•worst  of  it — just  as  dear  little  Marian  Honey- 
dew  did,  in  several  of  her  discussions  ;  and 
the  cook  remains  the  mistress,  and  with  an 
open  war  continually  impending,  the  rule  of 
the  servants  is  established,  and  the  ladies 
must  submit — just  as  Marian  Honeydew  sub 
mitted,  till  the  interference  of  Mamma  ended 
in  the  girl's  dismissal  and  consequent  chaos 
in  the  Honeydew  kitchen  for  a  week  or  more. 

Remembering  all  these  things — taking  into 
consideration  the  fact  that  the  Servant-Girl 
of  the  Period  is  a  necessity  which  the  duties 
of  housekeeping  demand  shall  exist,  remem 
bering  also  that  the  almost  universal  lack  of 
education  among  servants — that  they  come 
to  this  country  breathing  the  air  of  a  land 
new  to  them,  and  which  they  have  been  led 
to  look  upon  as  a  land  of  veritable  promise, 
and  abounding  in  the  privileges  of  suffrage 
and  government  to  their  lovers,  or  their  male 
relatives,  and  with  the  privilege  of  ruling 


WATCHING  THE  BIRDS  AND  THINKING.   211 

below  stairs  vouchsafed  to  themselves — there 
is  work  of  great  magnitude  to  be  accomplish 
ed  before  the  servant-plague  can  be  abated. 

Our  friends,  the  Honeydews,  had  tried 
every  sort  of  experiment,  excepting  the  Ne 
gro  servant,  whom  Marian  "  could  not  endure 
to  have  around  her,"  or  the  Chinese,  whom 
she  refused  to  adopt,  and  very  properly, 
under  the  circumstances. 

Sitting  in  their  cosy  parlor,  after  a  month's 
residence  in  their  new  apartments,  Marian 
and  Harry  were  looking  out  upon  the  Avenue, 
one  pleasant  evening,  watching  the  carriages 
rolling  along  on  the  busy  street,  and  Marian 
wondering  where  all  the  pretty  little  sparrows 
stowed  themselves  away  in  their  little  wooden 
boxes,  and  at  what  time  the  birds  "  went  to 
bed." 

But  Harry  had  more  to  think  of  than  spar 
rows,  or  bird-boxes ;  he  was  wondering,  qui 
etly,  whether  Marian  really  liked  their  way 
of  living,  and  so  he  asked  her,  in  a  quiet  way  : 

"  Do  ypu  like  your  new  home,  pet  ?" 

They  were  sitting  just  close  enough  to  each 
other  to  allow  Marian  to  rest  her  head  upon 


212     THE  SERVANT-GIRL  OF  THE  PERIOD. 

her  husband's  shoulder.  A  close  observer 
would  perhaps  have  noticed  that  Harry 
moved  an  inch  or  two  nearer  to  his  little 
wife,  las  he  looked  at  her ;  but,  either  way, 
the  head  did  reach  his  shoulder,  and  a  pair 
of  dark  eyes  looked  lovingly  up  into  his  face, 
as  she  answered  : 

"  Yes,  Harry,  I  do.  Until  servants  become 
ordinary  men  and  women  in  their  relations  to 
housekeepers,  and  learn  to  know  their  places, 
I  live  here — unless  you  want  another  house." 

The  reply  which  Harry  gave  to  her  was 
loving  in  its  intention,  although  perhaps 
severe,  causing  a  blush  upon  Marian's  face, 
which  Harry  did  not  see,  as  they  were  sitting 
in  the  shadow  : 

"  My  baby-wife  has  not  the  household  train 
ing  to  cope  with  the  servants  she  must  have 
around  her ;  we  will  let  well-enough  alone, 
darling,  if  you  say  so." 

There  need  be  no  details  given  of  the  loving 
kiss  which  followed.  Both  were  satisfied  and 
both  had  learned  of  housekeeping  and  the 
Servant-Question  all  they  desired,  for  present 
uses  and  experiences. 


CONTENTS. 


INTRODUCTORY.— An  old  definition.— " Paul  Peebles'"  experience.— Di 
gressive 5 

CHAPTER  I. 

Mr.  Honeydew's  discovery. — Tired  of  Hotel  Life. — Mrs.  Honeydew  takes 
advice. — A  Pretty  Picture  drawn. — And  a  little  letter  to  Dear 
Mamma 29 

CHAPTER  II. 

Mrs.  Honeydew's  tour  of  exploration. — Advertisements. — Five  chances  for 

a  cook. — A  little  lady  in  a  strange  neighborhood. — No.  —  East 

Street. — Tenement -house  artists. — A  little  lady  snubbed. — Another 
trial. — A  jewel  secured 38 

CHAPTER  III. 

Family  Portraits.— Dear  Mamma.— What  Dear  Mamma  had  done.— Policy 
and  Cologne-water. — News  for  Mr.  Honeydew 59 

CHAPTER  IV. 

Mr.  Honeydew  does  his  duty. — His  conversion. — Mrs.  Honeydew's  duty 
performed  — The  work  commenced. — Not  angry,  but  surprised. — An 
"  opening  "  in  silver-ware. — A  sincere  determination.  . . . .' 60 

CHAPTER  V. 

The  Honeydews  "  at  home."— A  good  prospect.— A  "  new  departure."— 
Rose-tints  of  life. — Ellen. — The  first  visitors T* 


214  CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER  VI. 

An  evening's  experience.— Fault-finding. — Anxiety. — Locked  out  in  the 
moonlight. — Patience  and  window-panes. — A  brilliant  dining-room. — 
An  energetic  policeman. — "  Martell — 1840." 82 

CHAPTER  VII. 

Mr.  Honeydew  settles  a  difficulty. — That  breakfast. — Dear  Mamma's  selec 
tion. — Miss  O'Connor  indignant. — One  servant  less. — An  affectionate 
inquiry 95 

CHAPTER  VIII. 

A  ray  of  sunshine. — The  Employment  Bureau. — Maggie  Murphy. — Dear 
Mamma  surprised. — A  just  distinction. — Inspection. — Mr.  Honeydew's 
selection. — The  Long  Branch  cottage.  103 

CHAPTER  IX. 

A  change  of  scene. — The  "  Bouquet  of  Artists." — A  catalogue. — Seaside 
plans. — Considering. — Off  to  the  "  Branch." — Advantages — Sundries 
for  the  "  season." 117 

CHAPTER  X. 

Long  Branch. — A  glimpse  of  happiness. — Sea -fog. — Marine  view,  with 
landscape. — An  early  breakfast  wanted. — Miss  Feeney. — Rebellion. — 
A  quick  "  good-morning  !" — A  disgusted  traveler 127 

CHAPTER  XI. 

Milesian  visitors. — An  armistice. — A  few  things  wanted.  —  Cousin  and 
friend. — Late  visitors  and  back-door  courtship 136 

CHAPTER  XII. 

A  painful  discovery. — A  bird  flown. — A  lively  family  scene. — Cleaned  out. 
— A  timely  escape 142 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

Norah, — A  last  experiment. — Dear  Mamma  pleased. — A  difference  of  opin 
ion. — A  story-telling. — A  bevy  of  friends. — The  cut  direct.  —  Seaside 
courtesies. — The  cause  of  a  snubbing. — Dining-room  errors. — Moun 
tains  versus  seaside 147 


.CONTENTS.  215 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

Baby  Kingdom. — Homeward-bound. — A  divided  household. — A  romantic 
servant.  —  Kitchen  literature, — Ante-parental  nervousness.  —  "Wel 
come,  little  stranger  !" 158 

CHAPTER  XV. 

Baby's  Cabinet. — Baby's  Prime  Ministers. — Mrs.  Wraclcett. — A  rheumatic 
nurse. — Paternal  privileges. — Banished  to  the  third  story. — A  question 
of  endurance. — Once  more  "  at  home  " 165 

CHAPTER  XVI. 

A  new  Regime. — Baby's  presents. —  Infantile  troubles. — "Old  Holland 
Gin  "  and  Catnip. — Mr.  Honeydew's  new  sphere  of  duty. — A  high- 
toned  cook. — A  passage  at  arms. — Ale,  champagne  and  cigars  for  two. 
— A  policeman  off  duty. — A  little  encounter. — Summing  up  the  dam 
age. — "  This  house  to  let." 174 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

A  change  of  base. — Tinsel-wedding  education. — Dear  Mamma's  teaching. 
— Tube-roses  and  matrimony. — Baby-pictures. — Another  affectionate 
interview. — Solitaire  and  plain  gold. — A  pleasant  sofa-party  of  three. — 
The  lemedy  for  the  Greatest  Plague  in  Life 189 

CHAPTER  XVIII. 

The  remedy  and  the  result. — Moving  away. — A  last  resource. — Disadvan 
tages. —  Surveillance-service.  —  Bridget,  Mary,  Susan,  tt  al. — The 
housekeeper's  situation. — The  only  thing  to  do. — Semi-European  plan 
and  its  success. — At  home  on  the  Avenue 199 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 
This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


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is  1377 
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